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  1. gold future-seed It was a bright cold day in April , and the clocks were striking thirteen .
  2. gold future-seed Winston Smith , his chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind , slipped quickly through the glass doors of Victory Mansions , though not quickly enough to prevent a swirl of gritty dust from entering along with him .
  3. gold The hallway smelt of boiled cabbage and old rag mats .
  4. gold At one end of it a coloured poster , too large for indoor display , had been tacked to the wall .
  5. gold It depicted simply an enormous face , more than a metre wide : the face of a man of about forty-five , with a heavy black moustache and ruggedly handsome features .
  6. gold Winston made for the stairs .
  7. gold future-seed It was no use trying the lift .
  8. gold future-seed Even at the best of times it was seldom working , and at present the electric current was cut off during daylight hours .
  9. gold seed It was part of the economy drive in preparation for Hate Week .
  10. gold The flat was seven flights up , and Winston , who was thirty-nine and had a varicose ulcer above his right ankle , went slowly , resting several times on the way .
  11. gold On each landing , opposite the lift-shaft , the poster with the enormous face gazed from the wall .
  12. gold seed It was one of those pictures which are so contrived that the eyes follow you about when you move .
  13. gold seed `` Big Brother is watching you '' , the caption beneath it ran .
  14. gold seed Inside the flat a fruity voice was reading out a list of figures which had something to do with the production of pig-iron .
  15. gold seed The voice came from an oblong metal plaque like a dulled mirror which formed part of the surface of the right-hand wall .
  16. gold seed Winston turned a switch and the voice sank somewhat , though the words were still distinguishable .
  17. gold seed The instrument ( the telescreen , it was called ) could be dimmed , but there was no way of shutting it off completely .
  18. gold future-seed He moved over to the window : a smallish , frail figure , the meagreness of his body merely emphasized by the blue overalls which were the uniform of the Party .
  19. gold His hair was very fair , his face naturally sanguine , his skin roughened by coarse soap and blunt razor blades and the cold of the winter that had just ended .
  20. gold seed Outside , even through the shut window-pane , the world looked cold .
  21. gold seed Down in the street little eddies of wind were whirling dust and torn paper into spirals , and though the sun was shining and the sky a harsh blue , there seemed to be no colour in anything , except the posters that were plastered everywhere .
  22. gold The blackmoustachio'd face gazed down from every commanding corner .
  23. gold There was one on the house-front immediately opposite .
  24. gold `` Big Brother is watching you , '' the caption said , while the dark eyes looked deep into Winston 's own .
  25. gold seed Down at streetlevel another poster , torn at one corner , flapped fitfully in the wind , alternately covering and uncovering the single word Ingsoc .
  26. gold In the far distance a helicopter skimmed down between the roofs , hovered for an instant like a bluebottle , and darted away again with a curving flight .
  27. gold It was the police patrol , snooping into people 's windows .
  28. gold The patrols did not matter , however .
  29. gold Only the Thought Police mattered .
  30. gold Behind Winston 's back the voice from the telescreen was still babbling away about pig-iron and the overfulfillment of the Ninth Three-Year Plan .
  31. gold The telescreen received and transmitted simultaneously .
  32. gold Any sound that Winston made , above the level of a very low whisper , would be picked up by it , moreover , so long as he remained within the field of vision which the metal plaque commanded , he could be seen as well as heard .
  33. gold seed There was of course no way of knowing whether you were being watched at any given moment .
  34. gold How often , or on what system , the Thought Police plugged in on any individual wire was guesswork .
  35. gold seed It was even conceivable that they watched everybody all the time .
  36. gold seed But at any rate they could plug in your wire whenever they wanted to .
  37. gold seed You had to live - did live , from habit that became instinct - in the assumption that every sound you made was overheard , and , except in darkness , every movement scrutinized .
  38. gold seed Winston kept his back turned to the telescreen .
  39. gold It was safer , though , as he well knew , even a back can be revealing .
  40. gold A kilometre away the Ministry of Truth , his place of work , towered vast and white above the grimy landscape .
  41. gold seed This , he thought with a sort of vague distaste - this was London , chief city of Airstrip One , itself the third most populous of the provinces of Oceania .
  42. gold seed He tried to squeeze out some childhood memory that should tell him whether London had always been quite like this .
  43. gold seed Were there always these vistas of rotting nineteenth-century houses , their sides shored up with baulks of timber , their windows patched with cardboard and their roofs with corrugated iron , their crazy garden walls sagging in all directions ?
  44. gold And the bombed sites where the plaster dust swirled in the air and the willow-herb straggled over the heaps of rubble ; and the places where the bombs had cleared a larger patch and there had sprung up sordid colonies of wooden dwellings like chicken-houses ?
  45. gold But it was no use , he could not remember : nothing remained of his childhood except a series of bright-lit tableaux occurring against no background and mostly unintelligible .
  46. gold Ministry of Truth , - Minitrue , in Newspeak - was startlingly different from any other object in sight .
  47. gold It was an enormous pyramidal structure of glittering white concrete , soaring up , terrace after terrace , 300 metres into the air .
  48. gold seed From where Winston stood it was just possible to read , picked out on its white face in elegant lettering , the three slogans of the Party : `` War is peace '' `` Freedom is slavery '' `` Ignorance is strength . ''
  49. gold Ministry of Truth , contained , it was said , three thousand rooms above ground level , and corresponding ramifications below .
  50. gold Scattered about London there were just three other buildings of similar appearance and size .
  51. gold So completely did they dwarf the surrounding architecture that from the roof of Victory Mansions you could see all four of them simultaneously .
  52. gold seed They were the homes of the four Ministries between which the entire apparatus of government was divided .
  53. gold seed The Ministry of Truth , which concerned itself with news , entertainment , education , and the fine arts .
  54. gold seed The Ministry of Peace , which concerned itself with war .
  55. gold seed The Ministry of Love , which maintained law and order .
  56. gold seed And the Ministry of Plenty , which was responsible for economic affairs .
  57. gold seed Their names , in Newspeak : Minitrue , Minipax , Miniluv , and Miniplenty .
  58. gold seed The Ministry of Love was the really frightening one .
  59. gold There were no windows in it at all .
  60. gold Winston had never been inside the Ministry of Love , nor within half a kilometre of it .
  61. gold It was a place impossible to enter except on official business , and then only by penetrating through a maze of barbed-wire entanglements , steel doors , and hidden machine-gun nests .
  62. gold Even the streets leading up to its outer barriers were roamed by gorilla-faced guards in black uniforms , armed with jointed truncheons .
  63. gold Winston turned round abruptly .
  64. gold He had set his features into the expression of quiet optimism which it was advisable to wear when facing the telescreen .
  65. gold He crossed the room into the tiny kitchen .
  66. gold future-seed By leaving the Ministry at this time of day he had sacrificed his lunch in the canteen , and he was aware that there was no food in the kitchen except a hunk of dark-coloured bread which had got to be saved for tomorrow 's breakfast .
  67. gold He took down from the shelf a bottle of colourless liquid with a plain white label marked Victory Gin .
  68. gold seed It gave off a sickly , oily smell , as of Chinese rice spirit .
  69. gold future-seed Winston poured out nearly a teacupful , nerved himself for a shock , and gulped it down like a dose of medicine .
  70. gold seed Instantly his face turned scarlet and the water ran out of his eyes .
  71. gold The stuff was like nitric acid , and moreover , in swallowing it one had the sensation of being hit on the back of the head with a rubber club .
  72. gold seed The next moment , however , the burning in his belly died down and the world began to look more cheerful .
  73. gold He took a cigarette from a crumpled packet marked Victory Cigarettes and incautiously held it upright , whereupon the tobacco fell out on to the floor .
  74. gold With the next he was more successful .
  75. gold seed He went back to the living-room and sat down at a small table that stood to the left of the telescreen .
  76. gold From the table drawer he took out a penholder , a bottle of ink , and a thick , quarto-sized blank book with a red back and a marbled cover .
  77. gold For some reason the telescreen in the living-room was in an unusual position .
  78. gold Instead of being placed , as was normal , in the end wall , where it could command the whole room , it was in the longer wall , opposite the window .
  79. gold seed To one side of it there was a shallow alcove in which Winston was now sitting , and which , when the flats were built , had probably been intended to hold bookshelves .
  80. gold seed By sitting in the alcove , and keeping well back , Winston was able to remain outside the range of the telescreen , so far as sight went .
  81. gold seed He could be heard , of course , but so long as he stayed in his present position he could not be seen .
  82. gold It was partly the unusual geography of the room that had suggested to him the thing that he was now about to do .
  83. gold But it had also been suggested by the book that he had just taken out of the drawer .
  84. gold It was a peculiarly beautiful book .
  85. gold Its smooth creamy paper , a little yellowed by age , was of a kind that had not been manufactured for at least forty years past .
  86. gold seed He could guess , however , that the book was much older than that .
  87. gold seed He had seen it lying in the window of a frowsy little junk-shop in a slummy quarter of the town ( just what quarter he did not now remember ) and had been stricken immediately by an overwhelming desire to possess it .
  88. gold Party members were supposed not to go into ordinary shops ( dealing on the free market , it was called ) , but the rule was not strictly kept , because there were various things , such as shoelaces and razor blades , which it was impossible to get hold of in any other way .
  89. gold future-seed He had given a quick glance up and down the street and then had slipped inside and bought the book for two dollars fifty .
  90. gold future-seed At the time he was not conscious of wanting it for any particular purpose .
  91. gold He had carried it guiltily home in his briefcase .
  92. gold Even with nothing written in it , it was a compromising possession .
  93. gold future-seed The thing that he was about to do was to open a diary .
  94. gold This was not illegal ( nothing was illegal , since there were no longer any laws ) , but if detected it was reasonably certain that it would be punished by death , or at least by twenty-five years in a forced labour camp .
  95. gold Winston fitted a nib into the penholder and sucked it to get the grease off .
  96. gold The pen was an archaic instrument , seldom used even for signatures , and he had procured one , furtively and with some difficulty , simply because of a feeling that the beautiful creamy paper deserved to be written on with a real nib instead of being scratched with an ink-pencil .
  97. gold seed Actually he was not used to writing by hand .
  98. gold seed Apart from very short notes , it was usual to dictate everything into the speakwrite which was of course impossible for his present purpose .
  99. gold He dipped the pen into the ink and then faltered for just a second .
  100. gold A tremor had gone through his bowels .
  101. gold To mark the paper was the decisive act .
  102. gold In small clumsy letters he wrote :
  103. gold seed April 4th , 1984 .
  104. gold He sat back .
  105. gold A sense of complete helplessness had descended upon him .
  106. gold seed To begin with , he did not know with any certainty that this was 1984 .
  107. gold It must be round about that date , since he was fairly sure that his age was thirty-nine , and he believed that he had been born in 1944 or 1945 ; but it was never possible nowadays to pin down any date within a year or two .
  108. gold For whom , it suddenly occurred to him to wonder , was he writing this diary ?
  109. gold For the future , for the unborn .
  110. gold His mind hovered for a moment round the doubtful date on the page , and then fetched up with a bump against the Newspeak word doublethink .
  111. gold For the first time the magnitude of what he had undertaken came home to him .
  112. gold How could you communicate with the future ?
  113. gold seed It was of its nature impossible .
  114. gold Either the future would resemble the present , in which case it would not listen to him : or it would be different from it , and his predicament would be meaningless .
  115. gold seed For some time he sat gazing stupidly at the paper .
  116. gold The telescreen had changed over to strident military music .
  117. gold seed It was curious that he seemed not merely to have lost the power of expressing himself , but even to have forgotten what it was that he had originally intended to say .
  118. gold For weeks past he had been making ready for this moment , and it had never crossed his mind that anything would be needed except courage .
  119. gold The actual writing would be easy .
  120. gold seed All he had to do was to transfer to paper the interminable restless monologue that had been running inside his head , literally for years .
  121. gold At this moment , however , even the monologue had dried up .
  122. gold Moreover his varicose ulcer had begun itching unbearably .
  123. gold He dared not scratch it , because if he did so it always became inflamed .
  124. gold The seconds were ticking by .
  125. gold seed He was conscious of nothing except the blankness of the page in front of him , the itching of the skin above his ankle , the blaring of the music , and a slight booziness caused by the gin .
  126. gold Suddenly he began writing in sheer panic , only imperfectly aware of what he was setting down .
  127. gold seed His small but childish handwriting straggled up and down the page , shedding first its capital letters and finally even its full stops :
  128. gold April 4th , 1984 .
  129. gold seed Last night to the flicks .
  130. gold All war films .
  131. gold seed One very good one of a ship full of refugees being bombed somewhere in the Mediterranean .
  132. gold seed Audience much amused by shots of a great huge fat man trying to swim away with a helicopter after him , first you saw him wallowing along in the water like a porpoise , then you saw him through the helicopters gunsights , then he was full of holes and the sea round him turned pink and he sank as suddenly as though the holes had let in the water , audience shouting with laughter when he sank .
  133. gold seed then you saw a lifeboat full of children with a helicopter hovering over it .
  134. gold seed there was a middle-aged woman might have been a jewess sitting up in the bow with a little boy about three years old in her arms .
  135. gold seed little boy screaming with fright and hiding his head between her breasts as if he was trying to burrow right into her and the woman putting her arms round him and comforting him although she was blue with fright herself , all the time covering him up as much as possible as if she thought her arms could keep the bullets off him .
  136. gold seed then the helicopter planted a 20 kilo bomb in among them terrific flash and the boat went all to matchwood .
  137. gold seed then there was a wonderful shot of a child 's arm going up up up right up into the air a helicopter with a camera in its nose must have followed it up and there was a lot of applause from the party seats but a woman down in the prole part of the house suddenly started kicking up a fuss and shouting they didnt oughter of showed it not in front of kids they didnt it aint right not in front of kids it aint until the police turned her out i dont suppose anything happened to her nobody cares what the proles say typical prole reaction they never -
  138. gold seed Winston stopped writing , partly because he was suffering from cramp .
  139. gold seed He did not know what had made him pour out this stream of rubbish .
  140. gold But the curious thing was that while he was doing so a totally different memory had clarified itself in his mind , to the point where he almost felt equal to writing it down .
  141. gold It was , he now realized , because of this other incident that he had suddenly decided to come home and begin the diary today .
  142. gold It had happened that morning at the Ministry , if anything so nebulous could be said to happen .
  143. gold It was nearly eleven hundred , and in the Records Department , where Winston worked , they were dragging the chairs out of the cubicles and grouping them in the centre of the hall opposite the big telescreen , in preparation for the Two Minutes Hate .
  144. gold Winston was just taking his place in one of the middle rows when two people whom he knew by sight , but had never spoken to , came unexpectedly into the room .
  145. gold One of them was a girl whom he often passed in the corridors .
  146. gold He did not know her name , but he knew that she worked in the Fiction Department .
  147. gold Presumably - since he had sometimes seen her with oily hands and carrying a spanner she had some mechanical job on one of the novel-writing machines .
  148. gold She was a bold-looking girl , of about twenty-seven , with thick hair , a freckled face , and swift , athletic movements .
  149. gold A narrow scarlet sash , emblem of the Junior Anti-Sex League , was wound several times round the waist of her overalls , just tightly enough to bring out the shapeliness of her hips .
  150. gold Winston had disliked her from the very first moment of seeing her .
  151. gold He knew the reason .
  152. gold It was because of the atmosphere of hockey-fields and cold baths and community hikes and general clean-mindedness which she managed to carry about with her .
  153. gold He disliked nearly all women , and especially the young and pretty ones .
  154. gold future-seed It was always the women , and above all the young ones , who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party , the swallowers of slogans , the amateur spies and nosers-out of unorthodoxy .
  155. gold But this particular girl gave him the impression of being more dangerous than most .
  156. gold Once when they passed in the corridor she gave him a quick sidelong glance which seemed to pierce right into him and for a moment had filled him with black terror .
  157. gold seed The idea had even crossed his mind that she might be an agent of the Thought Police .
  158. gold seed That , it was true , was very unlikely .
  159. gold seed Still , he continued to feel a peculiar uneasiness , which had fear mixed up in it as well as hostility , whenever she was anywhere near him .
  160. gold seed The other person was a man named O'Brien , a member of the Inner Party and holder of some post so important and remote that Winston had only a dim idea of its nature .
  161. gold seed A momentary hush passed over the group of people round the chairs as they saw the black overalls of an Inner Party member approaching .
  162. gold O'Brien was a large , burly man with a thick neck and a coarse , humorous , brutal face .
  163. gold seed In spite of his formidable appearance he had a certain charm of manner .
  164. gold He had a trick of resettling his spectacles on his nose which was curiously disarming - in some indefinable way , curiously civilized .
  165. gold It was a gesture which , if anyone had still thought in such terms , might have recalled an eighteenth-century nobleman offering his snuffbox .
  166. gold seed Winston had seen O'Brien perhaps a dozen times in almost as many years .
  167. gold seed He felt deeply drawn to him , and not solely because he was intrigued by the contrast between O'Brien 's urbane manner and his prize-fighter 's physique .
  168. gold future-seed Much more it was because of a secretly held belief - or perhaps not even a belief , merely a hope - that O'Brien 's political orthodoxy was not perfect .
  169. gold Something in his face suggested it irresistibly .
  170. gold And again , perhaps it was not even unorthodoxy that was written in his face , but simply intelligence .
  171. gold seed But at any rate he had the appearance of being a person that you could talk to if somehow you could cheat the telescreen and get him alone .
  172. gold Winston had never made the smallest effort to verify this guess : indeed , there was no way of doing so .
  173. gold At this moment O'Brien glanced at his wrist-watch , saw that it was nearly eleven hundred , and evidently decided to stay in the Records Department until the Two Minutes Hate was over .
  174. gold seed He took a chair in the same row as Winston , a couple of places away .
  175. gold seed A small , sandy-haired woman who worked in the next cubicle to Winston was between them .
  176. gold seed The girl with dark hair was sitting immediately behind .
  177. gold The next moment a hideous , grinding speech , as of some monstrous machine running without oil , burst from the big telescreen at the end of the room .
  178. gold seed It was a noise that set one 's teeth on edge and bristled the hair at the back of one 's neck .
  179. gold The Hate had started .
  180. gold seed As usual , the face of Emmanuel Goldstein , the Enemy of the People , had flashed on to the screen .
  181. gold seed There were hisses here and there among the audience .
  182. gold The little sandy-haired woman gave a squeak of mingled fear and disgust .
  183. gold Goldstein was the renegade and backslider who once , long ago ( how long ago , nobody quite remembered ) , had been one of the leading figures of the Party , almost on a level with Big Brother himself , and then had engaged in counter-revolutionary activities , had been condemned to death , and had mysteriously escaped and disappeared .
  184. gold The programmes of the Two Minutes Hate varied from day to day , but there was none in which Goldstein was not the principal figure .
  185. gold He was the primal traitor , the earliest defiler of the Party 's purity .
  186. gold seed All subsequent crimes against the Party , all treacheries , acts of sabotage , heresies , deviations , sprang directly out of his teaching .
  187. gold seed Somewhere or other he was still alive and hatching his conspiracies : perhaps somewhere beyond the sea , under the protection of his foreign paymasters , perhaps even - so it was occasionally rumoured - in some hiding-place in Oceania itself .
  188. gold Winston 's diaphragm was constricted .
  189. gold future-seed He could never see the face of Goldstein without a painful mixture of emotions .
  190. gold future-seed It was a lean Jewish face , with a great fuzzy aureole of white hair and a small goatee beard - a clever face , and yet somehow inherently despicable , with a kind of senile silliness in the long thin nose , near the end of which a pair of spectacles was perched .
  191. gold seed It resembled the face of a sheep , and the voice , too , had a sheep-like quality .
  192. gold Goldstein was delivering his usual venomous attack upon the doctrines of the Party - an attack so exaggerated and perverse that a child should have been able to see through it , and yet just plausible enough to fill one with an alarmed feeling that other people , less level-headed than oneself , might be taken in by it .
  193. gold seed He was abusing Big Brother , he was denouncing the dictatorship of the Party , he was demanding the immediate conclusion of peace with Eurasia , he was advocating freedom of speech , freedom of the Press , freedom of assembly , freedom of thought , he was crying hysterically that the revolution had been betrayed - and all this in rapid polysyllabic speech which was a sort of parody of the habitual style of the orators of the Party , and even contained Newspeak words : more Newspeak words , indeed , than any Party member would normally use in real life .
  194. gold And all the while , lest one should be in any doubt as to the reality which Goldstein 's specious claptrap covered , behind his head on the telescreen there marched the endless columns of the Eurasian army - row after row of solid-looking men with expressionless Asiatic faces , who swam up to the surface of the screen and vanished , to be replaced by others exactly similar .
  195. gold The dull rhythmic tramp of the soldiers ' boots formed the background to Goldstein 's bleating voice .
  196. gold Before the Hate had proceeded for thirty seconds , uncontrollable exclamations of rage were breaking out from half the people in the room .
  197. gold The self-satisfied sheep-like face on the screen , and the terrifying power of the Eurasian army behind it , were too much to be borne : besides , the sight or even the thought of Goldstein produced fear and anger automatically .
  198. gold He was an object of hatred more constant than either Eurasia or Eastasia , since when Oceania was at war with one of these Powers it was generally at peace with the other .
  199. gold But what was strange was that although Goldstein was hated and despised by everybody , although every day and a thousand times a day , on platforms , on the telescreen , in newspapers , in books , his theories were refuted , smashed , ridiculed , held up to the general gaze for the pitiful rubbish that they were in spite of all this , his influence never seemed to grow less .
  200. gold seed Always there were fresh dupes waiting to be seduced by him .
  201. gold A day never passed when spies and saboteurs acting under his directions were not unmasked by the Thought Police .
  202. gold seed He was the commander of a vast shadowy army , an underground network of conspirators dedicated to the overthrow of the State .
  203. gold seed The Brotherhood , its name was supposed to be .
  204. gold There were also whispered stories of a terrible book , a compendium of all the heresies , of which Goldstein was the author and which circulated clandestinely here and there .
  205. gold future-seed It was a book without a title .
  206. gold seed People referred to it , if at all , simply as the book .
  207. gold But one knew of such things only through vague rumours .
  208. gold Neither the Brotherhood nor the book was a subject that any ordinary Party member would mention if there was a way of avoiding it .
  209. gold In its second minute the Hate rose to a frenzy .
  210. gold People were leaping up and down in their places and shouting at the tops of their voices in an effort to drown the maddening bleating voice that came from the screen .
  211. gold The little sandy-haired woman had turned bright pink , and her mouth was opening and shutting like that of a landed fish .
  212. gold Even O'Brien 's heavy face was flushed .
  213. gold seed He was sitting very straight in his chair , his powerful chest swelling and quivering as though he were standing up to the assault of a wave .
  214. gold seed The dark-haired girl behind Winston had begun crying out `` Swine ! Swine ! Swine ! '' and suddenly she picked up a heavy Newspeak dictionary and flung it at the screen .
  215. gold seed It struck Goldstein 's nose and bounced off ; the voice continued inexorably .
  216. gold seed In a lucid moment Winston found that he was shouting with the others and kicking his heel violently against the rung of his chair .
  217. gold seed The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that one was obliged to act a part , but , on the contrary , that it was impossible to avoid joining in .
  218. gold Within thirty seconds any pretence was always unnecessary .
  219. gold A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness , a desire to kill , to torture , to smash faces in with a sledge-hammer , seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current , turning one even against one 's will into a grimacing , screaming lunatic .
  220. gold And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract , undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blowlamp .
  221. gold Thus , at one moment Winston 's hatred was not turned against Goldstein at all , but , on the contrary , against Big Brother , the Party , and the Thought Police ; and at such moments his heart went out to the lonely , derided heretic on the screen , sole guardian of truth and sanity in a world of lies .
  222. gold And yet the very next instant he was at one with the people about him , and all that was said of Goldstein seemed to him to be true .
  223. gold At those moments his secret loathing of Big Brother changed into adoration , and Big Brother seemed to tower up , an invincible , fearless protector , standing like a rock against the hordes of Asia , and Goldstein , in spite of his isolation , his helplessness , and the doubt that hung about his very existence , seemed like some sinister enchanter , capable by the mere power of his voice of wrecking the structure of civilization .
  224. gold It was even possible , at moments , to switch one 's hatred this way or that by a voluntary act .
  225. gold future-seed Suddenly , by the sort of violent effort with which one wrenches one 's head away from the pillow in a nightmare , Winston succeeded in transferring his hatred from the face on the screen to the dark-haired girl behind him .
  226. gold Vivid , beautiful hallucinations flashed through his mind .
  227. gold future-seed He would flog her to death with a rubber truncheon .
  228. gold seed He would tie her naked to a stake and shoot her full of arrows like Saint Sebastian .
  229. gold seed He would ravish her and cut her throat at the moment of climax .
  230. gold future-seed Better than before , moreover , he realized why it was that he hated her .
  231. gold future-seed He hated her because she was young and pretty and sexless , because he wanted to go to bed with her and would never do so , because round her sweet supple waist , which seemed to ask you to encircle it with your arm , there was only the odious scarlet sash , aggressive symbol of chastity .
  232. gold seed The Hate rose to its climax .
  233. gold The voice of Goldstein had become an actual sheep 's bleat , and for an instant the face changed into that of a sheep .
  234. gold Then the sheep-face melted into the figure of a Eurasian soldier who seemed to be advancing , huge and terrible , his sub-machine gun roaring , and seeming to spring out of the surface of the screen , so that some of the people in the front row actually flinched backwards in their seats .
  235. gold But in the same moment , drawing a deep sigh of relief from everybody , the hostile figure melted into the face of Big Brother , black-haired , blackmoustachio'd , full of power and mysterious calm , and so vast that it almost filled up the screen .
  236. gold Nobody heard what Big Brother was saying .
  237. gold It was merely a few words of encouragement , the sort of words that are uttered in the din of battle , not distinguishable individually but restoring confidence by the fact of being spoken .
  238. gold Then the face of Big Brother faded away again , and instead the three slogans of the Party stood out in bold capitals : `` War is peace '' `` Freedom is slavery '' `` Ignorance is strength . ''
  239. gold But the face of Big Brother seemed to persist for several seconds on the screen , as though the impact that it had made on everyone 's eyeballs was too vivid to wear off immediately .
  240. gold The little sandyhaired woman had flung herself forward over the back of the chair in front of her .
  241. gold With a tremulous murmur that sounded like `` My Saviour ! '' she extended her arms towards the screen .
  242. gold Then she buried her face in her hands .
  243. gold It was apparent that she was uttering a prayer .
  244. gold seed At this moment the entire group of people broke into a deep , slow , rhythmical chant of `` B-B ! ... B-B ! ... B-B ! '' - over and over again , very slowly , with a long pause between the first B and the second - a heavy , murmurous sound , somehow curiously savage , in the background of which one seemed to hear the stamp of naked feet and the throbbing of tom-toms .
  245. gold seed For perhaps as much as thirty seconds they kept it up .
  246. gold It was a refrain that was often heard in moments of overwhelming emotion .
  247. gold Partly it was a sort of hymn to the wisdom and majesty of Big Brother , but still more it was an act of self-hypnosis , a deliberate drowning of consciousness by means of rhythmic noise .
  248. gold Winston 's entrails seemed to grow cold .
  249. gold In the Two Minutes Hate he could not help sharing in the general delirium , but this sub-human chanting of `` B-B ! ... B-B ! '' always filled him with horror .
  250. gold Of course he chanted with the rest : it was impossible to do otherwise .
  251. gold seed To dissemble your feelings , to control your face , to do what everyone else was doing , was an instinctive reaction .
  252. gold But there was a space of a couple of seconds during which the expression of his eyes might conceivably have betrayed him .
  253. gold And it was exactly at this moment that the significant thing happened - if , indeed , it did happen .
  254. gold future-seed Momentarily he caught O'Brien 's eye .
  255. gold seed O'Brien had stood up .
  256. gold He had taken off his spectacles and was in the act of resettling them on his nose with his characteristic gesture .
  257. gold future-seed But there was a fraction of a second when their eyes met , and for as long as it took to happen Winston knew - yes , he knew ! - that O'Brien was thinking the same thing as himself .
  258. gold An unmistakable message had passed .
  259. gold It was as though their two minds had opened and the thoughts were flowing from one into the other through their eyes .
  260. gold seed `` I am with you , '' O'Brien seemed to be saying to him .
  261. gold seed `` I know precisely what you are feeling . ''
  262. gold future-seed `` I know all about your contempt , your hatred , your disgust . ''
  263. gold seed `` But don't worry , I am on your side ! ''
  264. gold seed And then the flash of intelligence was gone , and O'Brien 's face was as inscrutable as everybody else 's .
  265. gold seed That was all , and he was already uncertain whether it had happened .
  266. gold Such incidents never had any sequel .
  267. gold All that they did was to keep alive in him the belief , or hope , that others besides himself were the enemies of the Party .
  268. gold seed Perhaps the rumours of vast underground conspiracies were true after all - perhaps the Brotherhood really existed !
  269. gold It was impossible , in spite of the endless arrests and confessions and executions , to be sure that the Brotherhood was not simply a myth .
  270. gold seed Some days he believed in it , some days not .
  271. gold There was no evidence , only fleeting glimpses that might mean anything or nothing : snatches of overheard conversation , faint scribbles on lavatory walls - once , even , when two strangers met , a small movement of the hand which had looked as though it might be a signal of recognition .
  272. gold It was all guesswork : very likely he had imagined everything .
  273. gold seed He had gone back to his cubicle without looking at O'Brien again .
  274. gold The idea of following up their momentary contact hardly crossed his mind .
  275. gold seed It would have been inconceivably dangerous even if he had known how to set about doing it .
  276. gold For a second , two seconds , they had exchanged an equivocal glance , and that was the end of the story .
  277. gold But even that was a memorable event , in the locked loneliness in which one had to live .
  278. gold Winston roused himself and sat up straighter .
  279. gold He let out a belch .
  280. gold future-seed The gin was rising from his stomach .
  281. gold future-seed His eyes re-focused on the page .
  282. gold He discovered that while he sat helplessly musing he had also been writing , as though by automatic action .
  283. gold And it was no longer the same cramped , awkward handwriting as before .
  284. gold His pen had slid voluptuously over the smooth paper , printing in large neat capitals `` Down with Big Brother '' `` Down with Big Brother '' `` Down with Big Brother '' `` Down with Big Brother '' `` Down with Big Brother '' over and over again , filling half a page .
  285. gold He could not help feeling a twinge of panic .
  286. gold It was absurd , since the writing of those particular words was not more dangerous than the initial act of opening the diary , but for a moment he was tempted to tear out the spoiled pages and abandon the enterprise altogether .
  287. gold He did not do so , however , because he knew that it was useless .
  288. gold Whether he wrote `` Down with Big Brother , '' or whether he refrained from writing it , made no difference .
  289. gold seed Whether he went on with the diary , or whether he did not go on with it , made no difference .
  290. gold The Thought Police would get him just the same .
  291. gold He had committed - would still have committed , even if he had never set pen to paper - the essential crime that contained all others in itself .
  292. gold Thoughtcrime , they called it .
  293. gold Thoughtcrime was not a thing that could be concealed for ever .
  294. gold You might dodge successfully for a while , even for years , but sooner or later they were bound to get you .
  295. gold It was always at night - the arrests invariably happened at night .
  296. gold seed The sudden jerk out of sleep , the rough hand shaking your shoulder , the lights glaring in your eyes , the ring of hard faces round the bed .
  297. gold seed In the vast majority of cases there was no trial , no report of the arrest .
  298. gold People simply disappeared , always during the night .
  299. gold Your name was removed from the registers , every record of everything you had ever done was wiped out , your one-time existence was denied and then forgotten .
  300. gold seed You were abolished , annihilated : vaporized was the usual word .
  301. gold seed For a moment he was seized by a kind of hysteria .
  302. gold future-seed He began writing in a hurried untidy scrawl :
  303. gold seed theyll shoot me i don't care theyll shoot me in the back of the neck i dont care down with big brother they always shoot you in the back of the neck i dont care down with big brother
  304. gold He sat back in his chair , slightly ashamed of himself , and laid down the pen .
  305. gold The next moment he started violently .
  306. gold There was a knocking at the door .
  307. gold Already !
  308. gold He sat as still as a mouse , in the futile hope that whoever it was might go away after a single attempt .
  309. gold But no , the knocking was repeated .
  310. gold The worst thing of all would be to delay .
  311. gold His heart was thumping like a drum , but his face , from long habit , was probably expressionless .
  312. gold seed He got up and moved heavily towards the door .
  313. gold As he put his hand to the door-knob Winston saw that he had left the diary open on the table .
  314. gold `` Down with Big Brother '' was written all over it , in letters almost big enough to be legible across the room .
  315. gold It was an inconceivably stupid thing to have done .
  316. gold But , he realized , even in his panic he had not wanted to smudge the creamy paper by shutting the book while the ink was wet .
  317. gold He drew in his breath and opened the door .
  318. gold Instantly a warm wave of relief flowed through him .
  319. gold A colourless , crushed-looking woman , with wispy hair and a lined face , was standing outside .
  320. gold seed `` Oh , comrade , '' she began in a dreary , whining sort of voice , `` I thought I heard you come in . ''
  321. gold seed `` Do you think you could come across and have a look at our kitchen sink ? ''
  322. gold seed `` It 's got blocked up and - ''
  323. gold It was Mrs Parsons , the wife of a neighbour on the same floor .
  324. gold seed ( Mrs was a word somewhat discountenanced by the Party - you were supposed to call everyone comrade - but with some women one used it instinctively . )
  325. gold She was a woman of about thirty , but looking much older .
  326. gold One had the impression that there was dust in the creases of her face .
  327. gold seed Winston followed her down the passage .
  328. gold These amateur repair jobs were an almost daily irritation .
  329. gold seed Victory Mansions were old flats , built in 1930 or thereabouts , and were falling to pieces .
  330. gold The plaster flaked constantly from ceilings and walls , the pipes burst in every hard frost , the roof leaked whenever there was snow , the heating system was usually running at half steam when it was not closed down altogether from motives of economy .
  331. gold seed Repairs , except what you could do for yourself , had to be sanctioned by remote committees which were liable to hold up even the mending of a window-pane for two years .
  332. gold `` Of course it 's only because Tom isn't home , '' said Mrs Parsons vaguely .
  333. gold seed The Parsons ' flat was bigger than Winston 's , and dingy in a different way .
  334. gold seed Everything had a battered , trampled-on look , as though the place had just been visited by some large violent animal .
  335. gold Games impedimenta - hockey-sticks , boxing-gloves , a burst football , a pair of sweaty shorts turned inside out - lay all over the floor , and on the table there was a litter of dirty dishes and dog-eared exercise-books .
  336. gold seed On the walls were scarlet banners of the Youth League and the Spies , and a full-sized poster of Big Brother .
  337. gold There was the usual boiled-cabbage smell , common to the whole building , but it was shot through by a sharper reek of sweat , which - one knew this at the first sniff , though it was hard to say how was the sweat of some person not present at the moment .
  338. gold In another room someone with a comb and a piece of toilet paper was trying to keep tune with the military music which was still issuing from the telescreen .
  339. gold seed `` It 's the children , '' said Mrs Parsons , casting a half-apprehensive glance at the door .
  340. gold seed `` They haven't been out today . ''
  341. gold seed `` And of course - ''
  342. gold She had a habit of breaking off her sentences in the middle .
  343. gold The kitchen sink was full nearly to the brim with filthy greenish water which smelt worse than ever of cabbage .
  344. gold Winston knelt down and examined the angle-joint of the pipe .
  345. gold seed He hated using his hands , and he hated bending down , which was always liable to start him coughing .
  346. gold future-seed Mrs Parsons looked on helplessly .
  347. gold seed `` Of course if Tom was home he 'd put it right in a moment , '' she said .
  348. gold `` He loves anything like that . ''
  349. gold seed `` He 's ever so good with his hands , Tom is . ''
  350. gold Parsons was Winston 's fellow-employee at the Ministry of Truth .
  351. gold He was a fattish but active man of paralysing stupidity , a mass of imbecile enthusiasms - one of those completely unquestioning , devoted drudges on whom , more even than on the Thought Police , the stability of the Party depended .
  352. gold At thirty-five he had just been unwillingly evicted from the Youth League , and before graduating into the Youth League he had managed to stay on in the Spies for a year beyond the statutory age .
  353. gold At the Ministry he was employed in some subordinate post for which intelligence was not required , but on the other hand he was a leading figure on the Sports Committee and all the other committees engaged in organizing community hikes , spontaneous demonstrations , savings campaigns , and voluntary activities generally .
  354. gold He would inform you with quiet pride , between whiffs of his pipe , that he had put in an appearance at the Community Centre every evening for the past four years .
  355. gold An overpowering smell of sweat , a sort of unconscious testimony to the strenuousness of his life , followed him about wherever he went , and even remained behind him after he had gone .
  356. gold `` Have you got a spanner ? ''
  357. gold said Winston , fiddling with the nut on the angle-joint .
  358. gold seed `` A spanner , '' said Mrs Parsons , immediately becoming invertebrate .
  359. gold future-seed `` I don't know , I 'm sure . ''
  360. gold future-seed `` Perhaps the children - ''
  361. gold There was a trampling of boots and another blast on the comb as the children charged into the living-room .
  362. gold seed Mrs Parsons brought the spanner .
  363. gold Winston let out the water and disgustedly removed the clot of human hair that had blocked up the pipe .
  364. gold He cleaned his fingers as best he could in the cold water from the tap and went back into the other room .
  365. gold `` Up with your hands ! '' yelled a savage voice .
  366. gold seed A handsome , tough-looking boy of nine had popped up from behind the table and was menacing him with a toy automatic pistol , while his small sister , about two years younger , made the same gesture with a fragment of wood .
  367. gold Both of them were dressed in the blue shorts , grey shirts , and red neckerchiefs which were the uniform of the Spies .
  368. gold Winston raised his hands above his head , but with an uneasy feeling , so vicious was the boy 's demeanour , that it was not altogether a game .
  369. gold `` You 're a traitor ! '' yelled the boy .
  370. gold `` You 're a thought-criminal ! ''
  371. gold `` You 're a Eurasian spy ! ''
  372. gold `` I 'll shoot you , I 'll vaporize you , I 'll send you to the salt mines ! ''
  373. gold Suddenly they were both leaping round him , shouting `` Traitor ! '' and `` Thought-criminal ! '' the little girl imitating her brother in every movement .
  374. gold It was somehow slightly frightening , like the gambolling of tiger cubs which will soon grow up into man-eaters .
  375. gold There was a sort of calculating ferocity in the boy 's eye , a quite evident desire to hit or kick Winston and a consciousness of being very nearly big enough to do so .
  376. gold It was a good job it was not a real pistol he was holding , Winston thought .
  377. gold seed Mrs Parsons ' eyes flitted nervously from Winston to the children , and back again .
  378. gold In the better light of the living-room he noticed with interest that there actually was dust in the creases of her face .
  379. gold `` They do get so noisy , '' she said .
  380. gold seed `` They 're disappointed because they couldn't go to see the hanging , that 's what it is . ''
  381. gold `` I 'm too busy to take them , and Tom won't be back from work in time . ''
  382. gold `` Why can't we go and see the hanging ? ''
  383. gold roared the boy in his huge voice .
  384. gold `` Want to see the hanging ! ''
  385. gold `` Want to see the hanging ! '' chanted the little girl , still capering round .
  386. gold Some Eurasian prisoners , guilty of war crimes , were to be hanged in the Park that evening , Winston remembered .
  387. gold seed This happened about once a month , and was a popular spectacle .
  388. gold Children always clamoured to be taken to see it .
  389. gold He took his leave of Mrs Parsons and made for the door .
  390. gold But he had not gone six steps down the passage when something hit the back of his neck an agonizingly painful blow .
  391. gold seed It was as though a red-hot wire had been jabbed into him .
  392. gold He spun round just in time to see Mrs Parsons dragging her son back into the doorway while the boy pocketed a catapult .
  393. gold `` Goldstein ! '' bellowed the boy as the door closed on him .
  394. gold But what most struck Winston was the look of helpless fright on the woman 's greyish face .
  395. gold Back in the flat he stepped quickly past the telescreen and sat down at the table again , still rubbing his neck .
  396. gold seed The music from the telescreen had stopped .
  397. gold seed Instead , a clipped military voice was reading out , with a sort of brutal relish , a description of the armaments of the new Floating Fortress which had just been anchored between Iceland and the Faroe islands .
  398. gold seed With those children , he thought , that wretched woman must lead a life of terror .
  399. gold Another year , two years , and they would be watching her night and day for symptoms of unorthodoxy .
  400. gold seed Nearly all children nowadays were horrible .
  401. gold What was worst of all was that by means of such organizations as the Spies they were systematically turned into ungovernable little savages , and yet this produced in them no tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Party .
  402. gold On the contrary , they adored the Party and everything connected with it .
  403. gold The songs , the processions , the banners , the hiking , the drilling with dummy rifles , the yelling of slogans , the worship of Big Brother - it was all a sort of glorious game to them .
  404. gold All their ferocity was turned outwards , against the enemies of the State , against foreigners , traitors , saboteurs , thought-criminals .
  405. gold It was almost normal for people over thirty to be frightened of their own children .
  406. gold And with good reason , for hardly a week passed in which the Times did not carry a paragraph describing how some eavesdropping little sneak - child hero was the phrase generally used - had overheard some compromising remark and denounced its parents to the Thought Police .
  407. gold The sting of the catapult bullet had worn off .
  408. gold He picked up his pen half-heartedly , wondering whether he could find something more to write in the diary .
  409. gold seed Suddenly he began thinking of O'Brien again .
  410. gold Years ago - how long was it ?
  411. gold Seven years it must be - he had dreamed that he was walking through a pitch-dark room .
  412. gold And someone sitting to one side of him had said as he passed : `` We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness . ''
  413. gold seed It was said very quietly , almost casually - a statement , not a command .
  414. gold He had walked on without pausing .
  415. gold What was curious was that at the time , in the dream , the words had not made much impression on him .
  416. gold It was only later and by degrees that they had seemed to take on significance .
  417. gold He could not now remember whether it was before or after having the dream that he had seen O'Brien for the first time , nor could he remember when he had first identified the voice as O'Brien 's .
  418. gold seed But at any rate the identification existed .
  419. gold It was O'Brien who had spoken to him out of the dark .
  420. gold Winston had never been able to feel sure - even after this morning 's flash of the eyes it was still impossible to be sure whether O'Brien was a friend or an enemy .
  421. gold Nor did it even seem to matter greatly .
  422. gold There was a link of understanding between them , more important than affection or partisanship .
  423. gold `` We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness , '' he had said .
  424. gold Winston did not know what it meant , only that in some way or another it would come true .
  425. gold The voice from the telescreen paused .
  426. gold A trumpet call , clear and beautiful , floated into the stagnant air .
  427. gold The voice continued raspingly :
  428. gold seed Attention !
  429. gold seed Your attention , please !
  430. gold A newsflash has this moment arrived from the Malabar front .
  431. gold Our forces in South India have won a glorious victory .
  432. gold I am authorized to say that the action we are now reporting may well bring the war within measurable distance of its end .
  433. gold Here is the newsflash -
  434. gold Bad news coming , thought Winston .
  435. gold And sure enough , following on a gory description of the annihilation of a Eurasian army , with stupendous figures of killed and prisoners , came the announcement that , as from next week , the chocolate ration would be reduced from thirty grammes to twenty .
  436. gold Winston belched again .
  437. gold seed The gin was wearing off , leaving a deflated feeling .
  438. gold The telescreen - perhaps to celebrate the victory , perhaps to drown the memory of the lost chocolate - crashed into Oceania , 't is for thee .
  439. gold You were supposed to stand to attention .
  440. gold However , in his present position he was invisible .
  441. gold Oceania , 't is for thee gave way to lighter music .
  442. gold Winston walked over to the window , keeping his back to the telescreen .
  443. gold The day was still cold and clear .
  444. gold Somewhere far away a rocket bomb exploded with a dull , reverberating roar .
  445. gold seed About twenty or thirty of them a week were falling on London at present .
  446. gold Down in the street the wind flapped the torn poster to and fro , and the word Ingsoc fitfully appeared and vanished .
  447. gold Ingsoc .
  448. gold The sacred principles of Ingsoc .
  449. gold Newspeak , doublethink , the mutability of the past .
  450. gold He felt as though he were wandering in the forests of the sea bottom , lost in a monstrous world where he himself was the monster .
  451. gold He was alone .
  452. gold seed The past was dead , the future was unimaginable .
  453. gold seed What certainty had he that a single human creature now living was on his side ?
  454. gold And what way of knowing that the dominion of the Party would not endure for ever ?
  455. gold Like an answer , the three slogans on the white face of the Ministry of Truth came back to him : `` War is peace '' `` Freedom is slavery '' `` Ignorance is strength '' He took a twenty-five cent piece out of his pocket .
  456. gold There , too , in tiny clear lettering , the same slogans were inscribed , and on the other face of the coin the head of Big Brother .
  457. gold Even from the coin the eyes pursued you .
  458. gold On coins , on stamps , on the covers of books , on banners , on posters , and on the wrappings of a cigarette Packet - everywhere .
  459. gold Always the eyes watching you and the voice enveloping you .
  460. gold seed Asleep or awake , working or eating , indoors or out of doors , in the bath or in bed - no escape .
  461. gold Nothing was your own except the few cubic centimetres inside your skull .
  462. gold The sun had shifted round , and the myriad windows of the Ministry of Truth , with the light no longer shining on them , looked grim as the loopholes of a fortress .
  463. gold His heart quailed before the enormous pyramidal shape .
  464. gold It was too strong , it could not be stormed .
  465. gold A thousand rocket bombs would not batter it down .
  466. gold He wondered again for whom he was writing the diary .
  467. gold seed For the future , for the past - for an age that might be imaginary .
  468. gold And in front of him there lay not death but annihilation .
  469. gold The diary would be reduced to ashes and himself to vapour .
  470. gold seed Only the Thought Police would read what he had written , before they wiped it out of existence and out of memory .
  471. gold How could you make appeal to the future when not a trace of you , not even an anonymous word scribbled on a piece of paper , could physically survive ?
  472. gold The telescreen struck fourteen .
  473. gold He must leave in ten minutes .
  474. gold He had to be back at work by fourteen-thirty .
  475. gold Curiously , the chiming of the hour seemed to have put new heart into him .
  476. gold He was a lonely ghost uttering a truth that nobody would ever hear .
  477. gold But so long as he uttered it , in some obscure way the continuity was not broken .
  478. gold It was not by making yourself heard but by staying sane that you carried on the human heritage .
  479. gold He went back to the table , dipped his pen , and wrote :
  480. gold To the future or to the past , to a time when thought is free , when men are different from one another and do not live alone - to a time when truth exists and what is done cannot be undone :
  481. gold From the age of uniformity , from the age of solitude , from the age of Big Brother , from the age of doublethink - greetings !
  482. gold seed He was already dead , he reflected .
  483. gold It seemed to him that it was only now , when he had begun to be able to formulate his thoughts , that he had taken the decisive step .
  484. gold seed The consequences of every act are included in the act itself .
  485. gold He wrote :
  486. gold Thoughtcrime does not entail death : thoughtcrime is death .
  487. gold Now he had recognized himself as a dead man it became important to stay alive as long as possible .
  488. gold seed Two fingers of his right hand were inkstained .
  489. gold future-seed It was exactly the kind of detail that might betray you .
  490. gold Some nosing zealot in the Ministry ( a woman , probably : someone like the little sandy-haired woman or the dark-haired girl from the Fiction Department ) might start wondering why he had been writing during the lunch interval , why he had used an oldfashioned pen , what he had been writing - and then drop a hint in the appropriate quarter .
  491. gold He went to the bathroom and carefully scrubbed the ink away with the gritty dark-brown soap which rasped your skin like sandpaper and was therefore well adapted for this purpose .
  492. gold He put the diary away in the drawer .
  493. gold seed It was quite useless to think of hiding it , but he could at least make sure whether or not its existence had been discovered .
  494. gold A hair laid across the page-ends was too obvious .
  495. gold With the tip of his finger he picked up an identifiable grain of whitish dust and deposited it on the corner of the cover , where it was bound to be shaken off if the book was moved .
  496. gold Winston was dreaming of his mother .
  497. gold He must , he thought , have been ten or eleven years old when his mother had disappeared .
  498. gold She was a tall , statuesque , rather silent woman with slow movements and magnificent fair hair .
  499. gold His father he remembered more vaguely as dark and thin , dressed always in neat dark clothes ( Winston remembered especially the very thin soles of his father 's shoes ) and wearing spectacles .
  500. gold The two of them must evidently have been swallowed up in one of the first great purges of the fifties .
  501. gold At this moment his mother was sitting in some place deep down beneath him , with his young sister in her arms .
  502. gold He did not remember his sister at all , except as a tiny , feeble baby , always silent , with large , watchful eyes .
  503. gold Both of them were looking up at him .
  504. gold They were down in some subterranean place - the bottom of a well , for instance , or a very deep grave - but it was a place which , already far below him , was itself moving downwards .
  505. gold seed They were in the saloon of a sinking ship , looking up at him through the darkening water .
  506. gold There was still air in the saloon , they could still see him and he them , but all the while they were sinking down , down into the green waters which in another moment must hide them from sight for ever .
  507. gold He was out in the light and air while they were being sucked down to death , and they were down there because he was up here .
  508. gold He knew it and they knew it , and he could see the knowledge in their faces .
  509. gold There was no reproach either in their faces or in their hearts , only the knowledge that they must die in order that he might remain alive , and that this was part of the unavoidable order of things .
  510. gold He could not remember what had happened , but he knew in his dream that in some way the lives of his mother and his sister had been sacrificed to his own .
  511. gold It was one of those dreams which , while retaining the characteristic dream scenery , are a continuation of one 's intellectual life , and in which one becomes aware of facts and ideas which still seem new and valuable after one is awake .
  512. gold The thing that now suddenly struck Winston was that his mother 's death , nearly thirty years ago , had been tragic and sorrowful in a way that was no longer possible .
  513. gold Tragedy , he perceived , belonged to the ancient time , to a time when there was still privacy , love , and friendship , and when the members of a family stood by one another without needing to know the reason .
  514. gold His mother 's memory tore at his heart because she had died loving him , when he was too young and selfish to love her in return , and because somehow , he did not remember how , she had sacrificed herself to a conception of loyalty that was private and unalterable .
  515. gold Such things , he saw , could not happen today .
  516. gold seed Today there were fear , hatred , and pain , but no dignity of emotion , no deep or complex sorrows .
  517. gold seed All this he seemed to see in the large eyes of his mother and his sister , looking up at him through the green water , hundreds of fathoms down and still sinking .
  518. gold Suddenly he was standing on short springy turf , on a summer evening when the slanting rays of the sun gilded the ground .
  519. gold The landscape that he was looking at recurred so often in his dreams that he was never fully certain whether or not he had seen it in the real world .
  520. gold In his waking thoughts he called it the Golden Country .
  521. gold It was an old , rabbit-bitten pasture , with a foot-track wandering across it and a molehill here and there .
  522. gold In the ragged hedge on the opposite side of the field the boughs of the elm trees were swaying very faintly in the breeze , their leaves just stirring in dense masses like women 's hair .
  523. gold Somewhere near at hand , though out of sight , there was a clear , slow-moving stream where dace were swimming in the pools under the willow trees .
  524. gold The girl with dark hair was coming towards them across the field .
  525. gold seed With what seemed a single movement she tore off her clothes and flung them disdainfully aside .
  526. gold seed Her body was white and smooth , but it aroused no desire in him , indeed he barely looked at it .
  527. gold What overwhelmed him in that instant was admiration for the gesture with which she had thrown her clothes aside .
  528. gold With its grace and carelessness it seemed to annihilate a whole culture , a whole system of thought , as though Big Brother and the Party and the Thought Police could all be swept into nothingness by a single splendid movement of the arm .
  529. gold That too was a gesture belonging to the ancient time .
  530. gold seed Winston woke up with the word Shakespeare on his lips .
  531. gold The telescreen was giving forth an ear-splitting whistle which continued on the same note for thirty seconds .
  532. gold seed It was nought seven fifteen , getting-up time for office workers .
  533. gold seed Winston wrenched his body out of bed - naked , for a member of the Outer Party received only 3,000 clothing coupons annually , and a suit of pyjamas was 600 - and seized a dingy singlet and a pair of shorts that were lying across a chair .
  534. gold The Physical Jerks would begin in three minutes .
  535. gold The next moment he was doubled up by a violent coughing fit which nearly always attacked him soon after waking up .
  536. gold It emptied his lungs so completely that he could only begin breathing again by lying on his back and taking a series of deep gasps .
  537. gold His veins had swelled with the effort of the cough , and the varicose ulcer had started itching .
  538. gold `` Thirty to forty group ! '' yapped a piercing female voice .
  539. gold `` Thirty to forty group ! ''
  540. gold `` Take your places , please . ''
  541. gold seed `` Thirties to forties ! ''
  542. gold Winston sprang to attention in front of the telescreen , upon which the image of a youngish woman , scrawny but muscular , dressed in tunic and gym-shoes , had already appeared .
  543. gold seed `` Arms bending and stretching ! '' she rapped out .
  544. gold future-seed `` Take your time by me . ''
  545. gold future-seed `` One , two , three , four ! ''
  546. gold `` One , two , three , four ! ''
  547. gold `` Come on , comrades , put a bit of life into it ! ''
  548. gold seed `` One , two , three four ! ''
  549. gold future-seed `` One two , three , four ! ... ''
  550. gold The pain of the coughing fit had not quite driven out of Winston 's mind the impression made by his dream , and the rhythmic movements of the exercise restored it somewhat .
  551. gold seed As he mechanically shot his arms back and forth , wearing on his face the look of grim enjoyment which was considered proper during the Physical Jerks , he was struggling to think his way backward into the dim period of his early childhood .
  552. gold It was extraordinarily difficult .
  553. gold Beyond the late fifties everything faded .
  554. gold When there were no external records that you could refer to , even the outline of your own life lost its sharpness .
  555. gold You remembered huge events which had quite probably not happened , you remembered the detail of incidents without being able to recapture their atmosphere , and there were long blank periods to which you could assign nothing .
  556. gold Everything had been different then .
  557. gold Even the names of countries , and their shapes on the map , had been different .
  558. gold Airstrip One , for instance , had not been so called in those days : it had been called England or Britain , though London , he felt fairly certain , had always been called London .
  559. gold Winston could not definitely remember a time when his country had not been at war , but it was evident that there had been a fairly long interval of peace during his childhood , because one of his early memories was of an air raid which appeared to take everyone by surprise .
  560. gold seed Perhaps it was the time when the atomic bomb had fallen on Colchester .
  561. gold He did not remember the raid itself , but he did remember his father 's hand clutching his own as they hurried down , down , down into some place deep in the earth , round and round a spiral staircase which rang under his feet and which finally so wearied his legs that he began whimpering and they had to stop and rest .
  562. gold seed His mother , in her slow , dreamy way , was following a long way behind them .
  563. gold seed She was carrying his baby sister - or perhaps it was only a bundle of blankets that she was carrying : he was not certain whether his sister had been born then .
  564. gold seed Finally they had emerged into a noisy , crowded place which he had realized to be a Tube station .
  565. gold There were people sitting all over the stone-flagged floor , and other people , packed tightly together , were sitting on metal bunks , one above the other .
  566. gold Winston and his mother and father found themselves a place on the floor , and near them an old man and an old woman were sitting side by side on a bunk .
  567. gold seed The old man had on a decent dark suit and a black cloth cap pushed back from very white hair : his face was scarlet and his eyes were blue and full of tears .
  568. gold He reeked of gin .
  569. gold It seemed to breathe out of his skin in place of sweat , and one could have fancied that the tears welling from his eyes were pure gin .
  570. gold But though slightly drunk he was also suffering under some grief that was genuine and unbearable .
  571. gold seed In his childish way Winston grasped that some terrible thing , something that was beyond forgiveness and could never be remedied , had just happened .
  572. gold It also seemed to him that he knew what it was .
  573. gold seed Someone whom the old man loved - a little granddaughter , perhaps had been killed .
  574. gold seed Every few minutes the old man kept repeating :
  575. gold `` We didn't ought to 'ave trusted 'em . ''
  576. gold `` I said so , Ma , didn't I ? ''
  577. gold `` That 's what comes of trusting 'em . ''
  578. gold `` I said so all along . ''
  579. gold `` We didn't ought to 'ave trusted the buggers . ''
  580. gold But which buggers they didn't ought to have trusted Winston could not now remember .
  581. gold Since about that time , war had been literally continuous , though strictly speaking it had not always been the same war .
  582. gold For several months during his childhood there had been confused street fighting in London itself , some of which he remembered vividly .
  583. gold But to trace out the history of the whole period , to say who was fighting whom at any given moment , would have been utterly impossible , since no written record , and no spoken word , ever made mention of any other alignment than the existing one .
  584. gold seed At this moment , for example , in 1984 ( if it was 1984 ) , Oceania was at war with Eurasia and in alliance with Eastasia .
  585. gold In no public or private utterance was it ever admitted that the three powers had at any time been grouped along different lines .
  586. gold Actually , as Winston well knew , it was only four years since Oceania had been at war with Eastasia and in alliance with Eurasia .
  587. gold But that was merely a piece of furtive knowledge which he happened to possess because his memory was not satisfactorily under control .
  588. gold Officially the change of partners had never happened .
  589. gold Oceania was at war with Eurasia : therefore Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia .
  590. gold The enemy of the moment always represented absolute evil , and it followed that any past or future agreement with him was impossible .
  591. gold The frightening thing , he reflected for the ten thousandth time as he forced his shoulders painfully backward ( with hands on hips , they were gyrating their bodies from the waist , an exercise that was supposed to be good for the back muscles ) - the frightening thing was that it might all be true .
  592. gold If the Party could thrust its hand into the past and say of this or that event , `` it never happened '' - that , surely , was more terrifying than mere torture and death ?
  593. gold The Party said that Oceania had never been in alliance with Eurasia .
  594. gold seed He , Winston Smith , knew that Oceania had been in alliance with Eurasia as short a time as four years ago .
  595. gold But where did that knowledge exist ?
  596. gold Only in his own consciousness , which in any case must soon be annihilated .
  597. gold And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed - if all records told the same tale - then the lie passed into history and became truth .
  598. gold seed `` Who controls the past , '' ran the Party slogan , `` controls the future : who controls the present controls the past . ''
  599. gold And yet the past , though of its nature alterable , never had been altered .
  600. gold Whatever was true now was true from everlasting to everlasting .
  601. gold It was quite simple .
  602. gold seed All that was needed was an unending series of victories over your own memory .
  603. gold Reality control , they called it : in Newspeak , doublethink
  604. gold seed `` Stand easy ! '' barked the instructress , a little more genially .
  605. gold seed Winston sank his arms to his sides and slowly refilled his lungs with air .
  606. gold His mind slid away into the labyrinthine world of doublethink .
  607. gold seed To know and not to know , to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies , to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out , knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them , to use logic against logic , to repudiate morality while laying claim to it , to believe that democracy was impossible and that the Party was the guardian of democracy , to forget whatever it was necessary to forget , then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when it was needed , and then promptly to forget it again : and above all , to apply the same process to the process itself .
  608. gold future-seed That was the ultimate subtlety : consciously to induce unconsciousness , and then , once again , to become unconscious of the act of hypnosis you had just performed .
  609. gold Even to understand the word doublethink involved the use of doublethink .
  610. gold seed The instructress had called them to attention again .
  611. gold `` And now let 's see which of us can touch our toes ! '' she said enthusiastically .
  612. gold `` Right over from the hips , please , comrades . ''
  613. gold seed `` One-two ! ''
  614. gold `` One-two ! ... ''
  615. gold seed Winston loathed this exercise , which sent shooting pains all the way from his heels to his buttocks and often ended by bringing on another coughing fit .
  616. gold The half-pleasant quality went out of his meditations .
  617. gold The past , he reflected , had not merely been altered , it had been actually destroyed .
  618. gold For how could you establish even the most obvious fact when there existed no record outside your own memory ?
  619. gold He tried to remember in what year he had first heard mention of Big Brother .
  620. gold He thought it must have been at some time in the sixties , but it was impossible to be certain .
  621. gold In the Party histories , of course , Big Brother figured as the leader and guardian of the Revolution since its very earliest days .
  622. gold His exploits had been gradually pushed backwards in time until already they extended into the fabulous world of the forties and the thirties , when the capitalists in their strange cylindrical hats still rode through the streets of London in great gleaming motor-cars or horse carriages with glass sides .
  623. gold seed There was no knowing how much of this legend was true and how much invented .
  624. gold Winston could not even remember at what date the Party itself had come into existence .
  625. gold He did not believe he had ever heard the word Ingsoc before 1960 , but it was possible that in its Oldspeak form - English Socialism , that is to say - it had been current earlier .
  626. gold Everything melted into mist .
  627. gold Sometimes , indeed , you could put your finger on a definite lie .
  628. gold seed It was not true , for example , as was claimed in the Party history books , that the Party had invented aeroplanes .
  629. gold seed He remembered aeroplanes since his earliest childhood .
  630. gold But you could prove nothing .
  631. gold There was never any evidence .
  632. gold Just once in his whole life he had held in his hands unmistakable documentary proof of the falsification of an historical fact .
  633. gold And on that occasion -
  634. gold seed `` Smith ! '' screamed the shrewish voice from the telescreen , `` 6079 Smith W. ! ''
  635. gold `` Yes , you ! ''
  636. gold `` Bend lower , please ! ''
  637. gold seed `` You can do better than that . ''
  638. gold `` You 're not trying . ''
  639. gold `` Lower , please ! ''
  640. gold `` That 's better , comrade . ''
  641. gold `` Now stand at ease , the whole squad , and watch me . ''
  642. gold seed A sudden hot sweat had broken out all over Winston 's body .
  643. gold seed His face remained completely inscrutable .
  644. gold future-seed Never show dismay !
  645. gold future-seed Never show resentment !
  646. gold A single flicker of the eyes could give you away .
  647. gold He stood watching while the instructress raised her arms above her head and - one could not say gracefully , but with remarkable neatness and efficiency - bent over and tucked the first joint of her fingers under her toes .
  648. gold `` There , comrades ! ''
  649. gold `` That 's how I want to see you doing it . ''
  650. gold `` Watch me again . ''
  651. gold `` I 'm thirty-nine and I 've had four children . ''
  652. gold seed `` Now look . ''
  653. gold seed She bent over again .
  654. gold `` You see my knees aren't bent . ''
  655. gold `` You can all do it if you want to , '' she added as she straightened herself up .
  656. gold `` Anyone under forty-five is perfectly capable of touching his toes . ''
  657. gold `` We don't all have the privilege of fighting in the front line , but at least we can all keep fit . ''
  658. gold seed `` Remember our boys on the Malabar front ! ''
  659. gold future-seed `` And the sailors in the Floating Fortresses ! ''
  660. gold seed `` Just think what they have to put up with . ''
  661. gold `` Now try again . ''
  662. gold `` That 's better , comrade , that 's much better , '' she added encouragingly as Winston , with a violent lunge , succeeded in touching his toes with knees unbent , for the first time in several years .
  663. gold With the deep , unconscious sigh which not even the nearness of the telescreen could prevent him from uttering when his day 's work started , Winston pulled the speakwrite towards him , blew the dust from its mouthpiece , and put on his spectacles .
  664. gold Then he unrolled and clipped together four small cylinders of paper which had already flopped out of the pneumatic tube on the right-hand side of his desk .
  665. gold In the walls of the cubicle there were three orifices .
  666. gold seed To the right of the speakwrite , a small pneumatic tube for written messages , to the left , a larger one for newspapers ; and in the side wall , within easy reach of Winston 's arm , a large oblong slit protected by a wire grating .
  667. gold This last was for the disposal of waste paper .
  668. gold Similar slits existed in thousands or tens of thousands throughout the building , not only in every room but at short intervals in every corridor .
  669. gold For some reason they were nicknamed memory holes .
  670. gold When one knew that any document was due for destruction , or even when one saw a scrap of waste paper lying about , it was an automatic action to lift the flap of the nearest memory hole and drop it in , whereupon it would be whirled away on a current of warm air to the enormous furnaces which were hidden somewhere in the recesses of the building .
  671. gold seed Winston examined the four slips of paper which he had unrolled .
  672. gold seed Each contained a message of only one or two lines , in the abbreviated jargon - not actually Newspeak , but consisting largely of Newspeak words - which was used in the Ministry for internal purposes .
  673. gold seed They ran :
  674. gold seed times 17.3.84 bb speech malreported africa rectify
  675. gold seed times 19.12.83 forecasts 3 yp 4th quarter 83 misprints verify current issue
  676. gold seed times 14.2.84 miniplenty malquoted chocolate rectify
  677. gold seed times 3.12.83 reporting bb dayorder doubleplusungood refs unpersons rewrite fullwise upsub antefiling .
  678. gold With a faint feeling of satisfaction Winston laid the fourth message aside .
  679. gold It was an intricate and responsible job and had better be dealt with last .
  680. gold The other three were routine matters , though the second one would probably mean some tedious wading through lists of figures .
  681. gold Winston dialled back numbers on the telescreen and called for the appropriate issues of the Times , which slid out of the pneumatic tube after only a few minutes ' delay .
  682. gold The messages he had received referred to articles or news items which for one reason or another it was thought necessary to alter , or , as the official phrase had it , to rectify .
  683. gold For example , it appeared from the Times of the seventeenth of March that Big Brother , in his speech of the previous day , had predicted that the South Indian front would remain quiet but that a Eurasian offensive would shortly be launched in North Africa .
  684. gold As it happened , the Eurasian Higher Command had launched its offensive in South India and left North Africa alone .
  685. gold It was therefore necessary to rewrite a paragraph of Big Brother 's speech , in such a way as to make him predict the thing that had actually happened .
  686. gold Or again , the Times of the nineteenth of December had published the official forecasts of the output of various classes of consumption goods in the fourth quarter of 1983 , which was also the sixth quarter of the Ninth Three-Year Plan .
  687. gold Today 's issue contained a statement of the actual output , from which it appeared that the forecasts were in every instance grossly wrong .
  688. gold Winston 's job was to rectify the original figures by making them agree with the later ones .
  689. gold As for the third message , it referred to a very simple error which could be set right in a couple of minutes .
  690. gold As short a time ago as February , the Ministry of Plenty had issued a promise ( a categorical pledge were the official words ) that there would be no reduction of the chocolate ration during 1984 .
  691. gold Actually , as Winston was aware , the chocolate ration was to be reduced from thirty grammes to twenty at the end of the present week .
  692. gold All that was needed was to substitute for the original promise a warning that it would probably be necessary to reduce the ration at some time in April .
  693. gold As soon as Winston had dealt with each of the messages , he clipped his speakwritten corrections to the appropriate copy of the Times and pushed them into the pneumatic tube .
  694. gold Then , with a movement which was as nearly as possible unconscious , he crumpled up the original message and any notes that he himself had made , and dropped them into the memory hole to be devoured by the flames .
  695. gold What happened in the unseen labyrinth to which the pneumatic tubes led , he did not know in detail , but he did know in general terms .
  696. gold As soon as all the corrections which happened to be necessary in any particular number of the Times had been assembled and collated , that number would be reprinted , the original copy destroyed , and the corrected copy placed on the files in its stead .
  697. gold This process of continuous alteration was applied not only to newspapers , but to books , periodicals , pamphlets , posters , leaflets , films , sound-tracks , cartoons , photographs - to every kind of literature or documentation which might conceivably hold any political or ideological significance .
  698. gold seed Day by day and almost minute by minute the past was brought up to date .
  699. gold In this way every prediction made by the Party could be shown by documentary evidence to have been correct , nor was any item of news , or any expression of opinion , which conflicted with the needs of the moment , ever allowed to remain on record .
  700. gold All history was a palimpsest , scraped clean and reinscribed exactly as often as was necessary .
  701. gold In no case would it have been possible , once the deed was done , to prove that any falsification had taken place .
  702. gold The largest section of the Records Department , far larger than the one on which Winston worked , consisted simply of persons whose duty it was to track down and collect all copies of books , newspapers , and other documents which had been superseded and were due for destruction .
  703. gold seed A number of the Times which might , because of changes in political alignment , or mistaken prophecies uttered by Big Brother , have been rewritten a dozen times still stood on the files bearing its original date , and no other copy existed to contradict it .
  704. gold Books , also , were recalled and rewritten again and again , and were invariably reissued without any admission that any alteration had been made .
  705. gold Even the written instructions which Winston received , and which he invariably got rid of as soon as he had dealt with them , never stated or implied that an act of forgery was to be committed : always the reference was to slips , errors , misprints , or misquotations which it was necessary to put right in the interests of accuracy .
  706. gold seed But actually , he thought as he re-adjusted the Ministry of Plenty 's figures , it was not even forgery .
  707. gold seed It was merely the substitution of one piece of nonsense for another .
  708. gold Most of the material that you were dealing with had no connexion with anything in the real world , not even the kind of connexion that is contained in a direct lie .
  709. gold Statistics were just as much a fantasy in their original version as in their rectified version .
  710. gold A great deal of the time you were expected to make them up out of your head .
  711. gold For example , the Ministry of Plenty 's forecast had estimated the output of boots for the quarter at 145 million pairs .
  712. gold The actual output was given as sixty-two millions .
  713. gold seed Winston , however , in rewriting the forecast , marked the figure down to fifty-seven millions , so as to allow for the usual claim that the quota had been overfulfilled .
  714. gold seed In any case , sixty-two millions was no nearer the truth than fiftyseven millions , or than 145 millions .
  715. gold seed Very likely no boots had been produced at all .
  716. gold Likelier still , nobody knew how many had been produced , much less cared .
  717. gold All one knew was that every quarter astronomical numbers of boots were produced on paper , while perhaps half the population of Oceania went barefoot .
  718. gold And so it was with every class of recorded fact , great or small .
  719. gold Everything faded away into a shadow-world in which , finally , even the date of the year had become uncertain .
  720. gold Winston glanced across the hall .
  721. gold seed In the corresponding cubicle on the other side a small , precise-looking , dark-chinned man named Tillotson was working steadily away , with a folded newspaper on his knee and his mouth very close to the mouthpiece of the speakwrite .
  722. gold He had the air of trying to keep what he was saying a secret between himself and the telescreen .
  723. gold He looked up , and his spectacles darted a hostile flash in Winston 's direction .
  724. gold Winston hardly knew Tillotson , and had no idea what work he was employed on .
  725. gold People in the Records Department did not readily talk about their jobs .
  726. gold In the long , windowless hall , with its double row of cubicles and its endless rustle of papers and hum of voices murmuring into speakwrites , there were quite a dozen people whom Winston did not even know by name , though he daily saw them hurrying to and fro in the corridors or gesticulating in the Two Minutes Hate .
  727. gold He knew that in the cubicle next to him the little woman with sandy hair toiled day in day out , simply at tracking down and deleting from the Press the names of people who had been vaporized and were therefore considered never to have existed .
  728. gold There was a certain fitness in this , since her own husband had been vaporized a couple of years earlier .
  729. gold And a few cubicles away a mild , ineffectual , dreamy creature named Ampleforth , with very hairy ears and a surprising talent for juggling with rhymes and metres , was engaged in producing garbled versions - definitive texts , they were called - of poems which had become ideologically offensive , but which for one reason or another were to be retained in the anthologies .
  730. gold And this hall , with its fifty workers or thereabouts , was only one sub-section , a single cell , as it were , in the huge complexity of the Records Department .
  731. gold seed Beyond , above , below , were other swarms of workers engaged in an unimaginable multitude of jobs .
  732. gold There were the huge printingshops with their sub-editors , their typography experts , and their elaborately equipped studios for the faking of photographs .
  733. gold There was the tele-programmes section with its engineers , its producers , and its teams of actors specially chosen for their skill in imitating voices .
  734. gold There were the armies of reference clerks whose job was simply to draw up lists of books and periodicals which were due for recall .
  735. gold seed There were the vast repositories where the corrected documents were stored , and the hidden furnaces where the original copies were destroyed .
  736. gold And somewhere or other , quite anonymous , there were the directing brains who co-ordinated the whole effort and laid down the lines of policy which made it necessary that this fragment of the past should be preserved , that one falsified , and the other rubbed out of existence .
  737. gold And the Records Department , after all , was itself only a single branch of the Ministry of Truth , whose primary job was not to reconstruct the past but to supply the citizens of Oceania with newspapers , films , textbooks , telescreen programmes , plays , novels - with every conceivable kind of information , instruction , or entertainment , from a statue to a slogan , from a lyric poem to a biological treatise , and from a child 's spelling-book to a Newspeak dictionary .
  738. gold And the Ministry had not only to supply the multifarious needs of the Party , but also to repeat the whole operation at a lower level for the benefit of the proletariat .
  739. gold There was a whole chain of separate departments dealing with proletarian literature , music , drama , and entertainment generally .
  740. gold Here were produced rubbishy newspapers containing almost nothing except sport , crime and astrology , sensational five-cent novelettes , films oozing with sex , and sentimental songs which were composed entirely by mechanical means on a special kind of kaleidoscope known as a versificator .
  741. gold There was even a whole sub-section - Pornosec , it was called in Newspeak - engaged in producing the lowest kind of pornography , which was sent out in sealed packets and which no Party member , other than those who worked on it , was permitted to look at .
  742. gold Three messages had slid out of the pneumatic tube while Winston was working , but they were simple matters , and he had disposed of them before the Two Minutes Hate interrupted him .
  743. gold When the Hate was over he returned to his cubicle , took the Newspeak Dictionary from the shelf , pushed the speakwrite to one side , cleaned his spectacles , and settled down to his main job of the morning .
  744. gold seed Winston 's greatest pleasure in life was in his work .
  745. gold Most of it was a tedious routine , but included in it there were also jobs so difficult and intricate that you could lose yourself in them as in the depths of a mathematical problem - delicate pieces of forgery in which you had nothing to guide you except your knowledge of the principles of Ingsoc and your estimate of what the Party wanted you to say .
  746. gold Winston was good at this kind of thing .
  747. gold On occasion he had even been entrusted with the rectification of the Times leading articles , which were written entirely in Newspeak .
  748. gold seed He unrolled the message that he had set aside earlier .
  749. gold It ran :
  750. gold times 3.12.83 reporting bb dayorder doubleplusungood refs unpersons rewrite fullwise upsub antefiling .
  751. gold seed In Oldspeak ( or standard English ) this might be rendered :
  752. gold seed The reporting of Big Brother 's Order for the Day in the Times of December 3rd 1983 is extremely unsatisfactory and makes references to non-existent persons .
  753. gold seed Rewrite it in full and submit your draft to higher authority before filing .
  754. gold Winston read through the offending article .
  755. gold Big Brother 's Order for the Day , it seemed , had been chiefly devoted to praising the work of an organization known as FFCC , which supplied cigarettes and other comforts to the sailors in the Floating Fortresses .
  756. gold seed A certain Comrade Withers , a prominent member of the Inner Party , had been singled out for special mention and awarded a decoration , the Order of Conspicuous Merit , Second Class .
  757. gold seed Three months later FFCC had suddenly been dissolved with no reasons given .
  758. gold One could assume that Withers and his associates were now in disgrace , but there had been no report of the matter in the Press or on the telescreen .
  759. gold seed That was to be expected , since it was unusual for political offenders to be put on trial or even publicly denounced .
  760. gold The great purges involving thousands of people , with public trials of traitors and thought-criminals who made abject confession of their crimes and were afterwards executed , were special show-pieces not occurring oftener than once in a couple of years .
  761. gold More commonly , people who had incurred the displeasure of the Party simply disappeared and were never heard of again .
  762. gold One never had the smallest clue as to what had happened to them .
  763. gold In some cases they might not even be dead .
  764. gold Perhaps thirty people personally known to Winston , not counting his parents , had disappeared at one time or another .
  765. gold Winston stroked his nose gently with a paper-clip .
  766. gold In the cubicle across the way Comrade Tillotson was still crouching secretively over his speakwrite .
  767. gold He raised his head for a moment : again the hostile spectacle-flash .
  768. gold Winston wondered whether Comrade Tillotson was engaged on the same job as himself .
  769. gold It was perfectly possible .
  770. gold So tricky a piece of work would never be entrusted to a single person : on the other hand , to turn it over to a committee would be to admit openly that an act of fabrication was taking place .
  771. gold seed Very likely as many as a dozen people were now working away on rival versions of what Big Brother had actually said .
  772. gold future-seed And presently some master brain in the Inner Party would select this version or that , would re-edit it and set in motion the complex processes of cross-referencing that would be required , and then the chosen lie would pass into the permanent records and become truth .
  773. gold seed Winston did not know why Withers had been disgraced .
  774. gold seed Perhaps it was for corruption or incompetence .
  775. gold Perhaps Big Brother was merely getting rid of a too-popular subordinate .
  776. gold seed Perhaps Withers or someone close to him had been suspected of heretical tendencies .
  777. gold Or perhaps - what was likeliest of all - the thing had simply happened because purges and vaporizations were a necessary part of the mechanics of government .
  778. gold The only real clue lay in the words refs unpersons , which indicated that Withers was already dead .
  779. gold You could not invariably assume this to be the case when people were arrested .
  780. gold Sometimes they were released and allowed to remain at liberty for as much as a year or two years before being executed .
  781. gold Very occasionally some person whom you had believed dead long since would make a ghostly reappearance at some public trial where he would implicate hundreds of others by his testimony before vanishing , this time for ever .
  782. gold Withers , however , was already an unperson .
  783. gold He did not exist : he had never existed .
  784. gold Winston decided that it would not be enough simply to reverse the tendency of Big Brother 's speech .
  785. gold It was better to make it deal with something totally unconnected with its original subject .
  786. gold He might turn the speech into the usual denunciation of traitors and thought-criminals , but that was a little too obvious , while to invent a victory at the front , or some triumph of over-production in the Ninth Three-Year Plan , might complicate the records too much .
  787. gold seed What was needed was a piece of pure fantasy .
  788. gold Suddenly there sprang into his mind , ready made as it were , the image of a certain Comrade Ogilvy , who had recently died in battle , in heroic circumstances .
  789. gold There were occasions when Big Brother devoted his Order for the Day to commemorating some humble , rank-and-file Party member whose life and death he held up as an example worthy to be followed .
  790. gold Today he should commemorate Comrade Ogilvy .
  791. gold It was true that there was no such person as Comrade Ogilvy , but a few lines of print and a couple of faked photographs would soon bring him into existence .
  792. gold Winston thought for a moment , then pulled the speakwrite towards him and began dictating in Big Brother 's familiar style : a style at once military and pedantic , and , because of a trick of asking questions and then promptly answering them ( `` What lessons do we learn from this fact , comrades ? ''
  793. gold `` The lesson - which is also one of the fundamental principles of Ingsoc - that , '' etc. , etc. ) , easy to imitate .
  794. gold seed At the age of three Comrade Ogilvy had refused all toys except a drum , a sub-machine gun , and a model helicopter .
  795. gold At six - a year early , by a special relaxation of the rules - he had joined the Spies , at nine he had been a troop leader .
  796. gold At eleven he had denounced his uncle to the Thought Police after overhearing a conversation which appeared to him to have criminal tendencies .
  797. gold seed At seventeen he had been a district organizer of the Junior Anti-Sex League .
  798. gold At nine teen he had designed a hand-grenade which had been adopted by the Ministry of Peace and which , at its first trial , had killed thirtyone Eurasian prisoners in one burst .
  799. gold At twenty-three he had perished in action .
  800. gold Pursued by enemy jet planes while flying over the Indian Ocean with important despatches , he had weighted his body with his machine gun and leapt out of the helicopter into deep water , despatches and all - an end , said Big Brother , which it was impossible to contemplate without feelings of envy .
  801. gold Big Brother added a few remarks on the purity and single-mindedness of Comrade Ogilvy 's life .
  802. gold seed He was a total abstainer and a nonsmoker , had no recreations except a daily hour in the gymnasium , and had taken a vow of celibacy , believing marriage and the care of a family to be incompatible with a twenty-four-hour-a-day devotion to duty .
  803. gold He had no subjects of conversation except the principles of Ingsoc , and no aim in life except the defeat of the Eurasian enemy and the hunting-down of spies , saboteurs , thoughtcriminals , and traitors generally .
  804. gold Winston debated with himself whether to award Comrade Ogilvy the Order of Conspicuous Merit : in the end he decided against it because of the unnecessary cross-referencing that it would entail .
  805. gold Once again he glanced at his rival in the opposite cubicle .
  806. gold seed Something seemed to tell him with certainty that Tillotson was busy on the same job as himself .
  807. gold seed There was no way of knowing whose job would finally be adopted , but he felt a profound conviction that it would be his own .
  808. gold seed Comrade Ogilvy , unimagined an hour ago , was now a fact .
  809. gold seed It struck him as curious that you could create dead men but not living ones .
  810. gold Comrade Ogilvy , who had never existed in the present , now existed in the past , and when once the act of forgery was forgotten , he would exist just as authentically , and upon the same evidence , as Charlemagne or Julius Caesar .
  811. gold In the low-ceilinged canteen , deep underground , the lunch queue jerked slowly forward .
  812. gold The room was already very full and deafeningly noisy .
  813. gold From the grille at the counter the steam of stew came pouring forth , with a sour metallic smell which did not quite overcome the fumes of Victory Gin .
  814. gold seed On the far side of the room there was a small bar , a mere hole in the wall , where gin could be bought at ten cents the large nip .
  815. gold `` Just the man I was looking for , '' said a voice at Winston 's back .
  816. gold He turned round .
  817. gold seed It was his friend Syme , who worked in the Research Department .
  818. gold Perhaps friend was not exactly the right word .
  819. gold seed You did not have friends nowadays , you had comrades : but there were some comrades whose society was pleasanter than that of others .
  820. gold seed Syme was a philologist , a specialist in Newspeak .
  821. gold Indeed , he was one of the enormous team of experts now engaged in compiling the Eleventh Edition of the Newspeak Dictionary .
  822. gold He was a tiny creature , smaller than Winston , with dark hair and large , protuberant eyes , at once mournful and derisive , which seemed to search your face closely while he was speaking to you .
  823. gold `` I wanted to ask you whether you 'd got any razor blades , '' he said .
  824. gold seed `` Not one ! '' said Winston with a sort of guilty haste .
  825. gold seed `` I 've tried all over the place . ''
  826. gold seed `` They don't exist any longer . ''
  827. gold seed Everyone kept asking you for razor blades .
  828. gold Actually he had two unused ones which he was hoarding up .
  829. gold There had been a famine of them for months past .
  830. gold At any given moment there was some necessary article which the Party shops were unable to supply .
  831. gold Sometimes it was buttons , sometimes it was darning wool , sometimes it was shoelaces ; at present it was razor blades .
  832. gold seed You could only get hold of them , if at all , by scrounging more or less furtively on the free market .
  833. gold `` I 've been using the same blade for six weeks , '' he added untruthfully .
  834. gold The queue gave another jerk forward .
  835. gold seed As they halted he turned and faced Syme again .
  836. gold Each of them took a greasy metal tray from a pile at the end of the counter .
  837. gold seed `` Did you go and see the prisoners hanged yesterday ? ''
  838. gold seed said Syme .
  839. gold `` I was working , '' said Winston indifferently .
  840. gold `` I shall see it on the flicks , I suppose . ''
  841. gold `` A very inadequate substitute , '' said Syme .
  842. gold His mocking eyes roved over Winston 's face .
  843. gold seed `` I know you , '' the eyes seemed to say , `` I see through you . ''
  844. gold seed `` I know very well why you didn't go to see those prisoners hanged . ''
  845. gold In an intellectual way , Syme was venomously orthodox .
  846. gold He would talk with a disagreeable gloating satisfaction of helicopter raids on enemy villages , and trials and confessions of thought-criminals , the executions in the cellars of the Ministry of Love .
  847. gold Talking to him was largely a matter of getting him away from such subjects and entangling him , if possible , in the technicalities of Newspeak , on which he was authoritative and interesting .
  848. gold seed Winston turned his head a little aside to avoid the scrutiny of the large dark eyes .
  849. gold `` It was a good hanging , '' said Syme reminiscently .
  850. gold `` I think it spoils it when they tie their feet together . ''
  851. gold future-seed `` I like to see them kicking . ''
  852. gold `` And above all , at the end , the tongue sticking right out , and blue a quite bright blue . ''
  853. gold seed `` That 's the detail that appeals to me . ''
  854. gold `` Nex' , please ! '' yelled the white-aproned prole with the ladle .
  855. gold Winston and Syme pushed their trays beneath the grille .
  856. gold seed On to each was dumped swiftly the regulation lunch - a metal pannikin of pinkish-grey stew , a hunk of bread , a cube of cheese , a mug of milkless Victory Coffee , and one saccharine tablet .
  857. gold `` There 's a table over there , under that telescreen , '' said Syme .
  858. gold `` Let 's pick up a gin on the way . ''
  859. gold The gin was served out to them in handleless china mugs .
  860. gold They threaded their way across the crowded room and unpacked their trays on to the metal-topped table , on one corner of which someone had left a pool of stew , a filthy liquid mess that had the appearance of vomit .
  861. gold Winston took up his mug of gin , paused for an instant to collect his nerve , and gulped the oily-tasting stuff down .
  862. gold When he had winked the tears out of his eyes he suddenly discovered that he was hungry .
  863. gold He began swallowing spoonfuls of the stew , which , in among its general sloppiness , had cubes of spongy pinkish stuff which was probably a preparation of meat .
  864. gold seed Neither of them spoke again till they had emptied their pannikins .
  865. gold From the table at Winston 's left , a little behind his back , someone was talking rapidly and continuously , a harsh gabble almost like the quacking of a duck , which pierced the general uproar of the room .
  866. gold seed `` How is the Dictionary getting on ? ''
  867. gold future-seed said Winston , raising his voice to overcome the noise .
  868. gold `` Slowly , '' said Syme .
  869. gold `` I 'm on the adjectives . ''
  870. gold `` It 's fascinating . ''
  871. gold He had brightened up immediately at the mention of Newspeak .
  872. gold He pushed his pannikin aside , took up his hunk of bread in one delicate hand and his cheese in the other , and leaned across the table so as to be able to speak without shouting .
  873. gold seed `` The Eleventh Edition is the definitive edition , '' he said .
  874. gold `` We 're getting the language into its final shape - the shape it 's going to have when nobody speaks anything else . ''
  875. gold `` When we 've finished with it , people like you will have to learn it all over again . ''
  876. gold future-seed `` You think , I dare say , that our chief job is inventing new words . ''
  877. gold seed `` But not a bit of it ! ''
  878. gold `` We 're destroying words - scores of them , hundreds of them , every day . ''
  879. gold `` We 're cutting the language down to the bone . ''
  880. gold seed `` The Eleventh Edition won't contain a single word that will become obsolete before the year 2050 . ''
  881. gold He bit hungrily into his bread and swallowed a couple of mouthfuls , then continued speaking , with a sort of pedant 's passion .
  882. gold His thin dark face had become animated , his eyes had lost their mocking expression and grown almost dreamy .
  883. gold seed `` It 's a beautiful thing , the destruction of words . ''
  884. gold `` Of course the great wastage is in the verbs and adjectives , but there are hundreds of nouns that can be got rid of as well . ''
  885. gold `` It isn't only the synonyms ; there are also the antonyms . ''
  886. gold `` After all , what justification is there for a word which is simply the opposite of some other word ? ''
  887. gold `` A word contains its opposite in itself . ''
  888. gold seed `` Take good , for instance . ''
  889. gold future-seed `` If you have a word like good , what need is there for a word like bad ? ''
  890. gold future-seed `` Ungood will do just as well - better , because it 's an exact opposite , which the other is not . ''
  891. gold `` Or again , if you want a stronger version of good , what sense is there in having a whole string of vague useless words like excellent and splendid and all the rest of them ? ''
  892. gold seed `` Plusgood covers the meaning , or doubleplusgood if you want something stronger still . ''
  893. gold seed `` Of course we use those forms already , but in the final version of Newspeak there 'll be nothing else . ''
  894. gold `` In the end the whole notion of goodness and badness will be covered by only six words - in reality , only one word . ''
  895. gold `` Don't you see the beauty of that , Winston ? ''
  896. gold seed `` It was B.B. 's idea originally , of course , '' he added as an afterthought .
  897. gold A sort of vapid eagerness flitted across Winston 's face at the mention of Big Brother .
  898. gold Nevertheless Syme immediately detected a certain lack of enthusiasm .
  899. gold `` You haven't a real appreciation of Newspeak , Winston , '' he said almost sadly .
  900. gold `` Even when you write it you 're still thinking in Oldspeak . ''
  901. gold seed `` I 've read some of those pieces that you write in the Times occasionally . ''
  902. gold seed `` They 're good enough , but they 're translations . ''
  903. gold future-seed `` In your heart you 'd prefer to stick to Oldspeak , with all its vagueness and its useless shades of meaning . ''
  904. gold `` You don't grasp the beauty of the destruction of words . ''
  905. gold `` Do you know that Newspeak is the only language in the world whose vocabulary gets smaller every year ? ''
  906. gold Winston did know that , of course .
  907. gold seed He smiled , sympathetically he hoped , not trusting himself to speak .
  908. gold seed Syme bit off another fragment of the dark-coloured bread , chewed it briefly , and went on :
  909. gold `` Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought ? ''
  910. gold `` In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible , because there will be no words in which to express it . ''
  911. gold `` Every concept that can ever be needed , will be expressed by exactly one word , with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten . ''
  912. gold `` Already , in the Eleventh Edition , we 're not far from that point . ''
  913. gold `` But the process will still be continuing long after you and I are dead . ''
  914. gold `` Every year fewer and fewer words , and the range of consciousness always a little smaller . ''
  915. gold `` Even now , of course , there 's no reason or excuse for committing thoughtcrime . ''
  916. gold `` It 's merely a question of self-discipline , reality-control . ''
  917. gold `` But in the end there won't be any need even for that . ''
  918. gold seed `` The Revolution will be complete when the language is perfect . ''
  919. gold `` Newspeak is Ingsoc and Ingsoc is Newspeak , '' he added with a sort of mystical satisfaction .
  920. gold `` Has it ever occurred to you , Winston , that by the year 2050 , at the very latest , not a single human being will be alive who could understand such a conversation as we are having now ? ''
  921. gold seed `` Except - '' began Winston doubtfully , and he stopped .
  922. gold It had been on the tip of his tongue to say `` Except the proles , '' but he checked himself , not feeling fully certain that this remark was not in some way unorthodox .
  923. gold seed Syme , however , had divined what he was about to say .
  924. gold future-seed `` The proles are not human beings , '' he said carelessly .
  925. gold future-seed `` By 2050 earlier , probably - all real knowledge of Oldspeak will have disappeared . ''
  926. gold `` The whole literature of the past will have been destroyed . ''
  927. gold `` Chaucer , Shakespeare , Milton , Byron - they 'll exist only in Newspeak versions , not merely changed into something different , but actually changed into something contradictory of what they used to be . ''
  928. gold `` Even the literature of the Party will change . ''
  929. gold `` Even the slogans will change . ''
  930. gold `` How could you have a slogan like `` freedom is slavery '' when the concept of freedom has been abolished ? ''
  931. gold future-seed `` The whole climate of thought will be different . ''
  932. gold `` In fact there will be no thought , as we understand it now . ''
  933. gold `` Orthodoxy means not thinking - not needing to think . ''
  934. gold `` Orthodoxy is unconsciousness . ''
  935. gold seed One of these days , thought Winston with sudden deep conviction , Syme will be vaporized .
  936. gold He is too intelligent .
  937. gold seed He sees too clearly and speaks too plainly .
  938. gold The Party does not like such people .
  939. gold One day he will disappear .
  940. gold seed It is written in his face .
  941. gold Winston had finished his bread and cheese .
  942. gold He turned a little sideways in his chair to drink his mug of coffee .
  943. gold At the table on his left the man with the strident voice was still talking remorselessly away .
  944. gold seed A young woman who was perhaps his secretary , and who was sitting with her back to Winston , was listening to him and seemed to be eagerly agreeing with everything that he said .
  945. gold From time to time Winston caught some such remark as `` I think you 're so right , I do so agree with you '' , uttered in a youthful and rather silly feminine voice .
  946. gold But the other voice never stopped for an instant , even when the girl was speaking .
  947. gold Winston knew the man by sight , though he knew no more about him than that he held some important post in the Fiction Department .
  948. gold He was a man of about thirty , with a muscular throat and a large , mobile mouth .
  949. gold His head was thrown back a little , and because of the angle at which he was sitting , his spectacles caught the light and presented to Winston two blank discs instead of eyes .
  950. gold What was slightly horrible , was that from the stream of sound that poured out of his mouth it was almost impossible to distinguish a single word .
  951. gold Just once Winston caught a phrase - `` complete and final elimination of Goldsteinism '' - jerked out very rapidly and , as it seemed , all in one piece , like a line of type cast solid .
  952. gold For the rest it was just a noise , a quackquack-quacking .
  953. gold seed And yet , though you could not actually hear what the man was saying , you could not be in any doubt about its general nature .
  954. gold He might be denouncing Goldstein and demanding sterner measures against thought-criminals and saboteurs , he might be fulminating against the atrocities of the Eurasian army , he might be praising Big Brother or the heroes on the Malabar front - it made no difference .
  955. gold Whatever it was , you could be certain that every word of it was pure orthodoxy , pure Ingsoc .
  956. gold As he watched the eyeless face with the jaw moving rapidly up and down , Winston had a curious feeling that this was not a real human being but some kind of dummy .
  957. gold It was not the man 's brain that was speaking , it was his larynx .
  958. gold The stuff that was coming out of him consisted of words , but it was not speech in the true sense : it was a noise uttered in unconsciousness , like the quacking of a duck .
  959. gold Syme had fallen silent for a moment , and with the handle of his spoon was tracing patterns in the puddle of stew .
  960. gold The voice from the other table quacked rapidly on , easily audible in spite of the surrounding din .
  961. gold `` There is a word in Newspeak , '' said Syme , `` I don't know whether you know it : duckspeak , to quack like a duck . ''
  962. gold seed `` It is one of those interesting words that have two contradictory meanings . ''
  963. gold seed `` Applied to an opponent , it is abuse , applied to someone you agree with , it is praise . ''
  964. gold seed Unquestionably Syme will be vaporized , Winston thought again .
  965. gold He thought it with a kind of sadness , although well knowing that Syme despised him and slightly disliked him , and was fully capable of denouncing him as a thought-criminal if he saw any reason for doing so .
  966. gold There was something subtly wrong with Syme .
  967. gold There was something that he lacked : discretion , aloofness , a sort of saving stupidity .
  968. gold You could not say that he was unorthodox .
  969. gold He believed in the principles of Ingsoc , he venerated Big Brother , he rejoiced over victories , he hated heretics , not merely with sincerity but with a sort of restless zeal , an up-to-dateness of information , which the ordinary Party member did not approach .
  970. gold Yet a faint air of disreputability always clung to him .
  971. gold seed He said things that would have been better unsaid , he had read too many books , he frequented the Chestnut Tree Café , haunt of painters and musicians .
  972. gold seed There was no law , not even an unwritten law , against frequenting the Chestnut Tree Café , yet the place was somehow ill-omened .
  973. gold The old , discredited leaders of the Party had been used to gather there before they were finally purged .
  974. gold seed Goldstein himself , it was said , had sometimes been seen there , years and decades ago .
  975. gold seed Syme 's fate was not difficult to foresee .
  976. gold And yet it was a fact that if Syme grasped , even for three seconds , the nature of his , Winston 's , secret opinions , he would betray him instantly to the Thought Police .
  977. gold So would anybody else , for that matter : but Syme more than most .
  978. gold seed Zeal was not enough .
  979. gold Orthodoxy was unconsciousness .
  980. gold Syme looked up .
  981. gold `` Here comes Parsons , '' he said .
  982. gold seed Something in the tone of his voice seemed to add , `` that bloody fool '' .
  983. gold Parsons , Winston 's fellow-tenant at Victory Mansions , was in fact threading his way across the room - a tubby , middle-sized man with fair hair and a froglike face .
  984. gold seed At thirty-five he was already putting on rolls of fat at neck and waistline , but his movements were brisk and boyish .
  985. gold His whole appearance was that of a little boy grown large , so much so that although he was wearing the regulation overalls , it was almost impossible not to think of him as being dressed in the blue shorts , grey shirt , and red neckerchief of the Spies .
  986. gold In visualizing him one saw always a picture of dimpled knees and sleeves rolled back from pudgy forearms .
  987. gold Parsons did , indeed , invariably revert to shorts when a community hike or any other physical activity gave him an excuse for doing so .
  988. gold seed He greeted them both with a cheery `` Hullo , hullo ! '' and sat down at the table , giving off an intense smell of sweat .
  989. gold Beads of moisture stood out all over his pink face .
  990. gold His powers of sweating were extraordinary .
  991. gold At the Community Centre you could always tell when he had been playing table-tennis by the dampness of the bat handle .
  992. gold Syme had produced a strip of paper on which there was a long column of words , and was studying it with an ink-pencil between his fingers .
  993. gold seed `` Look at him working away in the lunch hour , '' said Parsons , nudging Winston .
  994. gold future-seed `` Keenness , eh ? ''
  995. gold seed `` What 's that you 've got there , old boy ? ''
  996. gold seed `` Something a bit too brainy for me , I expect . ''
  997. gold `` Smith , old boy , I 'll tell you why I 'm chasing you . ''
  998. gold seed `` It 's that sub you forgot to give me . ''
  999. gold seed `` Which sub is that ? ''
  1000. gold seed said Winston , automatically feeling for money .
  1001. gold About a quarter of one 's salary had to be earmarked for voluntary subscriptions , which were so numerous that it was difficult to keep track of them .
  1002. gold future-seed `` For Hate Week . ''
  1003. gold future-seed `` You know - the house-by-house fund . ''
  1004. gold `` I 'm treasurer for our block . ''
  1005. gold seed `` We 're making an all-out effort - going to put on a tremendous show . ''
  1006. gold `` I tell you , it won't be my fault if old Victory Mansions doesn't have the biggest outfit of flags in the whole street . ''
  1007. gold `` Two dollars you promised me . ''
  1008. gold seed Winston found and handed over two creased and filthy notes , which Parsons entered in a small notebook , in the neat handwriting of the illiterate .
  1009. gold `` By the way , old boy , '' he said , `` I hear that little beggar of mine let fly at you with his catapult yesterday . ''
  1010. gold seed `` I gave him a good dressing down for it . ''
  1011. gold `` In fact I told him I 'd take the catapult away if he does it again . ''
  1012. gold seed `` I think he was a little upset at not going to the execution , '' said Winston .
  1013. gold seed `` Ah , well - what I mean to say , shows the right spirit , doesn't it ? ''
  1014. gold `` Mischievous little beggars they are , both of them , but talk about keenness ! ''
  1015. gold seed `` All they think about is the Spies , and the war , of course . ''
  1016. gold `` D' you know what that little girl of mine did last Saturday , when her troop was on a hike out Berkhamsted way ? ''
  1017. gold `` She got two other girls to go with her , slipped off from the hike , and spent the whole afternoon following a strange man . ''
  1018. gold `` They kept on his tail for two hours , right through the woods , and then , when they got into Amersham , handed him over to the patrols . ''
  1019. gold `` What did they do that for ? ''
  1020. gold said Winston , somewhat taken aback .
  1021. gold future-seed Parsons went on triumphantly :
  1022. gold seed `` My kid made sure he was some kind of enemy agent - might have been dropped by parachute , for instance . ''
  1023. gold `` But here 's the point , old boy . ''
  1024. gold `` What do you think put her on to him in the first place ? ''
  1025. gold `` She spotted he was wearing a funny kind of shoes - said she 'd never seen anyone wearing shoes like that before . ''
  1026. gold `` So the chances were he was a foreigner . ''
  1027. gold `` Pretty smart for a nipper of seven , eh ? ''
  1028. gold `` What happened to the man ? ''
  1029. gold said Winston .
  1030. gold `` Ah , that I couldn't say , of course . ''
  1031. gold `` But I wouldn't be altogether surprised if - '' Parsons made the motion of aiming a rifle , and clicked his tongue for the explosion .
  1032. gold `` Good , '' said Syme abstractedly , without looking up from his strip of paper .
  1033. gold seed `` Of course we can't afford to take chances , '' agreed Winston dutifully .
  1034. gold seed `` What I mean to say , there is a war on , '' said Parsons .
  1035. gold As though in confirmation of this , a trumpet call floated from the telescreen just above their heads .
  1036. gold However , it was not the proclamation of a military victory this time , but merely an announcement from the Ministry of Plenty .
  1037. gold `` Comrades ! '' cried an eager youthful voice .
  1038. gold future-seed `` Attention , comrades ! ''
  1039. gold `` We have glorious news for you . ''
  1040. gold `` We have won the battle for production ! ''
  1041. gold `` Returns now completed of the output of all classes of consumption goods show that the standard of living has risen by no less than 20 per cent over the past year . ''
  1042. gold `` All over Oceania this morning there were irrepressible spontaneous demonstrations when workers marched out of factories and offices and paraded through the streets with banners voicing their gratitude to Big Brother for the new , happy life which his wise leadership has bestowed upon us . ''
  1043. gold seed `` Here are some of the completed figures . ''
  1044. gold seed `` Foodstuffs - ''
  1045. gold The phrase our new , happy life recurred several times .
  1046. gold It had been a favourite of late with the Ministry of Plenty .
  1047. gold seed Parsons , his attention caught by the trumpet call , sat listening with a sort of gaping solemnity , a sort of edified boredom .
  1048. gold He could not follow the figures , but he was aware that they were in some way a cause for satisfaction .
  1049. gold He had lugged out a huge and filthy pipe which was already half full of charred tobacco .
  1050. gold seed With the tobacco ration at 100 grammes a week it was seldom possible to fill a pipe to the top .
  1051. gold Winston was smoking a Victory Cigarette which he held carefully horizontal .
  1052. gold seed The new ration did not start till tomorrow and he had only four cigarettes left .
  1053. gold For the moment he had shut his ears to the remoter noises and was listening to the stuff that streamed out of the telescreen .
  1054. gold It appeared that there had even been demonstrations to thank Big Brother for raising the chocolate ration to twenty grammes a week .
  1055. gold And only yesterday , he reflected , it had been announced that the ration was to be reduced to twenty grammes a week .
  1056. gold Was it possible that they could swallow that , after only twenty-four hours ?
  1057. gold Yes , they swallowed it .
  1058. gold Parsons swallowed it easily , with the stupidity of an animal .
  1059. gold The eyeless creature at the other table swallowed it fanatically , passionately , with a furious desire to track down , denounce , and vaporize anyone who should suggest that last week the ration had been thirty grammes .
  1060. gold Syme , too - in some more complex way , involving doublethink , Syme swallowed it .
  1061. gold Was he , then , alone in the possession of a memory ?
  1062. gold The fabulous statistics continued to pour out of the telescreen .
  1063. gold As compared with last year there was more food , more clothes , more houses , more furniture , more cooking-pots , more fuel , more ships , more helicopters , more books , more babies - more of everything except disease , crime , and insanity .
  1064. gold seed Year by year and minute by minute , everybody and everything was whizzing rapidly upwards .
  1065. gold As Syme had done earlier Winston had taken up his spoon and was dabbling in the pale-coloured gravy that dribbled across the table , drawing a long streak of it out into a pattern .
  1066. gold He meditated resentfully on the physical texture of life .
  1067. gold seed Had it always been like this ?
  1068. gold Had food always tasted like this ?
  1069. gold He looked round the canteen .
  1070. gold seed A low-ceilinged , crowded room , its walls grimy from the contact of innumerable bodies ; battered metal tables and chairs , placed so close together that you sat with elbows touching ; bent spoons , dented trays , coarse white mugs ; all surfaces greasy , grime in every crack ; and a sourish , composite smell of bad gin and bad coffee and metallic stew and dirty clothes .
  1071. gold seed Always in your stomach and in your skin there was a sort of protest , a feeling that you had been cheated of something that you had a right to .
  1072. gold seed It was true that he had no memories of anything greatly different .
  1073. gold In any time that he could accurately remember , there had never been quite enough to eat , one had never had socks or underclothes that were not full of holes , furniture had always been battered and rickety , rooms underheated , tube trains crowded , houses falling to pieces , bread dark-coloured , tea a rarity , coffee filthy-tasting , cigarettes insufficient - nothing cheap and plentiful except synthetic gin .
  1074. gold And though , of course , it grew worse as one 's body aged , was it not a sign that this was not the natural order of things , if one 's heart sickened at the discomfort and dirt and scarcity , the interminable winters , the stickiness of one 's socks , the lifts that never worked , the cold water , the gritty soap , the cigarettes that came to pieces , the food with its strange evil tastes ?
  1075. gold Why should one feel it to be intolerable unless one had some kind of ancestral memory that things had once been different ?
  1076. gold He looked round the canteen again .
  1077. gold seed Nearly everyone was ugly , and would still have been ugly even if dressed otherwise than in the uniform blue overalls .
  1078. gold On the far side of the room , sitting at a table alone , a small , curiously beetle-like man was drinking a cup of coffee , his little eyes darting suspicious glances from side to side .
  1079. gold How easy it was , thought Winston , if you did not look about you , to believe that the physical type set up by the Party as an ideal - tall muscular youths and deep-bosomed maidens , blond-haired , vital , sunburnt , carefree - existed and even predominated .
  1080. gold Actually , so far as he could judge , the majority of people in Airstrip One were small , dark , and ill-favoured .
  1081. gold It was curious how that beetle-like type proliferated in the Ministries : little dumpy men , growing stout very early in life , with short legs , swift scuttling movements , and fat inscrutable faces with very small eyes .
  1082. gold It was the type that seemed to flourish best under the dominion of the Party .
  1083. gold The announcement from the Ministry of Plenty ended on another trumpet call and gave way to tinny music .
  1084. gold Parsons , stirred to vague enthusiasm by the bombardment of figures , took his pipe out of his mouth .
  1085. gold future-seed `` The Ministry of Plenty 's certainly done a good job this year , '' he said with a knowing shake of his head .
  1086. gold seed `` By the way , Smith old boy , I suppose you haven't got any razor blades you can let me have ? ''
  1087. gold seed `` Not one , '' said Winston .
  1088. gold seed `` I 've been using the same blade for six weeks myself . ''
  1089. gold `` Ah , well - just thought I 'd ask you , old boy . ''
  1090. gold `` Sorry , '' said Winston .
  1091. gold The quacking voice from the next table , temporarily silenced during the Ministry 's announcement , had started up again , as loud as ever .
  1092. gold For some reason Winston suddenly found himself thinking of Mrs Parsons , with her wispy hair and the dust in the creases of her face .
  1093. gold Within two years those children would be denouncing her to the Thought Police .
  1094. gold Mrs Parsons would be vaporized .
  1095. gold Syme would be vaporized .
  1096. gold Winston would be vaporized .
  1097. gold O'Brien would be vaporized .
  1098. gold Parsons , on the other hand , would never be vaporized .
  1099. gold The eyeless creature with the quacking voice would never be vaporized .
  1100. gold seed The little beetle-like men who scuttle so nimbly through the labyrinthine corridors of Ministries they , too , would never be vaporized .
  1101. gold And the girl with dark hair , the girl from the Fiction Department - she would never be vaporized either .
  1102. gold It seemed to him that he knew instinctively who would survive and who would perish : though just what it was that made for survival , it was not easy to say .
  1103. gold At this moment he was dragged out of his reverie with a violent jerk .
  1104. gold The girl at the next table had turned partly round and was looking at him .
  1105. gold It was the girl with dark hair .
  1106. gold seed She was looking at him in a sidelong way , but with curious intensity .
  1107. gold The instant she caught his eye she looked away again .
  1108. gold The sweat started out on Winston 's backbone .
  1109. gold A horrible pang of terror went through him .
  1110. gold It was gone almost at once , but it left a sort of nagging uneasiness behind .
  1111. gold seed Why was she watching him ?
  1112. gold Why did she keep following him about ?
  1113. gold Unfortunately he could not remember whether she had already been at the table when he arrived , or had come there afterwards .
  1114. gold But yesterday , at any rate , during the Two Minutes Hate , she had sat immediately behind him when there was no apparent need to do so .
  1115. gold Quite likely her real object had been to listen to him and make sure whether he was shouting loudly enough .
  1116. gold His earlier thought returned to him : probably she was not actually a member of the Thought Police , but then it was precisely the amateur spy who was the greatest danger of all .
  1117. gold seed He did not know how long she had been looking at him , but perhaps for as much as five minutes , and it was possible that his features had not been perfectly under control .
  1118. gold It was terribly dangerous to let your thoughts wander when you were in any public place or within range of a telescreen .
  1119. gold The smallest thing could give you away .
  1120. gold A nervous tic , an unconscious look of anxiety , a habit of muttering to yourself - anything that carried with it the suggestion of abnormality , of having something to hide .
  1121. gold In any case , to wear an improper expression on your face ( to look incredulous when a victory was announced , for example ) was itself a punishable offence .
  1122. gold There was even a word for it in Newspeak : facecrime , it was called .
  1123. gold The girl had turned her back on him again .
  1124. gold seed Perhaps after all she was not really following him about , perhaps it was coincidence that she had sat so close to him two days running .
  1125. gold His cigarette had gone out , and he laid it carefully on the edge of the table .
  1126. gold seed He would finish smoking it after work , if he could keep the tobacco in it .
  1127. gold seed Quite likely the person at the next table was a spy of the Thought Police , and quite likely he would be in the cellars of the Ministry of Love within three days , but a cigarette end must not be wasted .
  1128. gold Syme had folded up his strip of paper and stowed it away in his pocket .
  1129. gold seed Parsons had begun talking again .
  1130. gold `` Did I ever tell you , old boy , '' he said , chuckling round the stem of his pipe , `` about the time when those two nippers of mine set fire to the old market-woman 's skirt because they saw her wrapping up sausages in a poster of B.B. ? ''
  1131. gold `` Sneaked up behind her and set fire to it with a box of matches . ''
  1132. gold seed `` Burned her quite badly , I believe . ''
  1133. gold seed `` Little beggars , eh ? ''
  1134. gold seed `` But keen as mustard ! ''
  1135. gold seed `` That 's a first-rate training they give them in the Spies nowadays - better than in my day , even . ''
  1136. gold `` What d' you think 's the latest thing they 've served them out with ? ''
  1137. gold seed `` Ear trumpets for listening through keyholes ! ''
  1138. gold `` My little girl brought one home the other night - tried it out on our sitting-room door , and reckoned she could hear twice as much as with her ear to the hole . ''
  1139. gold seed `` Of course it 's only a toy , mind you . ''
  1140. gold seed `` Still , gives 'em the right idea , eh ? ''
  1141. gold seed At this moment the telescreen let out a piercing whistle .
  1142. gold It was the signal to return to work .
  1143. gold All three men sprang to their feet to join in the struggle round the lifts , and the remaining tobacco fell out of Winston 's cigarette .
  1144. gold Winston was writing in his diary :
  1145. gold It was three years ago .
  1146. gold It was on a dark evening , in a narrow side-street near one of the big railway stations .
  1147. gold She was standing near a doorway in the wall , under a street lamp that hardly gave any light .
  1148. gold She had a young face , painted very thick .
  1149. gold It was really the paint that appealed to me , the whiteness of it , like a mask , and the bright red lips .
  1150. gold Party women never paint their faces .
  1151. gold There was nobody else in the street , and no telescreens .
  1152. gold future-seed She said two dollars .
  1153. gold future-seed I -
  1154. gold future-seed For the moment it was too difficult to go on .
  1155. gold He shut his eyes and pressed his fingers against them , trying to squeeze out the vision that kept recurring .
  1156. gold He had an almost overwhelming temptation to shout a string of filthy words at the top of his voice .
  1157. gold Or to bang his head against the wall , to kick over the table , and hurl the inkpot through the window - to do any violent or noisy or painful thing that might black out the memory that was tormenting him .
  1158. gold seed Your worst enemy , he reflected , was your own nervous system .
  1159. gold At any moment the tension inside you was liable to translate itself into some visible symptom .
  1160. gold He thought of a man whom he had passed in the street a few weeks back ; a quite ordinary-looking man , a Party member , aged thirty-five to forty , tallish and thin , carrying a brief-case .
  1161. gold They were a few metres apart when the left side of the man 's face was suddenly contorted by a sort of spasm .
  1162. gold seed It happened again just as they were passing one another : it was only a twitch , a quiver , rapid as the clicking of a camera shutter , but obviously habitual .
  1163. gold He remembered thinking at the time : That poor devil is done for .
  1164. gold And what was frightening was that the action was quite possibly unconscious .
  1165. gold The most deadly danger of all was talking in your sleep .
  1166. gold seed There was no way of guarding against that , so far as he could see .
  1167. gold He drew his breath and went on writing :
  1168. gold seed I went with her through the doorway and across a backyard into a basement kitchen .
  1169. gold There was a bed against the wall , and a lamp on the table , turned down very low .
  1170. gold She -
  1171. gold His teeth were set on edge .
  1172. gold seed He would have liked to spit .
  1173. gold Simultaneously with the woman in the basement kitchen he thought of Katharine , his wife .
  1174. gold Winston was married - had been married , at any rate : probably he still was married , so far as he knew his wife was not dead .
  1175. gold He seemed to breathe again the warm stuffy odour of the basement kitchen , an odour compounded of bugs and dirty clothes and villainous cheap scent , but nevertheless alluring , because no woman of the Party ever used scent , or could be imagined as doing so .
  1176. gold Only the proles used scent .
  1177. gold In his mind the smell of it was inextricably mixed up with fornication .
  1178. gold When he had gone with that woman it had been his first lapse in two years or thereabouts .
  1179. gold Consorting with prostitutes was forbidden , of course , but it was one of those rules that you could occasionally nerve yourself to break .
  1180. gold It was dangerous , but it was not a life-and-death matter .
  1181. gold To be caught with a prostitute might mean five years in a forced-labour camp : not more , if you had committed no other offence .
  1182. gold And it was easy enough , provided that you could avoid being caught in the act .
  1183. gold seed The poorer quarters swarmed with women who were ready to sell themselves .
  1184. gold Some could even be purchased for a bottle of gin , which the proles were not supposed to drink .
  1185. gold Tacitly the Party was even inclined to encourage prostitution , as an outlet for instincts which could not be altogether suppressed .
  1186. gold Mere debauchery did not matter very much , so long as it was furtive and joyless and only involved the women of a submerged and despised class .
  1187. gold The unforgivable crime was promiscuity between Party members .
  1188. gold But - though this was one of the crimes that the accused in the great purges invariably confessed to - it was difficult to imagine any such thing actually happening .
  1189. gold The aim of the Party was not merely to prevent men and women from forming loyalties which it might not be able to control .
  1190. gold Its real , undeclared purpose was to remove all pleasure from the sexual act .
  1191. gold Not love so much as eroticism was the enemy , inside marriage as well as outside it .
  1192. gold All marriages between Party members had to be approved by a committee appointed for the purpose , and - though the principle was never clearly stated - permission was always refused if the couple concerned gave the impression of being physically attracted to one another .
  1193. gold The only recognized purpose of marriage was to beget children for the service of the Party .
  1194. gold Sexual intercourse was to be looked on as a slightly disgusting minor operation , like having an enema .
  1195. gold This again was never put into plain words , but in an indirect way it was rubbed into every Party member from childhood onwards .
  1196. gold There were even organizations such as the Junior Anti-Sex League , which advocated complete celibacy for both sexes .
  1197. gold seed All children were to be begotten by artificial insemination ( artsem , it was called in Newspeak ) and brought up in public institutions .
  1198. gold This , Winston was aware , was not meant altogether seriously , but somehow it fitted in with the general ideology of the Party .
  1199. gold seed The Party was trying to kill the sex instinct , or , if it could not be killed , then to distort it and dirty it .
  1200. gold He did not know why this was so , but it seemed natural that it should be so .
  1201. gold And as far as the women were concerned , the Party 's efforts were largely successful .
  1202. gold He thought again of Katharine .
  1203. gold It must be nine , ten - nearly eleven years since they had parted .
  1204. gold seed It was curious how seldom he thought of her .
  1205. gold seed For days at a time he was capable of forgetting that he had ever been married .
  1206. gold They had only been together for about fifteen months .
  1207. gold seed The Party did not permit divorce , but it rather encouraged separation in cases where there were no children .
  1208. gold Katharine was a tall , fair-haired girl , very straight , with splendid movements .
  1209. gold She had a bold , aquiline face , a face that one might have called noble until one discovered that there was as nearly as possible nothing behind it .
  1210. gold Very early in her married life he had decided - though perhaps it was only that he knew her more intimately than he knew most people - that she had without exception the most stupid , vulgar , empty mind that he had ever encountered .
  1211. gold seed She had not a thought in her head that was not a slogan , and there was no imbecility , absolutely none that she was not capable of swallowing if the Party handed it out to her .
  1212. gold `` The human sound-track '' he nicknamed her in his own mind .
  1213. gold Yet he could have endured living with her if it had not been for just one thing - sex .
  1214. gold As soon as he touched her she seemed to wince and stiffen .
  1215. gold To embrace her was like embracing a jointed wooden image .
  1216. gold And what was strange was that even when she was clasping him against her he had the feeling that she was simultaneously pushing him away with all her strength .
  1217. gold The rigidity of her muscles managed to convey that impression .
  1218. gold seed She would lie there with shut eyes , neither resisting nor co-operating but submitting .
  1219. gold It was extraordinarily embarrassing , and , after a while , horrible .
  1220. gold But even then he could have borne living with her if it had been agreed that they should remain celibate .
  1221. gold But curiously enough it was Katharine who refused this .
  1222. gold They must , she said , produce a child if they could .
  1223. gold So the performance continued to happen , once a week quite regularly , whenever it was not impossible .
  1224. gold She even used to remind him of it in the morning , as something which had to be done that evening and which must not be forgotten .
  1225. gold She had two names for it .
  1226. gold One was making a baby , and the other was our duty to the Party ( yes , she had actually used that phrase ) .
  1227. gold seed Quite soon he grew to have a feeling of positive dread when the appointed day came round .
  1228. gold But luckily no child appeared , and in the end she agreed to give up trying , and soon afterwards they parted .
  1229. gold Winston sighed inaudibly .
  1230. gold He picked up his pen again and wrote :
  1231. gold She threw herself down on the bed , and at once , without any kind of preliminary in the most coarse , horrible way you can imagine , pulled up her skirt .
  1232. gold I -
  1233. gold He saw himself standing there in the dim lamplight , with the smell of bugs and cheap scent in his nostrils , and in his heart a feeling of defeat and resentment which even at that moment was mixed up with the thought of Katharine 's white body , frozen for ever by the hypnotic power of the Party .
  1234. gold Why did it always have to be like this ?
  1235. gold seed Why could he not have a woman of his own instead of these filthy scuffles at intervals of years ?
  1236. gold But a real love affair was an almost unthinkable event .
  1237. gold The women of the Party were all alike .
  1238. gold seed Chastity was as deep ingrained in them as Party loyalty .
  1239. gold By careful early conditioning , by games and cold water , by the rubbish that was dinned into them at school and in the Spies and the Youth League , by lectures , parades , songs , slogans , and martial music , the natural feeling had been driven out of them .
  1240. gold His reason told him that there must be exceptions , but his heart did not believe it .
  1241. gold seed They were all impregnable , as the Party intended that they should be .
  1242. gold seed And what he wanted , more even than to be loved , was to break down that wall of virtue , even if it were only once in his whole life .
  1243. gold The sexual act , successfully performed , was rebellion .
  1244. gold seed Desire was thoughtcrime .
  1245. gold seed Even to have awakened Katharine , if he could have achieved it , would have been like a seduction , although she was his wife .
  1246. gold But the rest of the story had got to be written down .
  1247. gold He wrote :
  1248. gold I turned up the lamp .
  1249. gold When I saw her in the light -
  1250. gold After the darkness the feeble light of the paraffin lamp had seemed very bright .
  1251. gold For the first time he could see the woman properly .
  1252. gold He had taken a step towards her and then halted , full of lust and terror .
  1253. gold seed He was painfully conscious of the risk he had taken in coming here .
  1254. gold It was perfectly possible that the patrols would catch him on the way out : for that matter they might be waiting outside the door at this moment .
  1255. gold If he went away without even doing what he had come here to do - !
  1256. gold seed It had got to be written down , it had got to be confessed .
  1257. gold seed What he had suddenly seen in the lamplight was that the woman was old .
  1258. gold The paint was plastered so thick on her face that it looked as though it might crack like a cardboard mask .
  1259. gold There were streaks of white in her hair ; but the truly dreadful detail was that her mouth had fallen a little open , revealing nothing except a cavernous blackness .
  1260. gold She had no teeth at all .
  1261. gold He wrote hurriedly , in scrabbling handwriting :
  1262. gold When I saw her in the light she was quite an old woman , fifty years old at least .
  1263. gold But I went ahead and did it just the same .
  1264. gold He pressed his fingers against his eyelids again .
  1265. gold He had written it down at last , but it made no difference .
  1266. gold The therapy had not worked .
  1267. gold seed The urge to shout filthy words at the top of his voice was as strong as ever .
  1268. gold `` If there is hope '' [ wrote Winston ] `` it lies in the proles . ''
  1269. gold If there was hope , it must lie in the proles , because only there in those swarming disregarded masses , 85 per cent of the population of Oceania , could the force to destroy the Party ever be generated .
  1270. gold future-seed The Party could not be overthrown from within .
  1271. gold seed Its enemies , if it had any enemies , had no way of coming together or even of identifying one another .
  1272. gold Even if the legendary Brotherhood existed , as just possibly it might , it was inconceivable that its members could ever assemble in larger numbers than twos and threes .
  1273. gold Rebellion meant a look in the eyes , an inflexion of the voice , at the most , an occasional whispered word .
  1274. gold But the proles , if only they could somehow become conscious of their own strength , would have no need to conspire .
  1275. gold They needed only to rise up and shake themselves like a horse shaking off flies .
  1276. gold If they chose they could blow the Party to pieces tomorrow morning .
  1277. gold seed Surely sooner or later it must occur to them to do it ?
  1278. gold And yet - !
  1279. gold He remembered how once he had been walking down a crowded street when a tremendous shout of hundreds of voices women 's voices - had burst from a side-street a little way ahead .
  1280. gold It was a great formidable cry of anger and despair , a deep , loud `` Oh-o-o-o-oh ! '' that went humming on like the reverberation of a bell .
  1281. gold His heart had leapt .
  1282. gold seed It 's started ! he had thought .
  1283. gold seed A riot !
  1284. gold The proles are breaking loose at last !
  1285. gold When he had reached the spot it was to see a mob of two or three hundred women crowding round the stalls of a street market , with faces as tragic as though they had been the doomed passengers on a sinking ship .
  1286. gold But at this moment the general despair broke down into a multitude of individual quarrels .
  1287. gold seed It appeared that one of the stalls had been selling tin saucepans .
  1288. gold seed They were wretched , flimsy things , but cooking-pots of any kind were always difficult to get .
  1289. gold Now the supply had unexpectedly given out .
  1290. gold The successful women , bumped and jostled by the rest , were trying to make off with their saucepans while dozens of others clamoured round the stall , accusing the stallkeeper of favouritism and of having more saucepans somewhere in reserve .
  1291. gold seed There was a fresh outburst of yells .
  1292. gold Two bloated women , one of them with her hair coming down , had got hold of the same saucepan and were trying to tear it out of one another 's hands .
  1293. gold For a moment they were both tugging , and then the handle came off .
  1294. gold Winston watched them disgustedly .
  1295. gold And yet , just for a moment , what almost frightening power had sounded in that cry from only a few hundred throats !
  1296. gold seed Why was it that they could never shout like that about anything that mattered ?
  1297. gold He wrote :
  1298. gold Until they become conscious they will never rebel , and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious .
  1299. gold That , he reflected , might almost have been a transcription from one of the Party textbooks .
  1300. gold The Party claimed , of course , to have liberated the proles from bondage .
  1301. gold Before the Revolution they had been hideously oppressed by the capitalists , they had been starved and flogged , women had been forced to work in the coal mines ( women still did work in the coal mines , as a matter of fact ) , children had been sold into the factories at the age of six .
  1302. gold But simultaneously , true to the Principles of doublethink , the Party taught that the proles were natural inferiors who must be kept in subjection , like animals , by the application of a few simple rules .
  1303. gold In reality very little was known about the proles .
  1304. gold seed It was not necessary to know much .
  1305. gold seed So long as they continued to work and breed , their other activities were without importance .
  1306. gold Left to themselves , like cattle turned loose upon the plains of Argentina , they had reverted to a style of life that appeared to be natural to them , a sort of ancestral pattern .
  1307. gold They were born , they grew up in the gutters , they went to work at twelve , they passed through a brief blossoming-period of beauty and sexual desire , they married at twenty , they were middle-aged at thirty , they died , for the most part , at sixty .
  1308. gold Heavy physical work , the care of home and children , petty quarrels with neighbours , films , football , beer , and above all , gambling , filled up the horizon of their minds .
  1309. gold To keep them in control was not difficult .
  1310. gold A few agents of the Thought Police moved always among them , spreading false rumours and marking down and eliminating the few individuals who were judged capable of becoming dangerous ; but no attempt was made to indoctrinate them with the ideology of the Party .
  1311. gold seed It was not desirable that the proles should have strong political feelings .
  1312. gold All that was required of them was a primitive patriotism which could be appealed to whenever it was necessary to make them accept longer working-hours or shorter rations .
  1313. gold And even when they became discontented , as they sometimes did , their discontent led nowhere , because being without general ideas , they could only focus it on petty specific grievances .
  1314. gold The larger evils invariably escaped their notice .
  1315. gold The great majority of proles did not even have telescreens in their homes .
  1316. gold seed Even the civil police interfered with them very little .
  1317. gold There was a vast amount of criminality in London , a whole world-within-a-world of thieves , bandits , prostitutes , drug-peddlers , and racketeers of every description ; but since it all happened among the proles themselves , it was of no importance .
  1318. gold In all questions of morals they were allowed to follow their ancestral code .
  1319. gold The sexual puritanism of the Party was not imposed upon them .
  1320. gold Promiscuity went unpunished , divorce was permitted .
  1321. gold For that matter , even religious worship would have been permitted if the proles had shown any sign of needing or wanting it .
  1322. gold They were beneath suspicion .
  1323. gold As the Party slogan put it : `` Proles and animals are free . ''
  1324. gold Winston reached down and cautiously scratched his varicose ulcer .
  1325. gold It had begun itching again .
  1326. gold seed The thing you invariably came back to was the impossibility of knowing what life before the Revolution had really been like .
  1327. gold He took out of the drawer a copy of a children 's history textbook which he had borrowed from Mrs Parsons , and began copying a passage into the diary :
  1328. gold `` In the old days '' [ it ran ] , `` before the glorious Revolution , London was not the beautiful city that we know today . ''
  1329. gold `` It was a dark , dirty , miserable place where hardly anybody had enough to eat and where hundreds and thousands of poor people had no boots on their feet and not even a roof to sleep under . ''
  1330. gold `` Children no older than you had to work twelve hours a day for cruel masters who flogged them with whips if they worked too slowly and fed them on nothing but stale breadcrusts and water . ''
  1331. gold `` But in among all this terrible poverty there were just a few great big beautiful houses that were lived in by rich men who had as many as thirty servants to look after them . ''
  1332. gold `` These rich men were called capitalists . ''
  1333. gold `` They were fat , ugly men with wicked faces , like the one in the picture on the opposite page . ''
  1334. gold `` You can see that he is dressed in a long black coat which was called a frock coat , and a queer , shiny hat shaped like a stovepipe , which was called a top hat . ''
  1335. gold `` This was the uniform of the capitalists , and no one else was allowed to wear it . ''
  1336. gold `` The capitalists owned everything in the world , and everyone else was their slave . ''
  1337. gold `` They owned all the land , all the houses , all the factories , and all the money . ''
  1338. gold `` If anyone disobeyed them they could throw them into prison , or they could take his job away and starve him to death . ''
  1339. gold `` When any ordinary person spoke to a capitalist he had to cringe and bow to him , and take off his cap and address him as Sir . ''
  1340. gold `` The chief of all the capitalists was called the King and - ''
  1341. gold But he knew the rest of the catalogue .
  1342. gold There would be mention of the bishops in their lawn sleeves , the judges in their ermine robes , the pillory , the stocks , the treadmill , the cat-o'-nine tails , the Lord Mayor 's Banquet , and the practice of kissing the Pope 's toe .
  1343. gold There was also something called the jus_primae_noctis , which would probably not be mentioned in a textbook for children .
  1344. gold It was the law by which every capitalist had the right to sleep with any woman working in one of his factories .
  1345. gold How could you tell how much of it was lies ?
  1346. gold It might be true that the average human being was better off now than he had been before the Revolution .
  1347. gold The only evidence to the contrary was the mute protest in your own bones , the instinctive feeling that the conditions you lived in were intolerable and that at some other time they must have been different .
  1348. gold It struck him that the truly characteristic thing about modern life was not its cruelty and insecurity , but simply its bareness , its dinginess , its listlessness .
  1349. gold Life , if you looked about you , bore no resemblance not only to the lies that streamed out of the telescreens , but even to the ideals that the Party was trying to achieve .
  1350. gold Great areas of it , even for a Party member , were neutral and non-political , a matter of slogging through dreary jobs , fighting for a place on the Tube , darning a worn-out sock , cadging a saccharine tablet , saving a cigarette end .
  1351. gold The ideal set up by the Party was something huge , terrible , and glittering - a world of steel and concrete , of monstrous machines and terrifying weapons - a nation of warriors and fanatics , marching forward in perfect unity , all thinking the same thoughts and shouting the same slogans , perpetually working , fighting , triumphing , persecuting - three hundred million people all with the same face .
  1352. gold The reality was decaying , dingy cities where underfed people shuffled to and fro in leaky shoes , in patched-up nineteenth-century houses that smelt always of cabbage and bad lavatories .
  1353. gold He seemed to see a vision of London , vast and ruinous , city of a million dustbins , and mixed up with it was a picture of Mrs Parsons , a woman with lined face and wispy hair , fiddling helplessly with a blocked waste-pipe .
  1354. gold He reached down and scratched his ankle again .
  1355. gold Day and night the telescreens bruised your ears with statistics proving that people today had more food , more clothes , better houses , better recreations - that they lived longer , worked shorter hours , were bigger , healthier , stronger , happier , more intelligent , better educated , than the people of fifty years ago .
  1356. gold Not a word of it could ever be proved or disproved .
  1357. gold The Party claimed , for example , that today 40 per cent of adult proles were literate : before the Revolution , it was said , the number had only been 15 per cent .
  1358. gold seed The Party claimed that the infant mortality rate was now only 160 per thousand , whereas before the Revolution it had been 300 - and so it went on .
  1359. gold It was like a single equation with two unknowns .
  1360. gold seed It might very well be that literally every word in the history books , even the things that one accepted without question , was pure fantasy .
  1361. gold For all he knew there might never have been any such law as the jus_primae_noctis , or any such creature as a capitalist , or any such garment as a top hat .
  1362. gold Everything faded into mist .
  1363. gold The past was erased , the erasure was forgotten , the lie became truth .
  1364. gold Just once in his life he had possessed - after the event : that was what counted - concrete , unmistakable evidence of an act of falsification .
  1365. gold seed He had held it between his fingers for as long as thirty seconds .
  1366. gold In 1973 , it must have been - at any rate , it was at about the time when he and Katharine had parted .
  1367. gold But the really relevant date was seven or eight years earlier .
  1368. gold The story really began in the middle sixties , the period of the great purges in which the original leaders of the Revolution were wiped out once and for all .
  1369. gold By 1970 none of them was left , except Big Brother himself .
  1370. gold All the rest had by that time been exposed as traitors and counter-revolutionaries .
  1371. gold Goldstein had fled and was hiding no one knew where , and of the others , a few had simply disappeared , while the majority had been executed after spectacular public trials at which they made confession of their crimes .
  1372. gold seed Among the last survivors were three men named Jones , Aaronson , and Rutherford .
  1373. gold seed It must have been in 1965 that these three had been arrested .
  1374. gold As often happened , they had vanished for a year or more , so that one did not know whether they were alive or dead , and then had suddenly been brought forth to incriminate themselves in the usual way .
  1375. gold They had confessed to intelligence with the enemy ( at that date , too , the enemy was Eurasia ) , embezzlement of public funds , the murder of various trusted Party members , intrigues against the leadership of Big Brother which had started long before the Revolution happened , and acts of sabotage causing the death of hundreds of thousands of people .
  1376. gold After confessing to these things they had been pardoned , reinstated in the Party , and given posts which were in fact sinecures but which sounded important .
  1377. gold All three had written long , abject articles in the Times , analysing the reasons for their defection and promising to make amends .
  1378. gold seed Some time after their release Winston had actually seen all three of them in the Chestnut Tree Café .
  1379. gold He remembered the sort of terrified fascination with which he had watched them out of the corner of his eye .
  1380. gold They were men far older than himself , relics of the ancient world , almost the last great figures left over from the heroic days of the Party .
  1381. gold The glamour of the underground struggle and the civil war still faintly clung to them .
  1382. gold He had the feeling , though already at that time facts and dates were growing blurry , that he had known their names years earlier than he had known that of Big Brother .
  1383. gold But also they were outlaws , enemies , untouchables , doomed with absolute certainty to extinction within a year or two .
  1384. gold No one who had once fallen into the hands of the Thought Police ever escaped in the end .
  1385. gold They were corpses waiting to be sent back to the grave .
  1386. gold There was no one at any of the tables nearest to them .
  1387. gold It was not wise even to be seen in the neighbourhood of such people .
  1388. gold seed They were sitting in silence before glasses of the gin flavoured with cloves which was the speciality of the café .
  1389. gold Of the three , it was Rutherford whose appearance had most impressed Winston .
  1390. gold seed Rutherford had once been a famous caricaturist , whose brutal cartoons had helped to inflame popular opinion before and during the Revolution .
  1391. gold seed Even now , at long intervals , his cartoons were appearing in the Times .
  1392. gold They were simply an imitation of his earlier manner , and curiously lifeless and unconvincing .
  1393. gold Always they were a rehashing of the ancient themes - slum tenements , starving children , street battles , capitalists in top hats - even on the barricades the capitalists still seemed to cling to their top hats an endless , hopeless effort to get back into the past .
  1394. gold He was a monstrous man , with a mane of greasy grey hair , his face pouched and seamed , with thick negroid lips .
  1395. gold At one time he must have been immensely strong ; now his great body was sagging , sloping , bulging , falling away in every direction .
  1396. gold He seemed to be breaking up before one 's eyes , like a mountain crumbling .
  1397. gold It was the lonely hour of fifteen .
  1398. gold Winston could not now remember how he had come to be in the café at such a time .
  1399. gold The place was almost empty .
  1400. gold A tinny music was trickling from the telescreens .
  1401. gold The three men sat in their corner almost motionless , never speaking .
  1402. gold Uncommanded , the waiter brought fresh glasses of gin .
  1403. gold There was a chessboard on the table beside them , with the pieces set out but no game started .
  1404. gold And then , for perhaps half a minute in all , something happened to the telescreens .
  1405. gold future-seed The tune that they were playing changed , and the tone of the music changed too .
  1406. gold seed There came into it - but it was something hard to describe .
  1407. gold seed It was a peculiar , cracked , braying , jeering note : in his mind Winston called it a yellow note .
  1408. gold And then a voice from the telescreen was singing :
  1409. gold seed Under the spreading chestnut tree
  1410. gold seed I sold you and you sold me :
  1411. gold seed There lie they , and here lie we
  1412. gold seed Under the spreading chestnut tree .
  1413. gold The three men never stirred .
  1414. gold But when Winston glanced again at Rutherford 's ruinous face , he saw that his eyes were full of tears .
  1415. gold And for the first time he noticed , with a kind of inward shudder , and yet not knowing at what he shuddered , that both Aaronson and Rutherford had broken noses .
  1416. gold A little later all three were re-arrested .
  1417. gold seed It appeared that they had engaged in fresh conspiracies from the very moment of their release .
  1418. gold At their second trial they confessed to all their old crimes over again , with a whole string of new ones .
  1419. gold They were executed , and their fate was recorded in the Party histories , a warning to posterity .
  1420. gold About five years after this , in 1973 , Winston was unrolling a wad of documents which had just flopped out of the pneumatic tube on to his desk when he came on a fragment of paper which had evidently been slipped in among the others and then forgotten .
  1421. gold seed The instant he had flattened it out he saw its significance .
  1422. gold It was a half-page torn out of the Times of about ten years earlier - the top half of the page , so that it included the date - and it contained a photograph of the delegates at some Party function in New York .
  1423. gold Prominent in the middle of the group were Jones , Aaronson , and Rutherford .
  1424. gold seed There was no mistaking them , in any case their names were in the caption at the bottom .
  1425. gold seed The point was that at both trials all three men had confessed that on that date they had been on Eurasian soil .
  1426. gold They had flown from a secret airfield in Canada to a rendezvous somewhere in Siberia , and had conferred with members of the Eurasian General Staff , to whom they had betrayed important military secrets .
  1427. gold The date had stuck in Winston 's memory because it chanced to be midsummer day ; but the whole story must be on record in countless other places as well .
  1428. gold There was only one possible conclusion : the confessions were lies .
  1429. gold Of course , this was not in itself a discovery .
  1430. gold Even at that time Winston had not imagined that the people who were wiped out in the purges had actually committed the crimes that they were accused of .
  1431. gold But this was concrete evidence ; it was a fragment of the abolished past , like a fossil bone which turns up in the wrong stratum and destroys a geological theory .
  1432. gold It was enough to blow the Party to atoms , if in some way it could have been published to the world and its significance made known .
  1433. gold future-seed He had gone straight on working .
  1434. gold seed As soon as he saw what the photograph was , and what it meant , he had covered it up with another sheet of paper .
  1435. gold Luckily , when he unrolled it , it had been upside-down from the point of view of the telescreen .
  1436. gold seed He took his scribbling pad on his knee and pushed back his chair so as to get as far away from the telescreen as possible .
  1437. gold To keep your face expressionless was not difficult , and even your breathing could be controlled , with an effort : but you could not control the beating of your heart , and the telescreen was quite delicate enough to pick it up .
  1438. gold seed He let what he judged to be ten minutes go by , tormented all the while by the fear that some accident - a sudden draught blowing across his desk , for instance - would betray him .
  1439. gold seed Then , without uncovering it again , he dropped the photograph into the memory hole , along with some other waste papers .
  1440. gold Within another minute , perhaps , it would have crumbled into ashes .
  1441. gold seed That was ten - eleven years ago .
  1442. gold Today , probably , he would have kept that photograph .
  1443. gold It was curious that the fact of having held it in his fingers seemed to him to make a difference even now , when the photograph itself , as well as the event it recorded , was only memory .
  1444. gold Was the Party 's hold upon the past less strong , he wondered , because a piece of evidence which existed no longer had once existed ?
  1445. gold But today , supposing that it could be somehow resurrected from its ashes , the photograph might not even be evidence .
  1446. gold Already , at the time when he made his discovery , Oceania was no longer at war with Eurasia , and it must have been to the agents of Eastasia that the three dead men had betrayed their country .
  1447. gold seed Since then there had been other changes - two , three , he could not remember how many .
  1448. gold Very likely the confessions had been rewritten and rewritten until the original facts and dates no longer had the smallest significance .
  1449. gold The past not only changed , but changed continuously .
  1450. gold What most afflicted him with the sense of nightmare was that he had never clearly understood why the huge imposture was undertaken .
  1451. gold The immediate advantages of falsifying the past were obvious , but the ultimate motive was mysterious .
  1452. gold He took up his pen again and wrote :
  1453. gold I understand how : I do not understand why .
  1454. gold He wondered , as he had many times wondered before , whether he himself was a lunatic .
  1455. gold Perhaps a lunatic was simply a minority of one .
  1456. gold At one time it had been a sign of madness to believe that the earth goes round the sun ; today , to believe that the past is unalterable .
  1457. gold seed He might be alone in holding that belief , and if alone , then a lunatic .
  1458. gold But the thought of being a lunatic did not greatly trouble him : the horror was that he might also be wrong .
  1459. gold He picked up the children 's history book and looked at the portrait of Big Brother which formed its frontispiece .
  1460. gold The hypnotic eyes gazed into his own .
  1461. gold It was as though some huge force were pressing down upon you - something that penetrated inside your skull , battering against your brain , frightening you out of your beliefs , persuading you , almost , to deny the evidence of your senses .
  1462. gold seed In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five , and you would have to believe it .
  1463. gold It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later : the logic of their position demanded it .
  1464. gold Not merely the validity of experience , but the very existence of external reality , was tacitly denied by their philosophy .
  1465. gold seed The heresy of heresies was common sense .
  1466. gold future-seed And what was terrifying was not that they would kill you for thinking otherwise , but that they might be right .
  1467. gold For , after all , how do we know that two and two make four ?
  1468. gold Or that the force of gravity works ?
  1469. gold Or that the past is unchangeable ?
  1470. gold If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind , and if the mind itself is controllable what then ?
  1471. gold But no !
  1472. gold His courage seemed suddenly to stiffen of its own accord .
  1473. gold The face of O'Brien , not called up by any obvious association , had floated into his mind .
  1474. gold He knew , with more certainty than before , that O'Brien was on his side .
  1475. gold seed He was writing the diary for O'Brien - to O'Brien : it was like an interminable letter which no one would ever read , but which was addressed to a particular person and took its colour from that fact .
  1476. gold seed The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears .
  1477. gold It was their final , most essential command .
  1478. gold His heart sank as he thought of the enormous power arrayed against him , the ease with which any Party intellectual would overthrow him in debate , the subtle arguments which he would not be able to understand , much less answer .
  1479. gold And yet he was in the right !
  1480. gold future-seed They were wrong and he was right .
  1481. gold seed The obvious , the silly , and the true had got to be defended .
  1482. gold Truisms are true , hold on to that !
  1483. gold The solid world exists , its laws do not change .
  1484. gold seed Stones are hard , water is wet , objects unsupported fall towards the earth 's centre .
  1485. gold seed With the feeling that he was speaking to O'Brien , and also that he was setting forth an important axiom , he wrote :
  1486. gold seed Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four .
  1487. gold seed If that is granted , all else follows .
  1488. gold seed From somewhere at the bottom of a passage the smell of roasting coffee - real coffee , not Victory Coffee - came floating out into the street .
  1489. gold Winston paused involuntarily .
  1490. gold seed For perhaps two seconds he was back in the half-forgotten world of his childhood .
  1491. gold seed Then a door banged , seeming to cut off the smell as abruptly as though it had been a sound .
  1492. gold He had walked several kilometres over pavements , and his varicose ulcer was throbbing .
  1493. gold This was the second time in three weeks that he had missed an evening at the Community Centre : a rash act , since you could be certain that the number of your attendances at the Centre was carefully checked .
  1494. gold In principle a Party member had no spare time , and was never alone except in bed .
  1495. gold It was assumed that when he was not working , eating , or sleeping he would be taking part in some kind of communal recreation : to do anything that suggested a taste for solitude , even to go for a walk by yourself , was always slightly dangerous .
  1496. gold seed There was a word for it in Newspeak : ownlife , it was called , meaning individualism and eccentricity .
  1497. gold seed But this evening as he came out of the Ministry the balminess of the April air had tempted him .
  1498. gold The sky was a warmer blue than he had seen it that year , and suddenly the long , noisy evening at the Centre , the boring , exhausting games , the lectures , the creaking camaraderie oiled by gin , had seemed intolerable .
  1499. gold On impulse he had turned away from the bus-stop and wandered off into the labyrinth of London , first south , then east , then north again , losing himself among unknown streets and hardly bothering in which direction he was going .
  1500. gold seed `` If there is hope , '' he had written in the diary , `` it lies in the proles . ''
  1501. gold The words kept coming back to him , statement of a mystical truth and a palpable absurdity .
  1502. gold He was somewhere in the vague , brown-coloured slums to the north and east of what had once been Saint Pancras Station .
  1503. gold He was walking up a cobbled street of little two-storey houses with battered doorways which gave straight on the pavement and which were somehow curiously suggestive of ratholes .
  1504. gold There were puddles of filthy water here and there among the cobbles .
  1505. gold In and out of the dark doorways , and down narrow alley-ways that branched off on either side , people swarmed in astonishing numbers - girls in full bloom , with crudely lipsticked mouths , and youths who chased the girls , and swollen waddling women who showed you what the girls would be like in ten years ' time , and old bent creatures shuffling along on splayed feet , and ragged barefooted children who played in the puddles and then scattered at angry yells from their mothers .
  1506. gold seed Perhaps a quarter of the windows in the street were broken and boarded up .
  1507. gold Most of the people paid no attention to Winston ; a few eyed him with a sort of guarded curiosity .
  1508. gold Two monstrous women with brick-red forearms folded across their aprons were talking outside a doorway .
  1509. gold Winston caught scraps of conversation as he approached .
  1510. gold seed `` `` Yes , '' I says to 'er , `` that 's all very well , '' I says . ''
  1511. gold seed `` `` But if you 'd of been in my place you 'd of done the same as what I done . '' ''
  1512. gold `` `` It 's easy to criticize , '' I says , `` but you ain't got the same problems as what I got . '' ''
  1513. gold `` Ah , '' said the other , `` that 's jest it . ''
  1514. gold `` That 's jest where it is . ''
  1515. gold The strident voices stopped abruptly .
  1516. gold The women studied him in hostile silence as he went past .
  1517. gold But it was not hostility , exactly ; merely a kind of wariness , a momentary stiffening , as at the passing of some unfamiliar animal .
  1518. gold The blue overalls of the Party could not be a common sight in a street like this .
  1519. gold Indeed , it was unwise to be seen in such places , unless you had definite business there .
  1520. gold seed The patrols might stop you if you happened to run into them .
  1521. gold future-seed `` May I see your papers , comrade ? ''
  1522. gold `` What are you doing here ? ''
  1523. gold seed `` What time did you leave work ? ''
  1524. gold seed `` Is this your usual way home ? ''
  1525. gold seed - and so on and so forth .
  1526. gold Not that there was any rule against walking home by an unusual route : but it was enough to draw attention to you if the Thought Police heard about it .
  1527. gold Suddenly the whole street was in commotion .
  1528. gold There were yells of warning from all sides .
  1529. gold People were shooting into the doorways like rabbits .
  1530. gold A young woman leapt out of a doorway a little ahead of Winston , grabbed up a tiny child playing in a puddle , whipped her apron round it , and leapt back again , all in one movement .
  1531. gold At the same instant a man in a concertina-like black suit , who had emerged from a side alley , ran towards Winston , pointing excitedly to the sky .
  1532. gold `` Steamer ! '' he yelled .
  1533. gold `` Look out , guv'nor ! ''
  1534. gold seed `` Bang over'ead ! ''
  1535. gold `` Lay down quick ! ''
  1536. gold Steamer was a nickname which , for some reason , the proles applied to rocket bombs .
  1537. gold seed Winston promptly flung himself on his face .
  1538. gold The proles were nearly always right when they gave you a warning of this kind .
  1539. gold They seemed to possess some kind of instinct which told them several seconds in advance when a rocket was coming , although the rockets supposedly travelled faster than sound .
  1540. gold Winston clasped his forearms above his head .
  1541. gold seed There was a roar that seemed to make the pavement heave ; a shower of light objects pattered on to his back .
  1542. gold seed When he stood up he found that he was covered with fragments of glass from the nearest window .
  1543. gold He walked on .
  1544. gold seed The bomb had demolished a group of houses 200 metres up the street .
  1545. gold A black plume of smoke hung in the sky , and below it a cloud of plaster dust in which a crowd was already forming around the ruins .
  1546. gold There was a little pile of plaster lying on the pavement ahead of him , and in the middle of it he could see a bright red streak .
  1547. gold When he got up to it he saw that it was a human hand severed at the wrist .
  1548. gold Apart from the bloody stump , the hand was so completely whitened as to resemble a plaster cast .
  1549. gold He kicked the thing into the gutter , and then , to avoid the crowd , turned down a side-street to the right .
  1550. gold Within three or four minutes he was out of the area which the bomb had affected , and the sordid swarming life of the streets was going on as though nothing had happened .
  1551. gold It was nearly twenty hours , and the drinking-shops which the proles frequented ( pubs , they called them ) were choked with customers .
  1552. gold From their grimy swing doors , endlessly opening and shutting , there came forth a smell of urine , sawdust , and sour beer .
  1553. gold In an angle formed by a projecting house-front three men were standing very close together , the middle one of them holding a folded-up newspaper which the other two were studying over his shoulder .
  1554. gold Even before he was near enough to make out the expression on their faces , Winston could see absorption in every line of their bodies .
  1555. gold It was obviously some serious piece of news that they were reading .
  1556. gold He was a few paces away from them when suddenly the group broke up and two of the men were in violent altercation .
  1557. gold seed For a moment they seemed almost on the point of blows .
  1558. gold `` Can't you bleeding well listen to what I say ? ''
  1559. gold `` I tell you no number ending in seven ain't won for over fourteen months ! ''
  1560. gold `` Yes , it ' as , then ! ''
  1561. gold seed `` No , it ' as not ! ''
  1562. gold `` Back 'ome I got the 'ole lot of 'em for over two years wrote down on a piece of paper . ''
  1563. gold `` I takes 'em down reg'lar as the clock . ''
  1564. gold `` An' I tell you , no number ending in seven - ''
  1565. gold `` Yes , a seven 'as won ! ''
  1566. gold `` I could pretty near tell you the bleeding number . ''
  1567. gold `` Four oh seven , it ended in . ''
  1568. gold seed `` It were in February - second week in February . ''
  1569. gold `` February your grandmother ! ''
  1570. gold seed `` I got it all down in black and white . ''
  1571. gold `` An' I tell you , no number - ''
  1572. gold seed `` Oh , pack it in ! '' said the third man .
  1573. gold They were talking about the Lottery .
  1574. gold Winston looked back when he had gone thirty metres .
  1575. gold They were still arguing , with vivid , passionate faces .
  1576. gold The Lottery , with its weekly pay-out of enormous prizes , was the one public event to which the proles paid serious attention .
  1577. gold seed It was probable that there were some millions of proles for whom the Lottery was the principal if not the only reason for remaining alive .
  1578. gold seed It was their delight , their folly , their anodyne , their intellectual stimulant .
  1579. gold Where the Lottery was concerned , even people who could barely read and write seemed capable of intricate calculations and staggering feats of memory .
  1580. gold There was a whole tribe of men who made a living simply by selling systems , forecasts , and lucky amulets .
  1581. gold Winston had nothing to do with the running of the Lottery , which was managed by the Ministry of Plenty , but he was aware ( indeed everyone in the Party was aware ) that the prizes were largely imaginary .
  1582. gold seed Only small sums were actually paid out , the winners of the big prizes being non-existent persons .
  1583. gold In the absence of any real intercommunication between one part of Oceania and another , this was not difficult to arrange .
  1584. gold But if there was hope , it lay in the proles .
  1585. gold You had to cling on to that .
  1586. gold When you put it in words it sounded reasonable : it was when you looked at the human beings passing you on the pavement that it became an act of faith .
  1587. gold seed The street into which he had turned ran downhill .
  1588. gold seed He had a feeling that he had been in this neighbourhood before , and that there was a main thoroughfare not far away .
  1589. gold From somewhere ahead there came a din of shouting voices .
  1590. gold The street took a sharp turn and then ended in a flight of steps which led down into a sunken alley where a few stallkeepers were selling tired-looking vegetables .
  1591. gold At this moment Winston remembered where he was .
  1592. gold The alley led out into the main street , and down the next turning , not five minutes away , was the junk-shop where he had bought the blank book which was now his diary .
  1593. gold And in a small stationer 's shop not far away he had bought his penholder and his bottle of ink .
  1594. gold He paused for a moment at the top of the steps .
  1595. gold On the opposite side of the alley there was a dingy little pub whose windows appeared to be frosted over but in reality were merely coated with dust .
  1596. gold A very old man , bent but active , with white moustaches that bristled forward like those of a prawn , pushed open the swing door and went in .
  1597. gold seed As Winston stood watching , it occurred to him that the old man , who must be eighty at the least , had already been middle-aged when the Revolution happened .
  1598. gold He and a few others like him were the last links that now existed with the vanished world of capitalism .
  1599. gold In the Party itself there were not many people left whose ideas had been formed before the Revolution .
  1600. gold The older generation had mostly been wiped out in the great purges of the fifties and sixties , and the few who survived had long ago been terrified into complete intellectual surrender .
  1601. gold If there was any one still alive who could give you a truthful account of conditions in the early part of the century , it could only be a prole .
  1602. gold Suddenly the passage from the history book that he had copied into his diary came back into Winston 's mind , and a lunatic impulse took hold of him .
  1603. gold He would go into the pub , he would scrape acquaintance with that old man and question him .
  1604. gold He would say to him : `` Tell me about your life when you were a boy . ''
  1605. gold `` What was it like in those days ? ''
  1606. gold seed `` Were things better than they are now , or were they worse ? ''
  1607. gold Hurriedly , lest he should have time to become frightened , he descended the steps and crossed the narrow street .
  1608. gold It was madness of course .
  1609. gold As usual , there was no definite rule against talking to proles and frequenting their pubs , but it was far too unusual an action to pass unnoticed .
  1610. gold If the patrols appeared he might plead an attack of faintness , but it was not likely that they would believe him .
  1611. gold seed He pushed open the door , and a hideous cheesy smell of sour beer hit him in the face .
  1612. gold As he entered the din of voices dropped to about half its volume .
  1613. gold Behind his back he could feel everyone eyeing his blue overalls .
  1614. gold seed A game of darts which was going on at the other end of the room interrupted itself for perhaps as much as thirty seconds .
  1615. gold The old man whom he had followed was standing at the bar , having some kind of altercation with the barman , a large , stout , hook-nosed young man with enormous forearms .
  1616. gold A knot of others , standing round with glasses in their hands , were watching the scene .
  1617. gold seed `` I arst you civil enough , didn't I ? ''
  1618. gold seed said the old man , straightening his shoulders pugnaciously .
  1619. gold seed `` You telling me you ain't got a pint mug in the 'ole bleeding boozer ? ''
  1620. gold seed `` And what in hell 's name is a pint ? ''
  1621. gold seed said the barman , leaning forward with the tips of his fingers on the counter .
  1622. gold `` Ark at 'im ! ''
  1623. gold `` Calls 'isself a barman and don't know what a pint is ! ''
  1624. gold seed `` Why , a pint 's the 'alf of a quart , and there 's four quarts to the gallon . ''
  1625. gold `` 'Ave to teach you the A , B , C next . ''
  1626. gold `` Never heard of 'em , '' said the barman shortly .
  1627. gold `` Litre and half litre - that 's all we serve . ''
  1628. gold `` There 's the glasses on the shelf in front of you . ''
  1629. gold `` I likes a pint , '' persisted the old man .
  1630. gold `` You could 'a drawed me off a pint easy enough . ''
  1631. gold seed `` We didn't 'ave these bleeding litres when I was a young man . ''
  1632. gold `` When you were a young man we were all living in the treetops , '' said the barman , with a glance at the other customers .
  1633. gold seed There was a shout of laughter , and the uneasiness caused by Winston 's entry seemed to disappear .
  1634. gold The old man 's whitestubbled face had flushed pink .
  1635. gold seed He turned away , muttering to himself , and bumped into Winston .
  1636. gold seed Winston caught him gently by the arm .
  1637. gold seed `` May I offer you a drink ? ''
  1638. gold seed he said .
  1639. gold `` You 're a gent , '' said the other , straightening his shoulders again .
  1640. gold He appeared not to have noticed Winston 's blue overalls .
  1641. gold seed `` Pint ! '' he added aggressively to the barman .
  1642. gold seed `` Pint of wallop . ''
  1643. gold The barman swished two half-litres of dark-brown beer into thick glasses which he had rinsed in a bucket under the counter .
  1644. gold Beer was the only drink you could get in prole pubs .
  1645. gold seed The proles were supposed not to drink gin , though in practice they could get hold of it easily enough .
  1646. gold seed The game of darts was in full swing again , and the knot of men at the bar had begun talking about lottery tickets .
  1647. gold Winston 's presence was forgotten for a moment .
  1648. gold There was a deal table under the window where he and the old man could talk without fear of being overheard .
  1649. gold It was horribly dangerous , but at any rate there was no telescreen in the room , a point he had made sure of as soon as he came in .
  1650. gold `` 'E could 'a drawed me off a pint , '' grumbled the old man as he settled down behind a glass .
  1651. gold `` A 'alf litre ain't enough . ''
  1652. gold `` It don't satisfy . ''
  1653. gold `` And a 'ole litre 's too much . ''
  1654. gold `` It starts my bladder running . ''
  1655. gold `` Let alone the price . ''
  1656. gold `` You must have seen great changes since you were a young man , '' said Winston tentatively .
  1657. gold The old man 's pale blue eyes moved from the darts board to the bar , and from the bar to the door of the Gents , as though it were in the bar-room that he expected the changes to have occurred .
  1658. gold `` The beer was better , '' he said finally .
  1659. gold `` And cheaper ! ''
  1660. gold seed `` When I was a young man , mild beer - wallop we used to call it - was fourpence a pint . ''
  1661. gold `` That was before the war , of course . ''
  1662. gold `` Which war was that ? ''
  1663. gold said Winston .
  1664. gold `` It 's all wars , '' said the old man vaguely .
  1665. gold He took up his glass , and his shoulders straightened again .
  1666. gold `` 'Ere 's wishing you the very best of 'ealth ! ''
  1667. gold In his lean throat the sharp-pointed Adam 's apple made a surprisingly rapid up-and-down movement , and the beer vanished .
  1668. gold seed Winston went to the bar and came back with two more half-litres .
  1669. gold The old man appeared to have forgotten his prejudice against drinking a full litre .
  1670. gold `` You are very much older than I am , '' said Winston .
  1671. gold `` You must have been a grown man before I was born . ''
  1672. gold `` You can remember what it was like in the old days , before the Revolution . ''
  1673. gold `` People of my age don't really know anything about those times . ''
  1674. gold `` We can only read about them in books , and what it says in the books may not be true . ''
  1675. gold seed `` I should like your opinion on that . ''
  1676. gold seed `` The history books say that life before the Revolution was completely different from what it is now . ''
  1677. gold `` There was the most terrible oppression , injustice , poverty worse than anything we can imagine . ''
  1678. gold `` Here in London , the great mass of the people never had enough to eat from birth to death . ''
  1679. gold seed `` Half of them hadn't even boots on their feet . ''
  1680. gold seed `` They worked twelve hours a day , they left school at nine , they slept ten in a room . ''
  1681. gold `` And at the same time there were a very few people , only a few thousands - the capitalists , they were called - who were rich and powerful . ''
  1682. gold `` They owned everything that there was to own . ''
  1683. gold `` They lived in great gorgeous houses with thirty servants , they rode about in motor-cars and four-horse carriages , they drank champagne , they wore top hats - ''
  1684. gold seed The old man brightened suddenly .
  1685. gold seed `` Top 'ats ! '' he said .
  1686. gold future-seed `` Funny you should mention 'em . ''
  1687. gold future-seed `` The same thing come into my 'ead only yesterday , I dono why . ''
  1688. gold seed `` I was jest thinking , I ain't seen a top 'at in years . ''
  1689. gold `` Gorn right out , they 'ave . ''
  1690. gold `` The last time I wore one was at my sister-in-law 's funeral . ''
  1691. gold `` And that was - well , I couldn't give you the date , but it must 'a been fifty years ago . ''
  1692. gold `` Of course it was only 'ired for the occasion , you understand . ''
  1693. gold `` It isn't very important about the top hats , '' said Winston patiently .
  1694. gold `` The point is , these capitalists - they and a few lawyers and priests and so forth who lived on them - were the lords of the earth . ''
  1695. gold `` Everything existed for their benefit . ''
  1696. gold `` You - the ordinary people , the workers - were their slaves . ''
  1697. gold seed `` They could do what they liked with you . ''
  1698. gold future-seed `` They could ship you off to Canada like cattle . ''
  1699. gold seed `` They could sleep with your daughters if they chose . ''
  1700. gold `` They could order you to be flogged with something called a cat-o'-nine tails . ''
  1701. gold `` You had to take your cap off when you passed them . ''
  1702. gold `` Every capitalist went about with a gang of lackeys who - ''
  1703. gold The old man brightened again .
  1704. gold `` Lackeys ! '' he said .
  1705. gold `` Now there 's a word I ain't 'eard since ever so long . ''
  1706. gold `` Lackeys ! ''
  1707. gold seed `` That reg'lar takes me back , that does . ''
  1708. gold `` I recollect oh , donkey 's years ago - I used to sometimes go to 'Yde_Park of a Sunday afternoon to 'ear the blokes making speeches . ''
  1709. gold `` Salvation Army , Roman Catholics , Jews , Indians - all sorts there was . ''
  1710. gold `` And there was one bloke - well , I couldn't give you 'is name , but a real powerful speaker 'e was . ''
  1711. gold `` 'E didn't 'alf give it 'em ! ''
  1712. gold `` `` Lackeys ! '' 'e says , `` lackeys of the bourgeoisie ! '' ''
  1713. gold seed `` Flunkies of the ruling class ! ''
  1714. gold `` Parasites - that was another of them . ''
  1715. gold `` And 'yenas - 'e definitely called 'em 'yenas . ''
  1716. gold `` Of course 'e was referring to the Labour Party , you understand . ''
  1717. gold Winston had the feeling that they were talking at crosspurposes .
  1718. gold `` What I really wanted to know was this , '' he said .
  1719. gold `` Do you feel that you have more freedom now than you had in those days ? ''
  1720. gold `` Are you treated more like a human being ? ''
  1721. gold `` In the old days , the rich people , the people at the top - ''
  1722. gold `` The 'Ouse of Lords , '' put in the old man reminiscently .
  1723. gold `` The House of Lords , if you like . ''
  1724. gold `` What I am asking is , were these people able to treat you as an inferior , simply because they were rich and you were poor ? ''
  1725. gold `` Is it a fact , for instance , that you had to call them Sir and take off your cap when you passed them ? ''
  1726. gold The old man appeared to think deeply .
  1727. gold He drank off about a quarter of his beer before answering .
  1728. gold future-seed `` Yes , '' he said .
  1729. gold seed `` They liked you to touch your cap to 'em . ''
  1730. gold `` It showed respect , like . ''
  1731. gold `` I didn't agree with it , myself , but I done it often enough . ''
  1732. gold seed `` Had to , as you might say . ''
  1733. gold `` And was it usual - I 'm only quoting what I 've read in history books - was it usual for these people and their servants to push you off the pavement into the gutter ? ''
  1734. gold `` One of 'em pushed me once , '' said the old man .
  1735. gold seed `` I recollect it as if it was yesterday . ''
  1736. gold `` It was Boat Race night - terribly rowdy they used to get on Boat Race night - and I bumps into a young bloke on Shaftesbury Avenue . ''
  1737. gold `` Quite a gent , 'e was - dress shirt , top 'at , black overcoat . ''
  1738. gold `` 'E was kind of zig-zagging across the pavement , and I bumps into 'im accidental-like . ''
  1739. gold `` 'E says , `` Why can't you look where you 're going ? '' ''
  1740. gold `` 'e says . ''
  1741. gold `` I say , `` Ju think you 've bought the bleeding pavement ? '' ''
  1742. gold `` 'E says , `` I 'll twist your bloody 'ead off if you get fresh with me . '' ''
  1743. gold `` I says , `` You 're drunk . '' ''
  1744. gold `` `` I 'll give you in charge in 'alf a minute , '' I says . ''
  1745. gold `` An' if you 'll believe me , 'e puts 'is 'and on my chest and gives me a shove as pretty near sent me under the wheels of a bus . ''
  1746. gold `` Well , I was young in them days , and I was going to 'ave fetched 'im one , only - ''
  1747. gold seed A sense of helplessness took hold of Winston .
  1748. gold The old man 's memory was nothing but a rubbish-heap of details .
  1749. gold One could question him all day without getting any real information .
  1750. gold The Party histories might still be true , after a fashion : they might even be completely true .
  1751. gold He made a last attempt .
  1752. gold `` Perhaps I have not made myself clear , '' he said .
  1753. gold seed `` What I 'm trying to say is this . ''
  1754. gold future-seed `` You have been alive a very long time ; you lived half your life before the Revolution . ''
  1755. gold seed `` In 1925 , for instance , you were already grown up . ''
  1756. gold `` Would you say from what you can remember , that life in 1925 was better than it is now , or worse ? ''
  1757. gold seed `` If you could choose , would you prefer to live then or now ? ''
  1758. gold The old man looked meditatively at the darts board .
  1759. gold seed He finished up his beer , more slowly than before .
  1760. gold When he spoke it was with a tolerant philosophical air , as though the beer had mellowed him .
  1761. gold seed `` I know what you expect me to say , '' he said .
  1762. gold seed `` You expect me to say as I 'd sooner be young again . ''
  1763. gold seed `` Most people 'd say they 'd sooner be young , if you arst ' 'em . ''
  1764. gold seed `` You got your 'ealth and strength when you 're young . ''
  1765. gold seed `` When you get to my time of life you ain't never well . ''
  1766. gold seed `` I suffer something wicked from my feet , and my bladder 's jest terrible . ''
  1767. gold `` Six and seven times a night it 'as me out of bed . ''
  1768. gold `` On the other 'and , there 's great advantages in being a old man . ''
  1769. gold seed `` You ain't got the same worries . ''
  1770. gold `` No truck with women , and that 's a great thing . ''
  1771. gold `` I ain't 'ad a woman for near on thirty year , if you 'd credit it . ''
  1772. gold `` Nor wanted to , what 's more . ''
  1773. gold Winston sat back against the window-sill .
  1774. gold It was no use going on .
  1775. gold He was about to buy some more beer when the old man suddenly got up and shuffled rapidly into the stinking urinal at the side of the room .
  1776. gold seed The extra half-litre was already working on him .
  1777. gold seed Winston sat for a minute or two gazing at his empty glass , and hardly noticed when his feet carried him out into the street again .
  1778. gold seed Within twenty years at the most , he reflected , the huge and simple question , `` Was life better before the Revolution than it is now ? ''
  1779. gold seed would have ceased once and for all to be answerable .
  1780. gold But in effect it was unanswerable even now , since the few scattered survivors from the ancient world were incapable of comparing one age with another .
  1781. gold They remembered a million useless things , a quarrel with a workmate , a hunt for a lost bicycle pump , the expression on a long-dead sister 's face , the swirls of dust on a windy morning seventy years ago : but all the relevant facts were outside the range of their vision .
  1782. gold seed They were like the ant , which can see small objects but not large ones .
  1783. gold And when memory failed and written records were falsified - when that happened , the claim of the Party to have improved the conditions of human life had got to be accepted , because there did not exist , and never again could exist , any standard against which it could be tested .
  1784. gold At this moment his train of thought stopped abruptly .
  1785. gold seed He halted and looked up .
  1786. gold He was in a narrow street , with a few dark little shops , interspersed among dwelling-houses .
  1787. gold Immediately above his head there hung three discoloured metal balls which looked as if they had once been gilded .
  1788. gold He seemed to know the place .
  1789. gold future-seed Of course !
  1790. gold seed He was standing outside the junk-shop where he had bought the diary .
  1791. gold A twinge of fear went through him .
  1792. gold It had been a sufficiently rash act to buy the book in the beginning , and he had sworn never to come near the place again .
  1793. gold And yet the instant that he allowed his thoughts to wander , his feet had brought him back here of their own accord .
  1794. gold It was precisely against suicidal impulses of this kind that he had hoped to guard himself by opening the diary .
  1795. gold At the same time he noticed that although it was nearly twenty-one hours the shop was still open .
  1796. gold With the feeling that he would be less conspicuous inside than hanging about on the pavement , he stepped through the doorway .
  1797. gold If questioned , he could plausibly say that he was trying to buy razor blades .
  1798. gold seed The proprietor had just lighted a hanging oil lamp which gave off an unclean but friendly smell .
  1799. gold He was a man of perhaps sixty , frail and bowed , with a long , benevolent nose , and mild eyes distorted by thick spectacles .
  1800. gold seed His hair was almost white , but his eyebrows were bushy and still black .
  1801. gold His spectacles , his gentle , fussy movements , and the fact that he was wearing an aged jacket of black velvet , gave him a vague air of intellectuality , as though he had been some kind of literary man , or perhaps a musician .
  1802. gold seed His voice was soft , as though faded , and his accent less debased than that of the majority of proles .
  1803. gold `` I recognized you on the pavement , '' he said immediately .
  1804. gold `` You 're the gentleman that bought the young lady 's keepsake album . ''
  1805. gold `` That was a beautiful bit of paper , that was . ''
  1806. gold seed `` Cream-laid , it used to be called . ''
  1807. gold `` There 's been no paper like that made for - oh , I dare say fifty years . ''
  1808. gold He peered at Winston over the top of his spectacles .
  1809. gold `` Is there anything special I can do for you ? ''
  1810. gold `` Or did you just want to look round ? ''
  1811. gold `` I was passing , '' said Winston vaguely .
  1812. gold `` I just looked in . ''
  1813. gold `` I don't want anything in particular . ''
  1814. gold future-seed `` It 's just as well , '' said the other , `` because I don't suppose I could have satisfied you . ''
  1815. gold seed He made an apologetic gesture with his softpalmed hand .
  1816. gold seed `` You see how it is ; an empty shop , you might say . ''
  1817. gold seed `` Between you and me , the antique trade 's just about finished . ''
  1818. gold `` No demand any longer , and no stock either . ''
  1819. gold `` Furniture , china , glass it 's all been broken up by degrees . ''
  1820. gold `` And of course the metal stuff 's mostly been melted down . ''
  1821. gold `` I haven't seen a brass candlestick in years . ''
  1822. gold The tiny interior of the shop was in fact uncomfortably full , but there was almost nothing in it of the slightest value .
  1823. gold The floorspace was very restricted , because all round the walls were stacked innumerable dusty picture-frames .
  1824. gold In the window there were trays of nuts and bolts , worn-out chisels , penknives with broken blades , tarnished watches that did not even pretend to be in going order , and other miscellaneous rubbish .
  1825. gold Only on a small table in the corner was there a litter of odds and ends - lacquered snuffboxes , agate brooches , and the like - which looked as though they might include something interesting .
  1826. gold seed As Winston wandered towards the table his eye was caught by a round , smooth thing that gleamed softly in the lamplight , and he picked it up .
  1827. gold It was a heavy lump of glass , curved on one side , flat on the other , making almost a hemisphere .
  1828. gold There was a peculiar softness , as of rainwater , in both the colour and the texture of the glass .
  1829. gold At the heart of it , magnified by the curved surface , there was a strange , pink , convoluted object that recalled a rose or a sea anemone .
  1830. gold seed `` What is it ? ''
  1831. gold seed said Winston , fascinated .
  1832. gold `` That 's coral , that is , '' said the old man .
  1833. gold seed `` It must have come from the Indian Ocean . ''
  1834. gold `` They used to kind of embed it in the glass . ''
  1835. gold seed `` That wasn't made less than a hundred years ago . ''
  1836. gold seed `` More , by the look of it . ''
  1837. gold seed `` It 's a beautiful thing , '' said Winston .
  1838. gold `` It is a beautiful thing , '' said the other appreciatively .
  1839. gold `` But there 's not many that 'd say so nowadays . ''
  1840. gold He coughed .
  1841. gold `` Now , if it so happened that you wanted to buy it , that 'd cost you four dollars . ''
  1842. gold `` I can remember when a thing like that would have fetched eight pounds , and eight pounds was - well , I can't work it out , but it was a lot of money . ''
  1843. gold `` But who cares about genuine antiques nowadays even the few that 's left ? ''
  1844. gold seed Winston immediately paid over the four dollars and slid the coveted thing into his pocket .
  1845. gold What appealed to him about it was not so much its beauty as the air it seemed to possess of belonging to an age quite different from the present one .
  1846. gold The soft , rainwatery glass was not like any glass that he had ever seen .
  1847. gold The thing was doubly attractive because of its apparent uselessness , though he could guess that it must once have been intended as a paperweight .
  1848. gold It was very heavy in his pocket , but fortunately it did not make much of a bulge .
  1849. gold It was a queer thing , even a compromising thing , for a Party member to have in his possession .
  1850. gold Anything old , and for that matter anything beautiful , was always vaguely suspect .
  1851. gold The old man had grown noticeably more cheerful after receiving the four dollars .
  1852. gold seed Winston realized that he would have accepted three or even two .
  1853. gold future-seed `` There 's another room upstairs that you might care to take a look at , '' he said .
  1854. gold future-seed `` There 's not much in it . ''
  1855. gold seed `` Just a few pieces . ''
  1856. gold seed `` We 'll do with a light if we 're going upstairs . ''
  1857. gold He lit another lamp , and , with bowed back , led the way slowly up the steep and worn stairs and along a tiny passage , into a room which did not give on the street but looked out on a cobbled yard and a forest of chimney-pots .
  1858. gold Winston noticed that the furniture was still arranged as though the room were meant to be lived in .
  1859. gold seed There was a strip of carpet on the floor , a picture or two on the walls , and a deep , slatternly arm-chair drawn up to the fireplace .
  1860. gold seed An old-fashioned glass clock with a twelve-hour face was ticking away on the mantelpiece .
  1861. gold Under the window , and occupying nearly a quarter of the room , was an enormous bed with the mattress still on it .
  1862. gold `` We lived here till my wife died , '' said the old man half apologetically .
  1863. gold `` I 'm selling the furniture off by little and little . ''
  1864. gold `` Now that 's a beautiful mahogany bed , or at least it would be if you could get the bugs out of it . ''
  1865. gold seed `` But I dare say you 'd find it a little bit cumbersome . ''
  1866. gold He was holding the lamp high up , so as to illuminate the whole room , and in the warm dim light the place looked curiously inviting .
  1867. gold The thought flitted through Winston 's mind that it would probably be quite easy to rent the room for a few dollars a week , if he dared to take the risk .
  1868. gold seed It was a wild , impossible notion , to be abandoned as soon as thought of ; but the room had awakened in him a sort of nostalgia , a sort of ancestral memory .
  1869. gold It seemed to him that he knew exactly what it felt like to sit in a room like this , in an arm-chair beside an open fire with your feet in the fender and a kettle on the hob ; utterly alone , utterly secure , with nobody watching you , no voice pursuing you , no sound except the singing of the kettle and the friendly ticking of the clock .
  1870. gold `` There 's no telescreen ! '' he could not help murmuring .
  1871. gold `` Ah , '' said the old man , `` I never had one of those things . ''
  1872. gold seed `` Too expensive . ''
  1873. gold `` And I never seemed to feel the need of it , somehow . ''
  1874. gold `` Now that 's a nice gateleg table in the corner there . ''
  1875. gold `` Though of course you 'd have to put new hinges on it if you wanted to use the flaps . ''
  1876. gold There was a small bookcase in the other corner , and Winston had already gravitated towards it .
  1877. gold It contained nothing but rubbish .
  1878. gold The hunting-down and destruction of books had been done with the same thoroughness in the prole quarters as everywhere else .
  1879. gold It was very unlikely that there existed anywhere in Oceania a copy of a book printed earlier than 1960 .
  1880. gold The old man , still carrying the lamp , was standing in front of a picture in a rosewood frame which hung on the other side of the fireplace , opposite the bed .
  1881. gold `` Now , if you happen to be interested in old prints at all - '' he began delicately .
  1882. gold seed Winston came across to examine the picture .
  1883. gold It was a steel engraving of an oval building with rectangular windows , and a small tower in front .
  1884. gold There was a railing running round the building , and at the rear end there was what appeared to be a statue .
  1885. gold Winston gazed at it for some moments .
  1886. gold It seemed vaguely familiar , though he did not remember the statue .
  1887. gold `` The frame 's fixed to the wall , '' said the old man , `` but I could unscrew it for you , I dare say . ''
  1888. gold seed `` I know that building , '' said Winston finally .
  1889. gold seed `` It 's a ruin now . ''
  1890. gold future-seed `` It 's in the middle of the street outside the Palace of Justice . ''
  1891. gold `` That 's right . ''
  1892. gold `` Outside the Law Courts . ''
  1893. gold `` It was bombed in - oh , many years ago . ''
  1894. gold future-seed `` It was a church at one time , St Clement Danes , its name was . ''
  1895. gold He smiled apologetically , as though conscious of saying something slightly ridiculous , and added : `` Oranges and lemons , say the bells of St Clement 's ! ''
  1896. gold `` What 's that ? ''
  1897. gold said Winston .
  1898. gold `` Oh - `` Oranges and lemons , say the bells of St Clement 's . '' ''
  1899. gold `` That was a rhyme we had when I was a little boy . ''
  1900. gold seed `` How it goes on I don't remember , but I do know it ended up , `` Here comes a candle to light you to bed , Here comes a chopper to chop off your head . '' ''
  1901. gold `` It was a kind of a dance . ''
  1902. gold `` They held out their arms for you to pass under , and when they came to `` Here comes a chopper to chop off your head '' they brought their arms down and caught you . ''
  1903. gold `` It was just names of churches . ''
  1904. gold `` All the London churches were in it - all the principal ones , that is . ''
  1905. gold seed Winston wondered vaguely to what century the church belonged .
  1906. gold It was always difficult to determine the age of a London building .
  1907. gold Anything large and impressive , if it was reasonably new in appearance , was automatically claimed as having been built since the Revolution , while anything that was obviously of earlier date was ascribed to some dim period called the Middle Ages .
  1908. gold The centuries of capitalism were held to have produced nothing of any value .
  1909. gold seed One could not learn history from architecture any more than one could learn it from books .
  1910. gold Statues , inscriptions , memorial stones , the names of streets - anything that might throw light upon the past had been systematically altered .
  1911. gold seed `` I never knew it had been a church , '' he said .
  1912. gold seed `` There 's a lot of them left , really , '' said the old man , `` though they 've been put to other uses . ''
  1913. gold `` Now , how did that rhyme go ? ''
  1914. gold `` Ah ! ''
  1915. gold `` I 've got it ! ''
  1916. gold seed Oranges and lemons say the bells of St Clement 's ,
  1917. gold You owe me three farthings , say the bells of St Martin 's -
  1918. gold `` there , now , that 's as far as I can get . ''
  1919. gold `` A farthing , that was a small copper coin , looked something like a cent . ''
  1920. gold `` Where was St Martin 's ? ''
  1921. gold said Winston .
  1922. gold `` St Martin 's ? ''
  1923. gold `` That 's still standing . ''
  1924. gold seed `` It 's in Victory Square , alongside the picture gallery . ''
  1925. gold seed `` A building with a kind of a triangular porch and pillars in front , and a big flight of steps . ''
  1926. gold Winston knew the place well .
  1927. gold seed It was a museum used for propaganda displays of various kinds - scale models of rocket bombs and Floating Fortresses , waxwork tableaux illustrating enemy atrocities , and the like .
  1928. gold `` St Martin's-in-the-Fields it used to be called , '' supplemented the old man , `` though I don't recollect any fields anywhere in those parts . ''
  1929. gold Winston did not buy the picture .
  1930. gold It would have been an even more incongruous possession than the glass paperweight , and impossible to carry home , unless it were taken out of its frame .
  1931. gold But he lingered for some minutes more , talking to the old man , whose name , he discovered , was not Weeks - as one might have gathered from the inscription over the shop-front - but Charrington .
  1932. gold Mr. Charrington , it seemed , was a widower aged sixty-three and had inhabited this shop for thirty years .
  1933. gold Throughout that time he had been intending to alter the name over the window , but had never quite got to the point of doing it .
  1934. gold All the while that they were talking the half-remembered rhyme kept running through Winston 's head .
  1935. gold `` Oranges and lemons say the bells of St Clement 's , You owe me three farthings , say the bells of St Martin 's ! ''
  1936. gold It was curious , but when you said it to yourself you had the illusion of actually hearing bells , the bells of a lost London that still existed somewhere or other , disguised and forgotten .
  1937. gold seed From one ghostly steeple after another he seemed to hear them pealing forth .
  1938. gold Yet so far as he could remember he had never in real life heard church bells ringing .
  1939. gold He got away from Mr. Charrington and went down the stairs alone , so as not to let the old man see him reconnoitring the street before stepping out of the door .
  1940. gold He had already made up his mind that after a suitable interval - a month , say - he would take the risk of visiting the shop again .
  1941. gold It was perhaps not more dangerous than shirking an evening at the Centre .
  1942. gold future-seed The serious piece of folly had been to come back here in the first place , after buying the diary and without knowing whether the proprietor of the shop could be trusted .
  1943. gold seed However - !
  1944. gold Yes , he thought again , he would come back .
  1945. gold He would buy further scraps of beautiful rubbish .
  1946. gold He would buy the engraving of St Clement Danes , take it out of its frame , and carry it home concealed under the jacket of his overalls .
  1947. gold He would drag the rest of that poem out of Mr. Charrington 's memory .
  1948. gold Even the lunatic project of renting the room upstairs flashed momentarily through his mind again .
  1949. gold seed For perhaps five seconds exaltation made him careless , and he stepped out on to the pavement without so much as a preliminary glance through the window .
  1950. gold future-seed He had even started humming to an improvised tune
  1951. gold Oranges and lemons say the bells of St Clement 's ,
  1952. gold seed You owe me three farthings , say the
  1953. gold seed Suddenly his heart seemed to turn to ice and his bowels to water .
  1954. gold A figure in blue overalls was coming down the pavement , not ten metres away .
  1955. gold It was the girl from the Fiction Department , the girl with dark hair .
  1956. gold The light was failing , but there was no difficulty in recognizing her .
  1957. gold She looked him straight in the face , then walked quickly on as though she had not seen him .
  1958. gold For a few seconds Winston was too paralysed to move .
  1959. gold Then he turned to the right and walked heavily away , not noticing for the moment that he was going in the wrong direction .
  1960. gold At any rate , one question was settled .
  1961. gold seed There was no doubting any longer that the girl was spying on him .
  1962. gold She must have followed him here , because it was not credible that by pure chance she should have happened to be walking on the same evening up the same obscure backstreet , kilometres distant from any quarter where Party members lived .
  1963. gold It was too great a coincidence .
  1964. gold Whether she was really an agent of the Thought Police , or simply an amateur spy actuated by officiousness , hardly mattered .
  1965. gold It was enough that she was watching him .
  1966. gold Probably she had seen him go into the pub as well .
  1967. gold seed It was an effort to walk .
  1968. gold The lump of glass in his pocket banged against his thigh at each step , and he was half minded to take it out and throw it away .
  1969. gold The worst thing was the pain in his belly .
  1970. gold For a couple of minutes he had the feeling that he would die if he did not reach a lavatory soon .
  1971. gold But there would be no public lavatories in a quarter like this .
  1972. gold Then the spasm passed , leaving a dull ache behind .
  1973. gold The street was a blind alley .
  1974. gold seed Winston halted , stood for several seconds wondering vaguely what to do , then turned round and began to retrace his steps .
  1975. gold seed As he turned it occurred to him that the girl had only passed him three minutes ago and that by running he could probably catch up with her .
  1976. gold seed He could keep on her track till they were in some quiet place , and then smash her skull in with a cobblestone .
  1977. gold The piece of glass in his pocket would be heavy enough for the job .
  1978. gold But he abandoned the idea immediately , because even the thought of making any physical effort was unbearable .
  1979. gold He could not run , he could not strike a blow .
  1980. gold Besides , she was young and lusty and would defend herself .
  1981. gold He thought also of hurrying to the Community Centre and staying there till the place closed , so as to establish a partial alibi for the evening .
  1982. gold But that too was impossible .
  1983. gold A deadly lassitude had taken hold of him .
  1984. gold seed All he wanted was to get home quickly and then sit down and be quiet .
  1985. gold seed It was after twenty-two hours when he got back to the flat .
  1986. gold seed The lights would be switched off at the main at twenty-three thirty .
  1987. gold He went into the kitchen and swallowed nearly a teacupful of Victory Gin .
  1988. gold Then he went to the table in the alcove , sat down , and took the diary out of the drawer .
  1989. gold But he did not open it at once .
  1990. gold From the telescreen a brassy female voice was squalling a patriotic song .
  1991. gold He sat staring at the marbled cover of the book , trying without success to shut the voice out of his consciousness .
  1992. gold It was at night that they came for you , always at night .
  1993. gold seed The proper thing was to kill yourself before they got you .
  1994. gold Undoubtedly some people did so .
  1995. gold seed Many of the disappearances were actually suicides .
  1996. gold But it needed desperate courage to kill yourself in a world where firearms , or any quick and certain poison , were completely unprocurable .
  1997. gold He thought with a kind of astonishment of the biological uselessness of pain and fear , the treachery of the human body which always freezes into inertia at exactly the moment when a special effort is needed .
  1998. gold He might have silenced the dark-haired girl if only he had acted quickly enough : but precisely because of the extremity of his danger he had lost the power to act .
  1999. gold It struck him that in moments of crisis one is never fighting against an external enemy , but always against one 's own body .
  2000. gold Even now , in spite of the gin , the dull ache in his belly made consecutive thought impossible .
  2001. gold seed And it is the same , he perceived , in all seemingly heroic or tragic situations .
  2002. gold On the battlefield , in the torture chamber , on a sinking ship , the issues that you are fighting for are always forgotten , because the body swells up until it fills the universe , and even when you are not paralysed by fright or screaming with pain , life is a moment-to-moment struggle against hunger or cold or sleeplessness , against a sour stomach or an aching tooth .
  2003. gold He opened the diary .
  2004. gold seed It was important to write something down .
  2005. gold The woman on the telescreen had started a new song .
  2006. gold Her voice seemed to stick into his brain like jagged splinters of glass .
  2007. gold seed He tried to think of O'Brien , for whom , or to whom , the diary was written , but instead he began thinking of the things that would happen to him after the Thought Police took him away .
  2008. gold It would not matter if they killed you at once .
  2009. gold To be killed was what you expected .
  2010. gold But before death ( nobody spoke of such things , yet everybody knew of them ) there was the routine of confession that had to be gone through : the grovelling on the floor and screaming for mercy , the crack of broken bones , the smashed teeth , and bloody clots of hair .
  2011. gold seed Why did you have to endure it , since the end was always the same ?
  2012. gold Why was it not possible to cut a few days or weeks out of your life ?
  2013. gold seed Nobody ever escaped detection , and nobody ever failed to confess .
  2014. gold When once you had succumbed to thoughtcrime it was certain that by a given date you would be dead .
  2015. gold Why then did that horror , which altered nothing , have to lie embedded in future time ?
  2016. gold He tried with a little more success than before to summon up the image of O'Brien .
  2017. gold seed `` We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness , '' O'Brien had said to him .
  2018. gold seed He knew what it meant , or thought he knew .
  2019. gold The place where there is no darkness was the imagined future , which one would never see , but which , by foreknowledge , one could mystically share in .
  2020. gold But with the voice from the telescreen nagging at his ears he could not follow the train of thought further .
  2021. gold He put a cigarette in his mouth .
  2022. gold seed Half the tobacco promptly fell out on to his tongue , a bitter dust which was difficult to spit out again .
  2023. gold The face of Big Brother swam into his mind , displacing that of O'Brien .
  2024. gold seed Just as he had done a few days earlier , he slid a coin out of his pocket and looked at it .
  2025. gold The face gazed up at him , heavy , calm , protecting : but what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache ?
  2026. gold Like a leaden knell the words came back at him : `` War is peace '' `` Freedom is slavery '' `` Ignorance is strength ''
  2027. gold It was the middle of the morning , and Winston had left the cubicle to go to the lavatory .
  2028. gold A solitary figure was coming towards him from the other end of the long , brightly-lit corridor .
  2029. gold seed It was the girl with dark hair .
  2030. gold seed Four days had gone past since the evening when he had run into her outside the junk-shop .
  2031. gold seed As she came nearer he saw that her right arm was in a sling , not noticeable at a distance because it was of the same colour as her overalls .
  2032. gold seed Probably she had crushed her hand while swinging round one of the big kaleidoscopes on which the plots of novels were roughed in .
  2033. gold seed It was a common accident in the Fiction Department .
  2034. gold seed They were perhaps four metres apart when the girl stumbled and fell almost flat on her face .
  2035. gold A sharp cry of pain was wrung out of her .
  2036. gold She must have fallen right on the injured arm .
  2037. gold Winston stopped short .
  2038. gold The girl had risen to her knees .
  2039. gold Her face had turned a milky yellow colour against which her mouth stood out redder than ever .
  2040. gold Her eyes were fixed on his , with an appealing expression that looked more like fear than pain .
  2041. gold A curious emotion stirred in Winston 's heart .
  2042. gold seed In front of him was an enemy who was trying to kill him : in front of him , also , was a human creature , in pain and perhaps with a broken bone .
  2043. gold Already he had instinctively started forward to help her .
  2044. gold In the moment when he had seen her fall on the bandaged arm , it had been as though he felt the pain in his own body .
  2045. gold `` You 're hurt ? ''
  2046. gold he said .
  2047. gold `` It 's nothing . ''
  2048. gold seed `` My arm . ''
  2049. gold `` It 'll be all right in a second . ''
  2050. gold seed She spoke as though her heart were fluttering .
  2051. gold She had certainly turned very pale .
  2052. gold `` You haven't broken anything ? ''
  2053. gold `` No , I 'm all right . ''
  2054. gold `` It hurt for a moment , that 's all . ''
  2055. gold seed She held out her free hand to him , and he helped her up .
  2056. gold She had regained some of her colour , and appeared very much better .
  2057. gold `` It 's nothing , '' she repeated shortly .
  2058. gold `` I only gave my wrist a bit of a bang . ''
  2059. gold `` Thanks , comrade ! ''
  2060. gold And with that she walked on in the direction in which she had been going , as briskly as though it had really been nothing .
  2061. gold The whole incident could not have taken as much as half a minute .
  2062. gold Not to let one 's feelings appear in one 's face was a habit that had acquired the status of an instinct , and in any case they had been standing straight in front of a telescreen when the thing happened .
  2063. gold Nevertheless it had been very difficult not to betray a momentary surprise , for in the two or three seconds while he was helping her up the girl had slipped something into his hand .
  2064. gold There was no question that she had done it intentionally .
  2065. gold It was something small and flat .
  2066. gold As he passed through the lavatory door he transferred it to his pocket and felt it with the tips of his fingers .
  2067. gold It was a scrap of paper folded into a square .
  2068. gold While he stood at the urinal he managed , with a little more fingering , to get it unfolded .
  2069. gold Obviously there must be a message of some kind written on it .
  2070. gold For a moment he was tempted to take it into one of the water-closets and read it at once .
  2071. gold But that would be shocking folly , as he well knew .
  2072. gold There was no place where you could be more certain that the telescreens were watched continuously .
  2073. gold seed He went back to his cubicle , sat down , threw the fragment of paper casually among the other papers on the desk , put on his spectacles and hitched the speakwrite towards him , `` five minutes , '' he told himself , `` five minutes at the very least ! ''
  2074. gold His heart bumped in his breast with frightening loudness .
  2075. gold Fortunately the piece of work he was engaged on was mere routine , the rectification of a long list of figures , not needing close attention .
  2076. gold Whatever was written on the paper , it must have some kind of political meaning .
  2077. gold seed So far as he could see there were two possibilities .
  2078. gold seed One , much the more likely , was that the girl was an agent of the Thought Police , just as he had feared .
  2079. gold He did not know why the Thought Police should choose to deliver their messages in such a fashion , but perhaps they had their reasons .
  2080. gold seed The thing that was written on the paper might be a threat , a summons , an order to commit suicide , a trap of some description .
  2081. gold But there was another , wilder possibility that kept raising its head , though he tried vainly to suppress it .
  2082. gold This was , that the message did not come from the Thought Police at all , but from some kind of underground organization .
  2083. gold seed Perhaps the Brotherhood existed after all !
  2084. gold Perhaps the girl was part of it !
  2085. gold No doubt the idea was absurd , but it had sprung into his mind in the very instant of feeling the scrap of paper in his hand .
  2086. gold It was not till a couple of minutes later that the other , more probable explanation had occurred to him .
  2087. gold And even now , though his intellect told him that the message probably meant death - still , that was not what he believed , and the unreasonable hope persisted , and his heart banged , and it was with difficulty that he kept his voice from trembling as he murmured his figures into the speakwrite .
  2088. gold seed He rolled up the completed bundle of work and slid it into the pneumatic tube .
  2089. gold seed Eight minutes had gone by .
  2090. gold He re-adjusted his spectacles on his nose , sighed , and drew the next batch of work towards him , with the scrap of paper on top of it .
  2091. gold He flattened it out .
  2092. gold On it was written , in a large unformed handwriting : `` I love you . ''
  2093. gold For several seconds he was too stunned even to throw the incriminating thing into the memory hole .
  2094. gold seed When he did so , although he knew very well the danger of showing too much interest , he could not resist reading it once again , just to make sure that the words were really there .
  2095. gold For the rest of the morning it was very difficult to work .
  2096. gold seed What was even worse than having to focus his mind on a series of niggling jobs was the need to conceal his agitation from the telescreen .
  2097. gold seed He felt as though a fire were burning in his belly .
  2098. gold Lunch in the hot , crowded , noise-filled canteen was torment .
  2099. gold He had hoped to be alone for a little while during the lunch hour , but as bad luck would have it the imbecile Parsons flopped down beside him , the tang of his sweat almost defeating the tinny smell of stew , and kept up a stream of talk about the preparations for Hate Week .
  2100. gold He was particularly enthusiastic about a papier-mâché model of Big Brother 's head , two metres wide , which was being made for the occasion by his daughter 's troop of Spies .
  2101. gold The irritating thing was that in the racket of voices Winston could hardly hear what Parsons was saying , and was constantly having to ask for some fatuous remark to be repeated .
  2102. gold Just once he caught a glimpse of the girl , at a table with two other girls at the far end of the room .
  2103. gold She appeared not to have seen him , and he did not look in that direction again .
  2104. gold The afternoon was more bearable .
  2105. gold Immediately after lunch there arrived a delicate , difficult piece of work which would take several hours and necessitated putting everything else aside .
  2106. gold It consisted in falsifying a series of production reports of two years ago , in such a way as to cast discredit on a prominent member of the Inner Party , who was now under a cloud .
  2107. gold This was the kind of thing that Winston was good at , and for more than two hours he succeeded in shutting the girl out of his mind altogether .
  2108. gold Then the memory of her face came back , and with it a raging , intolerable desire to be alone .
  2109. gold Until he could be alone it was impossible to think this new development out .
  2110. gold seed Tonight was one of his nights at the Community Centre .
  2111. gold He wolfed another tasteless meal in the canteen , hurried off to the Centre , took part in the solemn foolery of a discussion group , played two games of table tennis , swallowed several glasses of gin , and sat for half an hour through a lecture entitled Ingsoc in relation to chess .
  2112. gold His soul writhed with boredom , but for once he had had no impulse to shirk his evening at the Centre .
  2113. gold At the sight of the words `` I love you '' the desire to stay alive had welled up in him , and the taking of minor risks suddenly seemed stupid .
  2114. gold seed It was not till twenty-three hours , when he was home and in bed - in the darkness , where you were safe even from the telescreen so long as you kept silent - that he was able to think continuously .
  2115. gold seed It was a physical problem that had to be solved : how to get in touch with the girl and arrange a meeting .
  2116. gold He did not consider any longer the possibility that she might be laying some kind of trap for him .
  2117. gold He knew that it was not so , because of her unmistakable agitation when she handed him the note .
  2118. gold Obviously she had been frightened out of her wits , as well she might be .
  2119. gold seed Nor did the idea of refusing her advances even cross his mind .
  2120. gold Only five nights ago he had contemplated smashing her skull in with a cobblestone , but that was of no importance .
  2121. gold He thought of her naked , youthful body , as he had seen it in his dream .
  2122. gold He had imagined her a fool like all the rest of them , her head stuffed with lies and hatred , her belly full of ice .
  2123. gold A kind of fever seized him at the thought that he might lose her , the white youthful body might slip away from him !
  2124. gold What he feared more than anything else was that she would simply change her mind if he did not get in touch with her quickly .
  2125. gold But the physical difficulty of meeting was enormous .
  2126. gold It was like trying to make a move at chess when you were already mated .
  2127. gold seed Whichever way you turned , the telescreen faced you .
  2128. gold Actually , all the possible ways of communicating with her had occurred to him within five minutes of reading the note ; but now , with time to think , he went over them one by one , as though laying out a row of instruments on a table .
  2129. gold seed Obviously the kind of encounter that had happened this morning could not be repeated .
  2130. gold If she had worked in the Records Department it might have been comparatively simple , but he had only a very dim idea whereabouts in the building the Fiction Department lay , and he had no pretext for going there .
  2131. gold If he had known where she lived , and at what time she left work , he could have contrived to meet her somewhere on her way home ; but to try to follow her home was not safe , because it would mean loitering about outside the Ministry , which was bound to be noticed .
  2132. gold seed As for sending a letter through the mails , it was out of the question .
  2133. gold By a routine that was not even secret , all letters were opened in transit .
  2134. gold seed Actually , few people ever wrote letters .
  2135. gold seed For the messages that it was occasionally necessary to send , there were printed postcards with long lists of phrases , and you struck out the ones that were inapplicable .
  2136. gold In any case he did not know the girl 's name , let alone her address .
  2137. gold Finally he decided that the safest place was the canteen .
  2138. gold If he could get her at a table by herself , somewhere in the middle of the room , not too near the telescreens , and with a sufficient buzz of conversation all round - if these conditions endured for , say , thirty seconds , it might be possible to exchange a few words .
  2139. gold seed For a week after this , life was like a restless dream .
  2140. gold On the next day she did not appear in the canteen until he was leaving it , the whistle having already blown .
  2141. gold Presumably she had been changed on to a later shift .
  2142. gold They passed each other without a glance .
  2143. gold On the day after that she was in the canteen at the usual time , but with three other girls and immediately under a telescreen .
  2144. gold Then for three dreadful days she did not appear at all .
  2145. gold seed His whole mind and body seemed to be afflicted with an unbearable sensitivity , a sort of transparency , which made every movement , every sound , every contact , every word that he had to speak or listen to , an agony .
  2146. gold Even in sleep he could not altogether escape from her image .
  2147. gold He did not touch the diary during those days .
  2148. gold If there was any relief , it was in his work , in which he could sometimes forget himself for ten minutes at a stretch .
  2149. gold He had absolutely no clue as to what had happened to her .
  2150. gold There was no enquiry he could make .
  2151. gold She might have been vaporized , she might have committed suicide , she might have been transferred to the other end of Oceania : worst and likeliest of all , she might simply have changed her mind and decided to avoid him .
  2152. gold The next day she reappeared .
  2153. gold Her arm was out of the sling and she had a band of sticking-plaster round her wrist .
  2154. gold The relief of seeing her was so great that he could not resist staring directly at her for several seconds .
  2155. gold On the following day he very nearly succeeded in speaking to her .
  2156. gold When he came into the canteen she was sitting at a table well out from the wall , and was quite alone .
  2157. gold seed It was early , and the place was not very full .
  2158. gold seed The queue edged forward till Winston was almost at the counter , then was held up for two minutes because someone in front was complaining that he had not received his tablet of saccharine .
  2159. gold But the girl was still alone when Winston secured his tray and began to make for her table .
  2160. gold He walked casually towards her , his eyes searching for a place at some table beyond her .
  2161. gold She was perhaps three metres away from him .
  2162. gold seed Another two seconds would do it .
  2163. gold Then a voice behind him called , `` Smith ! ''
  2164. gold He pretended not to hear .
  2165. gold `` Smith ! '' repeated the voice , more loudly .
  2166. gold It was no use .
  2167. gold He turned round .
  2168. gold A blond-headed , silly-faced young man named Wilsher , whom he barely knew , was inviting him with a smile to a vacant place at his table .
  2169. gold It was not safe to refuse .
  2170. gold seed After having been recognized , he could not go and sit at a table with an unattended girl .
  2171. gold seed It was too noticeable .
  2172. gold seed He sat down with a friendly smile .
  2173. gold seed The silly blond face beamed into his .
  2174. gold seed Winston had a hallucination of himself smashing a pick-axe right into the middle of it .
  2175. gold future-seed The girl 's table filled up a few minutes later .
  2176. gold But she must have seen him coming towards her , and perhaps she would take the hint .
  2177. gold Next day he took care to arrive early .
  2178. gold Surely enough , she was at a table in about the same place , and again alone .
  2179. gold The person immediately ahead of him in the queue was a small , swiftly-moving , beetle-like man with a flat face and tiny , suspicious eyes .
  2180. gold As Winston turned away from the counter with his tray , he saw that the little man was making straight for the girl 's table .
  2181. gold His hopes sank again .
  2182. gold There was a vacant place at a table further away , but something in the little man 's appearance suggested that he would be sufficiently attentive to his own comfort to choose the emptiest table .
  2183. gold With ice at his heart Winston followed .
  2184. gold It was no use unless he could get the girl alone .
  2185. gold At this moment there was a tremendous crash .
  2186. gold The little man was sprawling on all fours , his tray had gone flying , two streams of soup and coffee were flowing across the floor .
  2187. gold He started to his feet with a malignant glance at Winston , whom he evidently suspected of having tripped him up .
  2188. gold But it was all right .
  2189. gold seed Five seconds later , with a thundering heart , Winston was sitting at the girl 's table .
  2190. gold He did not look at her .
  2191. gold seed He unpacked his tray and promptly began eating .
  2192. gold It was all-important to speak at once , before anyone else came , but now a terrible fear had taken possession of him .
  2193. gold A week had gone by since she had first approached him .
  2194. gold She would have changed her mind , she must have changed her mind !
  2195. gold It was impossible that this affair should end successfully ; such things did not happen in real life .
  2196. gold He might have flinched altogether from speaking if at this moment he had not seen Ampleforth , the hairy-eared poet , wandering limply round the room with a tray , looking for a place to sit down .
  2197. gold In his vague way Ampleforth was attached to Winston , and would certainly sit down at his table if he caught sight of him .
  2198. gold There was perhaps a minute in which to act .
  2199. gold seed Both Winston and the girl were eating steadily .
  2200. gold The stuff they were eating was a thin stew , actually a soup , of haricot beans .
  2201. gold In a low murmur Winston began speaking .
  2202. gold Neither of them looked up ; steadily they spooned the watery stuff into their mouths , and between spoonfuls exchanged the few necessary words in low expressionless voices .
  2203. gold `` What time do you leave work ? ''
  2204. gold `` Eighteen-thirty . ''
  2205. gold `` Where can we meet ? ''
  2206. gold `` Victory Square , near the monument . ''
  2207. gold seed `` It 's full of telescreens . ''
  2208. gold `` It doesn't matter if there 's a crowd . ''
  2209. gold `` Any signal ? ''
  2210. gold `` No . ''
  2211. gold `` Don't come up to me until you see me among a lot of people . ''
  2212. gold `` And don't look at me . ''
  2213. gold `` Just keep somewhere near me . ''
  2214. gold `` What time ? ''
  2215. gold `` Nineteen hours . ''
  2216. gold `` All right . ''
  2217. gold Ampleforth failed to see Winston and sat down at another table .
  2218. gold They did not speak again , and , so far as it was possible for two people sitting on opposite sides of the same table , they did not look at one another .
  2219. gold The girl finished her lunch quickly and made off , while Winston stayed to smoke a cigarette .
  2220. gold seed Winston was in Victory Square before the appointed time .
  2221. gold He wandered round the base of the enormous fluted column , at the top of which Big Brother 's statue gazed southward towards the skies where he had vanquished the Eurasian aeroplanes ( the Eastasian aeroplanes , it had been , a few years ago ) in the Battle of Airstrip One .
  2222. gold seed In the street in front of it there was a statue of a man on horseback which was supposed to represent Oliver Cromwell .
  2223. gold At five minutes past the hour the girl had still not appeared .
  2224. gold Again the terrible fear seized upon Winston .
  2225. gold She was not coming , she had changed her mind !
  2226. gold He walked slowly up to the north side of the square and got a sort of pale-coloured pleasure from identifying St Martin 's Church , whose bells , when it had bells , had chimed `` You owe me three farthings . ''
  2227. gold Then he saw the girl standing at the base of the monument , reading or pretending to read a poster which ran spirally up the column .
  2228. gold seed It was not safe to go near her until some more people had accumulated .
  2229. gold future-seed There were telescreens all round the pediment .
  2230. gold But at this moment there was a din of shouting and a zoom of heavy vehicles from somewhere to the left .
  2231. gold Suddenly everyone seemed to be running across the square .
  2232. gold The girl nipped nimbly round the lions at the base of the monument and joined in the rush .
  2233. gold Winston followed .
  2234. gold As he ran , he gathered from some shouted remarks that a convoy of Eurasian prisoners was passing .
  2235. gold Already a dense mass of people was blocking the south side of the square .
  2236. gold seed Winston , at normal times the kind of person who gravitates to the outer edge of any kind of scrimmage , shoved , butted , squirmed his way forward into the heart of the crowd .
  2237. gold Soon he was within arm 's length of the girl , but the way was blocked by an enormous prole and an almost equally enormous woman , presumably his wife , who seemed to form an impenetrable wall of flesh .
  2238. gold seed Winston wriggled himself sideways , and with a violent lunge managed to drive his shoulder between them .
  2239. gold For a moment it felt as though his entrails were being ground to pulp between the two muscular hips , then he had broken through , sweating a little .
  2240. gold seed He was next to the girl .
  2241. gold seed They were shoulder to shoulder , both staring fixedly in front of them .
  2242. gold A long line of trucks , with wooden-faced guards armed with sub-machine guns standing upright in each corner , was passing slowly down the street .
  2243. gold In the trucks little yellow men in shabby greenish uniforms were squatting , jammed close together .
  2244. gold Their sad , Mongolian faces gazed out over the sides of the trucks utterly incurious .
  2245. gold Occasionally when a truck jolted there was a clankclank of metal : all the prisoners were wearing leg-irons .
  2246. gold seed Truckload after truck-load of the sad faces passed .
  2247. gold Winston knew they were there but he saw them only intermittently .
  2248. gold The girl 's shoulder , and her arm right down to the elbow , were pressed against his .
  2249. gold Her cheek was almost near enough for him to feel its warmth .
  2250. gold She had immediately taken charge of the situation , just as she had done in the canteen .
  2251. gold She began speaking in the same expressionless voice as before , with lips barely moving , a mere murmur easily drowned by the din of voices and the rumbling of the trucks .
  2252. gold `` Can you hear me ? ''
  2253. gold `` Yes . ''
  2254. gold `` Can you get Sunday afternoon off ? ''
  2255. gold `` Yes . ''
  2256. gold `` Then listen carefully . ''
  2257. gold `` You 'll have to remember this . ''
  2258. gold seed `` Go to Paddington Station - ''
  2259. gold With a sort of military precision that astonished him , she outlined the route that he was to follow .
  2260. gold A half-hour railway journey ; turn left outside the station ; two kilometres along the road : a gate with the top bar missing ; a path across a field ; a grass-grown lane ; a track between bushes ; a dead tree with moss on it .
  2261. gold seed It was as though she had a map inside her head .
  2262. gold `` Can you remember all that ? ''
  2263. gold she murmured finally .
  2264. gold future-seed `` Yes . ''
  2265. gold seed `` You turn left , then right , then left again . ''
  2266. gold seed `` And the gate 's got no top bar . ''
  2267. gold `` Yes . ''
  2268. gold seed `` What time ? ''
  2269. gold `` About fifteen . ''
  2270. gold `` You may have to wait . ''
  2271. gold `` I 'll get there by another way . ''
  2272. gold seed `` Are you sure you remember everything ? ''
  2273. gold `` Yes . ''
  2274. gold `` Then get away from me as quick as you can . ''
  2275. gold She need not have told him that .
  2276. gold But for the moment they could not extricate themselves from the crowd .
  2277. gold The trucks were still filing past , the people still insatiably gaping .
  2278. gold At the start there had been a few boos and hisses , but it came only from the Party members among the crowd , and had soon stopped .
  2279. gold The prevailing emotion was simply curiosity .
  2280. gold seed Foreigners , whether from Eurasia or from Eastasia , were a kind of strange animal .
  2281. gold One literally never saw them except in the guise of prisoners , and even as prisoners one never got more than a momentary glimpse of them .
  2282. gold seed Nor did one know what became of them , apart from the few who were hanged as war-criminals : the others simply vanished , presumably into forced-labour camps .
  2283. gold The round Mongol faces had given way to faces of a more European type , dirty , bearded and exhausted .
  2284. gold From over scrubby cheekbones eyes looked into Winston 's , sometimes with strange intensity , and flashed away again .
  2285. gold The convoy was drawing to an end .
  2286. gold In the last truck he could see an aged man , his face a mass of grizzled hair , standing upright with wrists crossed in front of him , as though he were used to having them bound together .
  2287. gold seed It was almost time for Winston and the girl to part .
  2288. gold But at the last moment , while the crowd still hemmed them in , her hand felt for his and gave it a fleeting squeeze .
  2289. gold It could not have been ten seconds , and yet it seemed a long time that their hands were clasped together .
  2290. gold He had time to learn every detail of her hand .
  2291. gold He explored the long fingers , the shapely nails , the work-hardened palm with its row of callouses , the smooth flesh under the wrist .
  2292. gold Merely from feeling it he would have known it by sight .
  2293. gold In the same instant it occurred to him that he did not know what colour the girl 's eyes were .
  2294. gold They were probably brown , but people with dark hair sometimes had blue eyes .
  2295. gold To turn his head and look at her would have been inconceivable folly .
  2296. gold seed With hands locked together , invisible among the press of bodies , they stared steadily in front of them , and instead of the eyes of the girl , the eyes of the aged prisoner gazed mournfully at Winston out of nests of hair .
  2297. gold Winston picked his way up the lane through dappled light and shade , stepping out into pools of gold wherever the boughs parted .
  2298. gold Under the trees to the left of him the ground was misty with bluebells .
  2299. gold seed The air seemed to kiss one 's skin .
  2300. gold It was the second of May .
  2301. gold From somewhere deeper in the heart of the wood came the droning of ring doves .
  2302. gold seed He was a bit early .
  2303. gold There had been no difficulties about the journey , and the girl was so evidently experienced that he was less frightened than he would normally have been .
  2304. gold Presumably she could be trusted to find a safe place .
  2305. gold In general you could not assume that you were much safer in the country than in London .
  2306. gold There were no telescreens , of course , but there was always the danger of concealed microphones by which your voice might be picked up and recognized ; besides , it was not easy to make a journey by yourself without attracting attention .
  2307. gold For distances of less than 100 kilometres it was not necessary to get your passport endorsed , but sometimes there were patrols hanging about the railway stations , who examined the papers of any Party member they found there and asked awkward questions .
  2308. gold However , no patrols had appeared , and on the walk from the station he had made sure by cautious backward glances that he was not being followed .
  2309. gold The train was full of proles , in holiday mood because of the summery weather .
  2310. gold The wooden-seated carriage in which he travelled was filled to overflowing by a single enormous family , ranging from a toothless great-grandmother to a month-old baby , going out to spend an afternoon with in-laws in the country , and , as they freely explained to Winston , to get hold of a little blackmarket butter .
  2311. gold seed The lane widened , and in a minute he came to the footpath she had told him of , a mere cattle-track which plunged between the bushes .
  2312. gold He had no watch , but it could not be fifteen yet .
  2313. gold seed The bluebells were so thick underfoot that it was impossible not to tread on them .
  2314. gold He knelt down and began picking some partly to pass the time away , but also from a vague idea that he would like to have a bunch of flowers to offer to the girl when they met .
  2315. gold He had got together a big bunch and was smelling their faint sickly scent when a sound at his back froze him , the unmistakable crackle of a foot on twigs .
  2316. gold He went on picking bluebells .
  2317. gold It was the best thing to do .
  2318. gold It might be the girl , or he might have been followed after all .
  2319. gold To look round was to show guilt .
  2320. gold seed He picked another and another .
  2321. gold future-seed A hand fell lightly on his shoulder .
  2322. gold He looked up .
  2323. gold It was the girl .
  2324. gold She shook her head , evidently as a warning that he must keep silent , then parted the bushes and quickly led the way along the narrow track into the wood .
  2325. gold Obviously she had been that way before , for she dodged the boggy bits as though by habit .
  2326. gold seed Winston followed , still clasping his bunch of flowers .
  2327. gold His first feeling was relief , but as he watched the strong slender body moving in front of him , with the scarlet sash that was just tight enough to bring out the curve of her hips , the sense of his own inferiority was heavy upon him .
  2328. gold Even now it seemed quite likely that when she turned round and looked at him she would draw back after all .
  2329. gold seed The sweetness of the air and the greenness of the leaves daunted him .
  2330. gold Already on the walk from the station the May sunshine had made him feel dirty and etiolated , a creature of indoors , with the sooty dust of London in the pores of his skin .
  2331. gold It occurred to him that till now she had probably never seen him in broad daylight in the open .
  2332. gold They came to the fallen tree that she had spoken of .
  2333. gold The girl hopped over and forced apart the bushes , in which there did not seem to be an opening .
  2334. gold When Winston followed her , he found that they were in a natural clearing , a tiny grassy knoll surrounded by tall saplings that shut it in completely .
  2335. gold seed The girl stopped and turned .
  2336. gold future-seed `` Here we are , '' she said .
  2337. gold He was facing her at several paces ' distance .
  2338. gold As yet he did not dare move nearer to her .
  2339. gold `` I didn't want to say anything in the lane , '' she went on , `` in case there 's a mike hidden there . ''
  2340. gold `` I don't suppose there is , but there could be . ''
  2341. gold seed `` There 's always the chance of one of those swine recognizing your voice . ''
  2342. gold `` We 're all right here . ''
  2343. gold He still had not the courage to approach her .
  2344. gold seed `` We 're all right here ? ''
  2345. gold seed he repeated stupidly .
  2346. gold `` Yes . ''
  2347. gold `` Look at the trees . ''
  2348. gold seed They were small ashes , which at some time had been cut down and had sprouted up again into a forest of poles , none of them thicker than one 's wrist .
  2349. gold seed `` There 's nothing big enough to hide a mike in . ''
  2350. gold `` Besides , I 've been here before . ''
  2351. gold They were only making conversation .
  2352. gold seed He had managed to move closer to her now .
  2353. gold She stood before him very upright , with a smile on her face that looked faintly ironical , as though she were wondering why he was so slow to act .
  2354. gold The bluebells had cascaded on to the ground .
  2355. gold They seemed to have fallen of their own accord .
  2356. gold He took her hand .
  2357. gold `` Would you believe , '' he said , `` that till this moment I didn't know what colour your eyes were ? ''
  2358. gold They were brown , he noted , a rather light shade of brown , with dark lashes .
  2359. gold `` Now that you 've seen what I 'm really like , can you still bear to look at me ? ''
  2360. gold `` Yes , easily . ''
  2361. gold `` I 'm thirty-nine years old . ''
  2362. gold seed `` I 've got a wife that I can't get rid of . ''
  2363. gold `` I 've got varicose veins . ''
  2364. gold `` I 've got five false teeth . ''
  2365. gold `` I couldn't care less , '' said the girl .
  2366. gold The next moment , it was hard to say by whose act , she was in his his arms .
  2367. gold seed At the beginning he had no feeling except sheer incredulity .
  2368. gold The youthful body was strained against his own , the mass of dark hair was against his face , and yes ! actually she had turned her face up and he was kissing the wide red mouth .
  2369. gold She had clasped her arms about his neck , she was calling him darling , precious one , loved one .
  2370. gold seed He had pulled her down on to the ground , she was utterly unresisting , he could do what he liked with her .
  2371. gold But the truth was that he had no physical sensation , except that of mere contact .
  2372. gold All he felt was incredulity and pride .
  2373. gold seed He was glad that this was happening , but he had no physical desire .
  2374. gold seed It was too soon , her youth and prettiness had frightened him , he was too much used to living without women - he did not know the reason .
  2375. gold future-seed The girl picked herself up and pulled a bluebell out of her hair .
  2376. gold seed She sat against him , putting her arm round his waist .
  2377. gold seed `` Never mind , dear . ''
  2378. gold `` There 's no hurry . ''
  2379. gold `` We 've got the whole afternoon . ''
  2380. gold `` Isn't this a splendid hide-out ? ''
  2381. gold seed `` I found it when I got lost once on a community hike . ''
  2382. gold `` If anyone was coming you could hear them a hundred metres away . ''
  2383. gold `` What is your name ? ''
  2384. gold said Winston .
  2385. gold seed `` Julia . ''
  2386. gold `` I know yours . ''
  2387. gold `` It 's Winston - Winston Smith . ''
  2388. gold `` How did you find that out ? ''
  2389. gold `` I expect I 'm better at finding things out than you are , dear . ''
  2390. gold `` Tell me , what did you think of me before that day I gave you the note ? ''
  2391. gold He did not feel any temptation to tell lies to her .
  2392. gold It was even a sort of love-offering to start off by telling the worst .
  2393. gold seed `` I hated the sight of you , '' he said .
  2394. gold `` I wanted to rape you and then murder you afterwards . ''
  2395. gold `` Two weeks ago I thought seriously of smashing your head in with a cobblestone . ''
  2396. gold `` If you really want to know , I imagined that you had something to do with the Thought Police . ''
  2397. gold seed The girl laughed delightedly , evidently taking this as a tribute to the excellence of her disguise .
  2398. gold seed `` Not the Thought Police ! ''
  2399. gold seed `` You didn't honestly think that ? ''
  2400. gold seed `` Well , perhaps not exactly that . ''
  2401. gold `` But from your general appearance - merely because you 're young and fresh and healthy , you understand - I thought that probably - ''
  2402. gold future-seed `` You thought I was a good Party member . ''
  2403. gold future-seed `` Pure in word and deed . ''
  2404. gold `` Banners , processions , slogans , games , community hikes all that stuff . ''
  2405. gold `` And you thought that if I had a quarter of a chance I 'd denounce you as a thought-criminal and get you killed off ? ''
  2406. gold `` Yes , something of that kind . ''
  2407. gold `` A great many young girls are like that , you know . ''
  2408. gold `` It 's this bloody thing that does it , '' she said , ripping off the scarlet sash of the Junior Anti-Sex League and flinging it on to a bough .
  2409. gold Then , as though touching her waist had reminded her of something , she felt in the pocket of her overalls and produced a small slab of chocolate .
  2410. gold She broke it in half and gave one of the pieces to Winston .
  2411. gold Even before he had taken it he knew by the smell that it was very unusual chocolate .
  2412. gold seed It was dark and shiny , and was wrapped in silver paper .
  2413. gold seed Chocolate normally was dullbrown crumbly stuff that tasted , as nearly as one could describe it , like the smoke of a rubbish fire .
  2414. gold But at some time or another he had tasted chocolate like the piece she had given him .
  2415. gold The first whiff of its scent had stirred up some memory which he could not pin down , but which was powerful and troubling .
  2416. gold `` Where did you get this stuff ? ''
  2417. gold he said .
  2418. gold `` Black market , '' she said indifferently .
  2419. gold `` Actually I am that sort of girl , to look at . ''
  2420. gold seed `` I 'm good at games . ''
  2421. gold seed `` I was a troop-leader in the Spies . ''
  2422. gold `` I do voluntary work three evenings a week for the Junior Anti-Sex League . ''
  2423. gold `` Hours and hours I 've spent pasting their bloody rot all over London . ''
  2424. gold `` I always carry one end of a banner in the processions . ''
  2425. gold future-seed `` I always look cheerful and I never shirk anything . ''
  2426. gold seed `` Always yell with the crowd , that 's what I say . ''
  2427. gold `` It 's the only way to be safe . ''
  2428. gold The first fragment of chocolate had melted on Winston 's tongue .
  2429. gold The taste was delightful .
  2430. gold But there was still that memory moving round the edges of his consciousness , something strongly felt but not reducible to definite shape , like an object seen out of the corner of one 's eye .
  2431. gold He pushed it away from him , aware only that it was the memory of some action which he would have liked to undo but could not .
  2432. gold `` You are very young , '' he said .
  2433. gold seed `` You are ten or fifteen years younger than I am . ''
  2434. gold `` What could you see to attract you in a man like me ? ''
  2435. gold `` It was something in your face . ''
  2436. gold `` I thought I 'd take a chance . ''
  2437. gold `` I 'm good at spotting people who don't belong . ''
  2438. gold `` As soon as I saw you I knew you were against them . ''
  2439. gold seed Them , it appeared , meant the Party , and above all the Inner Party , about whom she talked with an open jeering hatred which made Winston feel uneasy , although he knew that they were safe here if they could be safe anywhere .
  2440. gold seed A thing that astonished him about her was the coarseness of her language .
  2441. gold Party members were supposed not to swear , and Winston himself very seldom did swear , aloud , at any rate .
  2442. gold Julia , however , seemed unable to mention the Party , and especially the Inner Party , without using the kind of words that you saw chalked up in dripping alley-ways .
  2443. gold He did not dislike it .
  2444. gold It was merely one symptom of her revolt against the Party and all its ways , and somehow it seemed natural and healthy , like the sneeze of a horse that smells bad hay .
  2445. gold seed They had left the clearing and were wandering again through the chequered shade , with their arms round each other 's waists whenever it was wide enough to walk two abreast .
  2446. gold He noticed how much softer her waist seemed to feel now that the sash was gone .
  2447. gold They did not speak above a whisper .
  2448. gold seed Outside the clearing , Julia said , it was better to go quietly .
  2449. gold Presently they had reached the edge of the little wood .
  2450. gold She stopped him .
  2451. gold seed `` Don't go out into the open . ''
  2452. gold `` There might be someone watching . ''
  2453. gold `` We 're all right if we keep behind the boughs . ''
  2454. gold future-seed They were standing in the shade of hazel bushes .
  2455. gold The sunlight , filtering through innumerable leaves , was still hot on their faces .
  2456. gold seed Winston looked out into the field beyond , and underwent a curious , slow shock of recognition .
  2457. gold future-seed He knew it by sight .
  2458. gold An old , closebitten pasture , with a footpath wandering across it and a molehill here and there .
  2459. gold In the ragged hedge on the opposite side the boughs of the elm trees swayed just perceptibly in the breeze , and their leaves stirred faintly in dense masses like women 's hair .
  2460. gold seed Surely somewhere nearby , but out of sight , there must be a stream with green pools where dace were swimming ?
  2461. gold `` Isn't there a stream somewhere near here ? ''
  2462. gold he whispered .
  2463. gold `` That 's right , there is a stream . ''
  2464. gold `` It 's at the edge of the next field , actually . ''
  2465. gold `` There are fish in it , great big ones . ''
  2466. gold seed `` You can watch them lying in the pools under the willow trees , waving their tails . ''
  2467. gold seed `` It 's the Golden Country - almost , '' he murmured .
  2468. gold `` The Golden Country ? ''
  2469. gold `` It 's nothing , really . ''
  2470. gold `` A landscape I 've seen sometimes in a dream . ''
  2471. gold `` Look ! '' whispered Julia .
  2472. gold seed A thrush had alighted on a bough not five metres away , almost at the level of their faces .
  2473. gold Perhaps it had not seen them .
  2474. gold It was in the sun , they in the shade .
  2475. gold seed It spread out its wings , fitted them carefully into place again , ducked its head for a moment , as though making a sort of obeisance to the sun , and then began to pour forth a torrent of song .
  2476. gold In the afternoon hush the volume of sound was startling .
  2477. gold Winston and Julia clung together , fascinated .
  2478. gold The music went on and on , minute after minute , with astonishing variations , never once repeating itself , almost as though the bird were deliberately showing off its virtuosity .
  2479. gold Sometimes it stopped for a few seconds , spread out and resettled its wings , then swelled its speckled breast and again burst into song .
  2480. gold Winston watched it with a sort of vague reverence .
  2481. gold seed For whom , for what , was that bird singing ?
  2482. gold seed No mate , no rival was watching it .
  2483. gold seed What made it sit at the edge of the lonely wood and pour its music into nothingness ?
  2484. gold He wondered whether after all there was a microphone hidden somewhere near .
  2485. gold He and Julia had spoken only in low whispers , and it would not pick up what they had said , but it would pick up the thrush .
  2486. gold Perhaps at the other end of the instrument some small , beetle-like man was listening intently - listening to that .
  2487. gold But by degrees the flood of music drove all speculations out of his mind .
  2488. gold It was as though it were a kind of liquid stuff that poured all over him and got mixed up with the sunlight that filtered through the leaves .
  2489. gold He stopped thinking and merely felt .
  2490. gold The girl 's waist in the bend of his arm was soft and warm .
  2491. gold He pulled her round so that they were breast to breast ; her body seemed to melt into his .
  2492. gold Wherever his hands moved it was all as yielding as water .
  2493. gold seed Their mouths clung together ; it was quite different from the hard kisses they had exchanged earlier .
  2494. gold When they moved their faces apart again both of them sighed deeply .
  2495. gold The bird took fright and fled with a clatter of wings .
  2496. gold Winston put his lips against her ear .
  2497. gold `` Now , '' he whispered .
  2498. gold `` Not here , '' she whispered back .
  2499. gold `` Come back to the hide-out . ''
  2500. gold `` It 's safer . ''
  2501. gold Quickly , with an occasional crackle of twigs , they threaded their way back to the clearing .
  2502. gold seed When they were once inside the ring of saplings she turned and faced him .
  2503. gold They were both breathing fast , but the smile had reappeared round the corners of her mouth .
  2504. gold future-seed She stood looking at him for an instant , then felt at the zipper of her overalls .
  2505. gold seed And , yes ! it was almost as in his dream .
  2506. gold Almost as swiftly as he had imagined it , she had torn her clothes off , and when she flung them aside it was with that same magnificent gesture by which a whole civilization seemed to be annihilated .
  2507. gold seed Her body gleamed white in the sun .
  2508. gold But for a moment he did not look at her body ; his eyes were anchored by the freckled face with its faint , bold smile .
  2509. gold He knelt down before her and took her hands in his
  2510. gold `` Have you done this before ? ''
  2511. gold future-seed `` Of course . ''
  2512. gold seed `` Hundreds of times - well scores of times anyway ''
  2513. gold `` With Party members ? ''
  2514. gold `` Yes , always with Party members . ''
  2515. gold `` With members of the Inner Party ? ''
  2516. gold seed `` Not with those swine , no . ''
  2517. gold `` But there 's plenty that would if they got half a chance . ''
  2518. gold `` They 're not so holy as they make out . ''
  2519. gold His heart leapt .
  2520. gold Scores of times she had done it : he wished it had been hundreds - thousands .
  2521. gold Anything that hinted at corruption always filled him with a wild hope .
  2522. gold Who knew , perhaps the Party was rotten under the surface , its cult of strenuousness and selfdenial simply a sham concealing iniquity .
  2523. gold seed If he could have infected the whole lot of them with leprosy or syphilis , how gladly he would have done so !
  2524. gold Anything to rot , to weaken , to undermine !
  2525. gold future-seed He pulled her down so that they were kneeling face to face .
  2526. gold seed `` Listen . ''
  2527. gold seed `` The more men you 've had , the more I love you . ''
  2528. gold seed `` Do you understand that ? ''
  2529. gold `` Yes , perfectly . ''
  2530. gold `` I hate purity , I hate goodness ! ''
  2531. gold `` I don't want any virtue to exist anywhere . ''
  2532. gold `` I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones . ''
  2533. gold `` Well then , I ought to suit you , dear . ''
  2534. gold seed `` I 'm corrupt to the bones . ''
  2535. gold `` You like doing this ? ''
  2536. gold `` I don't mean simply me : I mean the thing in itself ? ''
  2537. gold `` I adore it . ''
  2538. gold That was above all what he wanted to hear .
  2539. gold Not merely the love of one person but the animal instinct , the simple undifferentiated desire : that was the force that would tear the Party to pieces .
  2540. gold He pressed her down upon the grass , among the fallen bluebells .
  2541. gold future-seed This time there was no difficulty .
  2542. gold seed Presently the rising and falling of their breasts slowed to normal speed , and in a sort of pleasant helplessness they fell apart .
  2543. gold The sun seemed to have grown hotter .
  2544. gold They were both sleepy .
  2545. gold He reached out for the discarded overalls and pulled them partly over her .
  2546. gold Almost immediately they fell asleep and slept for about half an hour .
  2547. gold Winston woke first .
  2548. gold He sat up and watched the freckled face , still peacefully asleep , pillowed on the palm of her hand .
  2549. gold seed Except for her mouth , you could not call her beautiful .
  2550. gold seed There was a line or two round the eyes , if you looked closely .
  2551. gold The short dark hair was extraordinarily thick and soft .
  2552. gold It occurred to him that he still did not know her surname or where she lived .
  2553. gold The young , strong body , now helpless in sleep , awoke in him a pitying , protecting feeling .
  2554. gold But the mindless tenderness that he had felt under the hazel tree , while the thrush was singing , had not quite come back .
  2555. gold He pulled the overalls aside and studied her smooth white flank .
  2556. gold In the old days , he thought , a man looked at a girl 's body and saw that it was desirable , and that was the end of the story .
  2557. gold But you could not have pure love or pure lust nowadays .
  2558. gold No emotion was pure , because everything was mixed up with fear and hatred .
  2559. gold Their embrace had been a battle , the climax a victory .
  2560. gold seed It was a blow struck against the Party .
  2561. gold It was a political act .
  2562. gold seed `` We can come here once again , '' said Julia .
  2563. gold future-seed `` It 's generally safe to use any hide-out twice . ''
  2564. gold `` But not for another month or two , of course . ''
  2565. gold seed As soon as she woke up her demeanour had changed .
  2566. gold seed She became alert and business-like , put her clothes on , knotted the scarlet sash about her waist , and began arranging the details of the journey home .
  2567. gold seed It seemed natural to leave this to her .
  2568. gold future-seed She obviously had a practical cunning which Winston lacked , and she seemed also to have an exhaustive knowledge of the countryside round London , stored away from innumerable community hikes .
  2569. gold The route she gave him was quite different from the one by which he had come , and brought him out at a different railway station .
  2570. gold `` Never go home the same way as you went out , '' she said , as though enunciating an important general principle .
  2571. gold She would leave first , and Winston was to wait half an hour before following her .
  2572. gold She had named a place where they could meet after work , four evenings hence .
  2573. gold seed It was a street in one of the poorer quarters , where there was an open market which was generally crowded and noisy .
  2574. gold seed She would be hanging about among the stalls , pretending to be in search of shoelaces or sewing-thread .
  2575. gold If she judged that the coast was clear she would blow her nose when he approached ; otherwise he was to walk past her without recognition .
  2576. gold But with luck , in the middle of the crowd , it would be safe to talk for a quarter of an hour and arrange another meeting .
  2577. gold `` And now I must go , '' she said as soon as he had mastered his instructions .
  2578. gold `` I 'm due back at nineteen-thirty . ''
  2579. gold `` I 've got to put in two hours for the Junior Anti-Sex League , handing out leaflets , or something . ''
  2580. gold `` Isn't it bloody ? ''
  2581. gold `` Give me a brush-down , would you ? ''
  2582. gold `` Have I got any twigs in my hair ? ''
  2583. gold `` Are you sure ? ''
  2584. gold future-seed `` Then good-bye , my love , good-bye ! ''
  2585. gold She flung herself into his arms , kissed him almost violently , and a moment later pushed her way through the saplings and disappeared into the wood with very little noise .
  2586. gold Even now he had not found out her surname or her address .
  2587. gold However , it made no difference , for it was inconceivable that they could ever meet indoors or exchange any kind of written communication .
  2588. gold As it happened , they never went back to the clearing in the wood .
  2589. gold During the month of May there was only one further occasion on which they actually succeeded in making love .
  2590. gold That was in another hiding-place known to Julia , the belfry of a ruinous church in an almost-deserted stretch of country where an atomic bomb had fallen thirty years earlier .
  2591. gold seed It was a good hiding-place when once you got there , but the getting there was very dangerous .
  2592. gold For the rest they could meet only in the streets , in a different place every evening and never for more than half an hour at a time .
  2593. gold In the street it was usually possible to talk , after a fashion .
  2594. gold As they drifted down the crowded pavements , not quite abreast and never looking at one another , they carried on a curious , intermittent conversation which flicked on and off like the beams of a lighthouse , suddenly nipped into silence by the approach of a Party uniform or the proximity of a telescreen , then taken up again minutes later in the middle of a sentence , then abruptly cut short as they parted at the agreed spot , then continued almost without introduction on the following day .
  2595. gold Julia appeared to be quite used to this kind of conversation , which she called talking by instalments .
  2596. gold seed She was also surprisingly adept at speaking without moving her lips .
  2597. gold Just once in almost a month of nightly meetings they managed to exchange a kiss .
  2598. gold They were passing in silence down a side-street ( Julia would never speak when they were away from the main streets ) when there was a deafening roar , the earth heaved , and the air darkened , and Winston found himself lying on his side , bruised and terrified .
  2599. gold A rocket bomb must have dropped quite near at hand .
  2600. gold seed Suddenly he became aware of Julia 's face a few centimetres from his own , deathly white , as white as chalk .
  2601. gold future-seed Even her lips were white .
  2602. gold future-seed She was dead !
  2603. gold He clasped her against him and found that he was kissing a live warm face .
  2604. gold But there was some powdery stuff that got in the way of his lips .
  2605. gold Both of their faces were thickly coated with plaster .
  2606. gold There were evenings when they reached their rendezvous and then had to walk past one another without a sign , because a patrol had just come round the corner or a helicopter was hovering overhead .
  2607. gold Even if it had been less dangerous , it would still have been difficult to find time to meet .
  2608. gold seed Winston 's working week was sixty hours , Julia 's was even longer , and their free days varied according to the pressure of work and did not often coincide .
  2609. gold Julia , in any case , seldom had an evening completely free .
  2610. gold She spent an astonishing amount of time in attending lectures and demonstrations , distributing literature for the Junior Anti-Sex League , preparing banners for Hate Week , making collections for the savings campaign , and such-like activities .
  2611. gold It paid , she said , it was camouflage .
  2612. gold If you kept the small rules , you could break the big ones .
  2613. gold She even induced Winston to mortgage yet another of his evenings by enrolling himself for the part-time munition work which was done voluntarily by zealous Party members .
  2614. gold So , one evening every week , Winston spent four hours of paralysing boredom , screwing together small bits of metal which were probably parts of bomb fuses , in a draughty , ill-lit workshop where the knocking of hammers mingled drearily with the music of the telescreens .
  2615. gold future-seed When they met in the church tower the gaps in their fragmentary conversation were filled up .
  2616. gold future-seed It was a blazing afternoon .
  2617. gold The air in the little square chamber above the bells was hot and stagnant , and smelt overpoweringly of pigeon dung .
  2618. gold They sat talking for hours on the dusty , twig-littered floor , one or other of them getting up from time to time to cast a glance through the arrowslits and make sure that no one was coming .
  2619. gold future-seed Julia was twenty-six years old .
  2620. gold seed She lived in a hostel with thirty other girls ( `` Always in the stink of women ! ''
  2621. gold `` How I hate women ! '' she said parenthetically ) , and she worked , as he had guessed , on the novel-writing machines in the Fiction Department .
  2622. gold She enjoyed her work , which consisted chiefly in running and servicing a powerful but tricky electric motor .
  2623. gold She was `` not clever '' , but was fond of using her hands and felt at home with machinery .
  2624. gold She could describe the whole process of composing a novel , from the general directive issued by the Planning Committee down to the final touching-up by the Rewrite Squad .
  2625. gold But she was not interested in the finished product .
  2626. gold seed She `` didn't much care for reading , '' she said .
  2627. gold Books were just a commodity that had to be produced , like jam or bootlaces .
  2628. gold She had no memories of anything before the early sixties and the only person she had ever known who talked frequently of the days before the Revolution was a grandfather who had disappeared when she was eight .
  2629. gold seed At school she had been captain of the hockey team and had won the gymnastics trophy two years running .
  2630. gold She had been a troop-leader in the Spies and a branch secretary in the Youth League before joining the Junior Anti-Sex League .
  2631. gold She had always borne an excellent character .
  2632. gold She had even ( an infallible mark of good reputation ) been picked out to work in Pornosec , the sub-section of the Fiction Department which turned out cheap pornography for distribution among the proles .
  2633. gold It was nicknamed Muck House by the people who worked in it , she remarked .
  2634. gold There she had remained for a year , helping to produce booklets in sealed packets with titles like Spanking Stories or One Night in a Girls ' School , to be bought furtively by proletarian youths who were under the impression that they were buying something illegal .
  2635. gold `` What are these books like ? ''
  2636. gold said Winston curiously .
  2637. gold `` Oh , ghastly rubbish . ''
  2638. gold `` They 're boring , really . ''
  2639. gold `` They only have six plots , but they swap them round a bit . ''
  2640. gold `` Of course I was only on the kaleidoscopes . ''
  2641. gold `` I was never in the Rewrite Squad . ''
  2642. gold `` I 'm not literary , dear - not even enough for that . ''
  2643. gold He learned with astonishment that all the workers in Pornosec , except the heads of the departments , were girls .
  2644. gold The theory was that men , whose sex instincts were less controllable than those of women , were in greater danger of being corrupted by the filth they handled .
  2645. gold `` They don't even like having married women there , '' she added .
  2646. gold `` Girls are always supposed to be so pure . ''
  2647. gold `` Here 's one who isn't , anyway . ''
  2648. gold seed She had had her first love-affair when she was sixteen , with a Party member of sixty who later committed suicide to avoid arrest .
  2649. gold seed `` And a good job too , '' said Julia , `` otherwise they 'd have had my name out of him when he confessed . ''
  2650. gold Since then there had been various others .
  2651. gold seed Life as she saw it was quite simple .
  2652. gold seed You wanted a good time ; they , meaning the Party , wanted to stop you having it ; you broke the rules as best you could .
  2653. gold She seemed to think it just as natural that they should want to rob you of your pleasures as that you should want to avoid being caught .
  2654. gold She hated the Party , and said so in the crudest words , but she made no general criticism of it .
  2655. gold seed Except where it touched upon her own life she had no interest in Party doctrine .
  2656. gold He noticed that she never used Newspeak words except the ones that had passed into everyday use .
  2657. gold seed She had never heard of the Brotherhood , and refused to believe in its existence .
  2658. gold Any kind of organized revolt against the Party , which was bound to be a failure , struck her as stupid .
  2659. gold